Managing weight with an eating disorder- please help :(

aaaron00

Hi all,
I have had a long history battling eating disorders and my weight has fluctuated from 108-178 in the past few years. For several years I was able to maintain my weight but started drinking which led me down the path of binge eating that made me gain back 30 pounds. This past year has been a severe battle with the binge eating / restricting cycle. Since January I have lost approximately 15 pounds with a close, calorie counting diet of around 1100-1200 calories everyday. On top of that, I was exercising about 2 hours per day usually with an hour of elliptical / biking and an hour of weights. Some days I would add in an additional hour of running or biking, and 2-3 days a week I would not do strength training. With the amount that I have been restricting and training, I feel that I should be losing more weight. I have had many physical and mental symptoms that have worsened over the past few months, ie feeling weak, about to faint, fatigued, joint pains, foggy brain, forgetful, paranoid, anxious....you name it. Last week I had a severe mental breakdown / panic attack / dehydration scare with heightening of all these symptoms which resulted in a trip to the ER. I had to return home to family for nearly a week and in that week I binge ate and snacked on random food throughout the house. In reality, I was probably eating 1500-2000 calories a day which "should" have been sufficient to maintain my weight considering I was still over-exercising during this time. However, I can see noticeable changes in my body and feel like I have gained at least 5 pounds in one week. I am extremely depressed because after all of my hard work of losing weight (which has taken me months) has resulted in me gaining weight in just one week of upping my calories. Before the ER trip I was about 5 pounds away from my goal weight but now I am set back even further behind. I suspect that my metabolism has been screwed up from overexercising and not enough calories / protein and my hormones are all out of whack. I am in real need of a healthy eating plan that has the right amount of macros / calories and will help me lose these last 10 pounds and keep it off without my weight rebounding. My eating disorder mindset just wants to restrict even more, but I know logically that I could end up in the hospital again if I keep up what I was doing. I am already working with a psychiatrist and an eating disorder specialist but need structure in terms of my eating plan. Any advice would be greatly appreciated at this point as I am very desperate.

foxygirl14

I'm so sorry that you have gone through all of that. EDs are horrible. I think the best thing for now might be working with your psychiatrist and finding a registered dietitian who can help give you a structured eating plan. This website is probably going to be more harmful to your mental health right now. I really encourage you to talk to your doctor and a registered dietitian. They will know what's best for your health given your past and they will see the whole picture from an objective point of view. Best of luck! It DOES get better.

ASKyle

Please see a doctor ASAP.

kshama2001

foxygirl14 wrote: »

I'm so sorry that you have gone through all of that. EDs are horrible. I think the best thing for now might be working with your psychiatrist and finding a registered dietitian who can help give you a structured eating plan. This website is probably going to be more harmful to your mental health right now. I really encourage you to talk to your doctor and a registered dietitian. They will know what's best for your health given your past and they will see the whole picture from an objective point of view. Best of luck! It DOES get better.

Agreed.

@aaaron00 isn't part of your eating disorder treatment team a dietitian who will help you with the meal plan? You're not going to get a consensus here.

Iknewyouweretrouble

Get a nutritionist at this point. Have your doctor recommend one.

moe0303

It seems like you're on the right track with the psychiatrist and an eating disorder specialist. Have they suggested a nutritionist? Also, have you sought out support groups for your disorder? Sometimes it helps to be around people with a common problem.

tonkacrew3

Throw the scale away. I suffered from an eating disorder that caused heart and kidney damage. I still am dealing with that damage 20 years later. Please, just eat a healthy, balanced diet, drink the recommended daily amount of water, and just do things you enjoy to keep fit. Don't exercise, keep track of your weight or worry about weight. When you are balanced in your eating and health outlook, everything falls into place.
Here are two healthy, balanced eating lifestyles I love:
https://dawnjacksonblatner.com/what-is-the-superfood-swap/
https://fullplateliving.org/

pebble4321

I'm very glad to hear that you are getting some support.
It may be that apps/forums like MFP are not a good place for you to be spending your time - I'd suggest you discuss that with your treatment team. Not because you aren't welcome here, but you need to be focussing on what is best for you right now.
Good luck with working your way through this.

jcmccleary7

tonkacrew3 wrote: »

Throw the scale away.

I totally agree. Throw away the scale. Having had my own struggles with restricting and binge-eating, I can honestly say that the point when recovery really starts is when you focus more on your overall health and how you feel than how much you weigh. I would encourage you to make sure you're talking to your psychiatrist and eating disorder specialist about feeling like you "need structure in terms of your eating plan" so that they can help you work through all of the emotions and self-destructive thoughts that inevitably come up when you try to do this, so that they can help you develop a meal plan in a healthy way. I am very glad that you've sought help, and I hope that you are well on your way to recovery.

VintageFeline

You didn't gain 5lbs of fat in a week, you would have to have eaten 2500 calories over and above maintenance every single day for that to occur.

Aside from that, see your care team, work with a dietician. This is not the place to make any sort of other plans.

skinnyforhi

foxygirl14 wrote: »

I'm so sorry that you have gone through all of that. EDs are horrible. I think the best thing for now might be working with your psychiatrist and finding a registered dietitian who can help give you a structured eating plan. This website is probably going to be more harmful to your mental health right now. I really encourage you to talk to your doctor and a registered dietitian. They will know what's best for your health given your past and they will see the whole picture from an objective point of view. Best of luck! It DOES get better.

This. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but, with a lot of hard work and the help of professionals, you can and will recover. Please take this the right way: it's concerning that you're posting about your "goal weight." Your "goal" right now must be to work through whatever is causing these behaviors while working with a registered dietician to ensure that you're feeding your body the nutrition that it needs. It's possible to change your body without feeling bad about yourself; you're not there yet, but if you put in the work, someday you will be. Please continue seeking the help that you need and ask your doctor whether you should be a part of this site right now. Best of luck to you- you CAN do this, and you are NOT a number on a scale.