Feel shallow

clairelouisekaa
clairelouisekaa Posts: 74 Member
in Chit-Chat
Theres a lovely guy that is interested in me but he's a big guy. My only concern is that I will change to his lifestyle not him to mine and I will end up fat again - is this shallow ?

Replies

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    My husband is a big guy. I'm an average girl. You will only gain back the weight if you allow yourself to consume more calories then you need.
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,399 Member
    Not shallow IMO, but maybe an indication that you are concerned with your own self control with eating and/or exercise lifestyle. If both people respect the lifestyle of the other, neither of you has to really change if you both compromise.

    You can eat healthy almost anywhere you go, and if he respects your choices the eating locations would be your choice at times too. The same applies to workout time and such. There is no rule that says you have to do everything together. For me having some space i a relationship is actually an important thing.
  • Ws2016
    Ws2016 Posts: 432 Member
    edited May 2016
    No reason to eat like your SO. I sure don't.
  • masonannable
    masonannable Posts: 45 Member
    I see your point , i know it is hard to keep to my diet and work outs when my gf doesn't help and sometimes i feel she trying to make me fail to keep my not reaching my goal . I would rather have someone who wants the same life style and support .
  • InfoomaousTete
    InfoomaousTete Posts: 1,383 Member
    I totally understand your concerns, I live in a house of three 6 foot plus men and this little 5 foot nothing loves to eat just like them! It's hard, It's really hard but you can do it! Over the last year...two of the three have joined MFP and have each lost over 25 pounds so my habits rubbed off on them not vice versa this time The other one is away at college and being the food/booze/fun glutton we all were in our twenties...lol.

    If you want to take a chance with him do it! Just hold tight to your reserves and who knows maybe you will spark a health awakening for him as well!

    Good Luck!!
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    My husband is overweight. I lost weight while he has only continued to gain. Just cause they don't care doesn't mean you don't have to. If you like the guy go for it and just stick to your healthy lifestyle
  • Tsartele
    Tsartele Posts: 683 Member
    clairelouisekaa wrote: »
    Theres a lovely guy that is interested in me but he's a big guy. My only concern is that I will change to his lifestyle not him to mine and I will end up fat again - is this shallow ?

    Never feel bad for having a personal preference. If your not into fat guys you are not obligated to date one. Its just that simple.
  • Unknown
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  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    Why do either of you have to change at all? If he's a lovely guy, why would anything need to change?
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
    Something to consider. My mom has ALWAYS been very healthy and concerned with her weight. As long as I can remember. And my dad has ALWAYS eaten what he wanted to and not exercised. They are 72 and 69 respectively, and my dad seems more like he is 82. He doesn't like to walk much, he has trouble holding his head up - just a host of issues, because he won't take care of his health. If you are thinking long, long term into the future - you may want to consider how this lovely guy will be like as an older man.
  • clairelouisekaa
    clairelouisekaa Posts: 74 Member
    I just don't think out lifestyles will match I constantly think about what I eat and exercise daily - he is a lovely guy but more of a take away, pint and Netflix xx think it would drive me crazy xx
  • R_is_for_Rachel
    R_is_for_Rachel Posts: 381 Member
    clairelouisekaa wrote: »
    I just don't think out lifestyles will match I constantly think about what I eat and exercise daily - he is a lovely guy but more of a take away, pint and Netflix xx think it would drive me crazy xx

    If you like him then you could cook for him rather than having takeaways. Also suggest going for walls, bike rides etc. Then if he's definatley not up for that stuff, then you'll know he's definatley not right.

    When I met my ex i only ate ready meals, he started cooking for me and I've never looked back. Also my present bf has got me into walking which I used to hate.
  • tinyvera
    tinyvera Posts: 7 Member
    2011rocket3touring wrote: »
    Not by a kitten light year. Your not being shallow you gauging potential future conflict.
    I cannot kitten emphasize enough how NOT shallow it is.

    Is this like the "cloud to butt" extension or is kitten a new adjective I'm not aware of :neutral:
  • Tsartele
    Tsartele Posts: 683 Member
    edited May 2016
    tinyvera wrote: »
    2011rocket3touring wrote: »
    Not by a kitten light year. Your not being shallow you gauging potential future conflict.
    I cannot kitten emphasize enough how NOT shallow it is.

    Is this like the "cloud to butt" extension or is kitten a new adjective I'm not aware of :neutral:

    Anytime anyone types a curse word MFP substitutes in the word *kitten*

    Like this Oh what the kitten

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