Binge eating advice? and general rant

VivaPirata

Having some difficulties at the moment and looking for some friendly support or advice.

Back in October when I started until recently, I've had a lot of commitment, motivation, etc. I never had any problems following my own targets aside from an occasional "cheat day" or lazy day, but most of time found sticking to my calorie limits and activity goals pretty easy. I've lost a little over 50 lbs so far and I do feel good for it. I'm still around 20 to 30 lbs away from my target.

But the past few weeks have been a struggle. I suspect it may be due to emotional reasons and resorting back to an emotional relationship with food that I once had since it's been a stressful and emotional few weeks with exams and job searches both going badly and other reasons. However, I am struggling to now break out of this again and get back on track. Every morning, I wake up with the best of intentions and plans to do really well and I really mean it, and at some point in the day will just decide 'screw it' and sit down and before I can think it through and stop myself, binge eat - usually around double my daily calorie goal. I am home alone a lot at the moment as I've finished studies for the summer, don't have much of a social life at the moment and haven't found a summer job yet and my roommates are out working or socialising all the time. So over the past few weeks, I've been alone and bored and feeling sad and lonely most of the time which I why I think I keep giving in. It's becoming very, very, very frustrating and demotivating that I don't have the self control to stop doing this everyday. I feel very upset and angry with myself afterwards. I have tried deciding to just 'forgive myself' and draw a line under it and move on the next day , but it doesn't help. I have tried being angry and stern with myself, but it doesn't seem to make a difference either. I really need to get past doing this as I think I'm just caught in the cycle of it and if I were to be able to not do it and re-concentrate myself for a few days, I think I will be able to break out of it. I have shown myself I can successfully lose weight so there's no reason why I suddenly can't now. Any support or advice super welcome?

I feel deflated generally at the moment, that I seem to have made an effort over the last 8 or 9 months to lose weight but it doesn't seem to have made a difference. I'm still very overweight and although I know I'm roughly two thirds there, my goal weight just seems so far away especially at the moment when I'm behaving and eating like this and not losing weight. I decided to keep my weight loss decision and journey to myself, and so none of my family or friends are aware, and I know it's stupid to assume people pay that much attention to me, but no one has said anything or can tell. I still look the same as before. My mother and aunt have both lost similar amounts of weight in recent years and have made a huge deal of this - they look so different and have received endless praise etc, from others. Whereas for me, no-one has noticed or cared.

I feel like I've forgotten the point of this all and I'm stuck in a rut. I just need some motivation and encouragement. And advice from anyone who has had similar 'off' periods in their weight loss journeys. I am ready to move on from this now but every time I try it doesn't work out.

Thank you!

2011rocket3touring

Find some decent, friendly people who are into fitness. If you are very fortunate (as I am) one will decide to be somewhat of a mentor to you.
My mentor has been my biggest cheerleader and I don't know if I would have put in as much effort into this if it were not for him.
I have 2 friends that are into fitness and while their journeys are vastly different from mine I draw inspiration from them.
Much luck and love to you.