Change does not happen overnight... does it?

devilinsoul

Hii everyone,
I thought I would ask here because I'm getting desperate... SO I began my fitness journey in 2014 (end of february) and went from EU size 42 to 36, became a group fitness instructor, and so.. all was going great, during the years in I also did a great detox and ate raw for some months (I got to size 34 ^_^) but then last autumn/winter I began to eat less raw, more cooked and dairy, so my size was 34/36... Currently I am 36, which is okay, but - here comes the issue - I feel like I lost my motivation overnight... this happened around 3 weeks ago and I've been struggling ever since..
I am not lifting weights, only doing cardio classes /some that i am teaching and some I participate it/, I teach BodyBalance (yoga, taichi, pilates mix) but that does not burn much calories...
I have eaten so much chocolate during the last days I haven't eaten for a long time and I am terrified of weight gain... I started to loose my confidence already, which makes it extremely difficult to stand in front of the class and teach... Besides I have a stressful full time job in court, which means sitting all day and I used to struggle with depression which I feel like it's coming back,...

Oh and F, 5'7, 152-4 lbs, 22 y.o.

Has anyone been there? If so, please let me know how did you got through this... thanks:)

rosieandroo

It sounds a lot like you're struggling in more areas than just weight - you mentioned your stressful job and your depression coming back at the end of your post.

For me, when things get too much, sensible eating and being active is the first thing to go. When life is hard to handle, a coping mechanism like eating chocolate, or getting more rest than you actually need is really tempting. These activities give you comfort and that temporarily offers relief from stress. Ultimately, however, it makes things worse, and it might feel that getting back on track is overwhelming and too difficult to face while you feel so low/stressed.

For me, it's all about small steps and celebrating and acknowledging the little successes. So, maybe I have eaten way more chocolate than usual this weekend, but hey, I'm going to drink an extra pint of water, and prepare a sensible dinner for myself, and I'm gonna feel damn proud of myself for that part. I find combating feelings of shame or failure is really tough, until you start fostering feelings of pride and kindness toward yourself.

You obviously are in need of support, kindness and care right now, but don't forget that you deserve your health. "Human beings are more likely to choose comfort than they are to choose happiness, because comfort is easier" -- I don't remember where this quote is from, and I doubt I've got it right, but it always helps me to question if the choice I am making is one that will make me happy, or just comfortable.

I hope you start to feel a little better soon. Feel free to add me or message me if you need any support! I know how gross it can feel when things get out of control.

devilinsoul

thanks a lot:)

it's true that now I struggle in more areas, but as shallow as I am, a weight gain would totally "destroy" me. (I know, i'm still working on that part of me O:) )

PaigeInTechnicolor

Mental health is sooo important. If you are willing, you might want to at least talk to a psychiatrist. I was against meds for a long, long time, and kick myself now for all the needless suffering, wasted time and energy when getting out of bed was all I could realistically be expected to do, and hospitalization. These things --for me, at least-- can create a feedback loop pretty quickly... Welbutrian seriously saved my life.

angelwowings23

I'm currently going through this exact thing. I've lost about 15lbs since January. Mind you, these are 15lbs NO ONE thought I needed to lose. I didn't even realize I even had that many to lose. Anyhow...everyone seems to notice. I know I've made strides, but I'm NOT where I want to be yet. However, I'm at the real low end of my BMI at this point and I'm starting to feel sorta "eh, good enough". That sounds so awful, but when you've lost more weight than you were even shooting for...that's sort of how it gets. You work so hard, are figuring out you aren't going to be happy no matter what results you get... It becomes sort of pointless and unmotivating to keep going. I had been particularly stressed by work last week and so I used the weekend to enjoy my wine and snack and didn't pay attention to macros or calories. It was fun while it lasted but today...I couldn't feel more gross and out of sorts. I need to really dig in and re-dedicate to the process. I want to see how far I can go and what my progress is really going to be so I need to stop allowing this type of leniency on the weekends. The water retention is just hell. Really, all the snacking and wine aren't worth it. It's like a floodgate, though. Once I decide to chill on my diet for a day, or the weekend, I just do not care...until I feel like absolute garbage come Monday. I've decided no more of this. I have to stick to my cal/macro goals EVERY DAY. Come first week of July, I'll allow myself to eat at maintenance. Not a day sooner. Going to be a rough month and a half.