My Weightloss Makes People Angry...& That Makes me Happy! :-D

austinandres85

Set your life on fire and surround yourself with people who feed your flames. Great job on your weight loss

JustaJoe00

i've enjoyed reading through these comments. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

dutchandkiwi

Angry comments I have not had really but plenty of people telling me to stop and that I was thin enough. This was already when I was still overweight.
I told them in no uncertain terms that my BMI was (at that stage) 26,5 and therefore that I was not skinny, but overweight and that I was going to finish at BMI 22,5. That I knew what I was doing etc.
My MIL even told my huband to tell me to stop. My husband thankfully knows better than to tell me what and what not to do and informed his mother to butt out.
Well as it turns out it is 22,0-22,0 now in maintenance and after 6 months there everybody is used to the new me

Cutemesoon

Bump

VUA21

Yep! Not so much anymore as I've lost the "friends" that would constantly tell me that I'm "too skinny" or made snide comments about my weight loss. The so called "friends" that would start posting how "real women" have curves, although the "curves" they were posting about was obesity, not curves, then comment on how I'm a bad role model and my weight loss and figure aren't "attainable" for real women.

Those people are no longer in my life. The friends that are my friends no matter my size, I've realized: are my true friends.

I chalk it up to envy, some people just don't like seeing other people bettering themselves, when they aren't.

Krystasfocused25

Hmmm,,, there are some people that may be saying that out of jealousy but then some say it because they really think you look amazing where your at and couldn’t see you losing anymore weight!

Either way, it’s up to you how much you lose but not everyone is hating....,

righty_tighty

So here’s the thing with this - I’ve seen lots of people on here before, saying that their friends/coworkers notice their weight loss and act surprised, and occasionally encourage them to stop losing. Someone always says, “They’re jealous of your success! They want you to fail to feel better about themselves!”

I just don’t believe that. That’s a lazy, knee-jerk answer to the question of their motivation. I think well-meaning people tell you that you look great and have lost enough because, in their mind, weight loss is a monumental effort, you’ve done enough of this terribly hard chore and you should enjoy the results, rather than keep killing yourself to lose more. I truly think it’s well intentioned but poorly executed. I usually just respond with, “My health has improved SO much, I’m going to stick with it and see how much better I can make it!”
I have never had anyone press me to stop after that. To them, weight loss is about image. To us, the Losers, it’s a lifestyle. You wouldn’t tell a diabetic that since they just had their insulin, they should have this piece of cake because you know it’s bad for them. Most people don’t look at weight loss in the same light; I know my body gains weight easily and it’s bad for me - it’s my ‘diabetes’, for lack of a better word. I have to ALWAYS monitor my caloric intake. I can’t drop my vigilance because it’s bad for my body.

Diatonic12

There's self-sabotage and sabotage from others. It's not so much envy but fear. Fear of change. No one has to live in my body. Many of us have learned to downplay all of our efforts to avoid negative comments. We've all had them from specific people and they might be family members or close friends.

There are those who will even fabricate medical conditions to keep others off their back. I have an autoimmune disease or a I'm allergic to gluten and fruit and the list goes on. There are forums who even encourage that. Just tell a bunch of whoppers to get people off your back but the truth will find you out.

Sabotage is real. Don't be scared. Be prepared. Find yourself a strong group of peers who've got your back. Fear from others encourages you to 'change back' and fall back into your old habits. It makes them comfortable. We can't get rid of our family members but we can make new friends. Self-sabotage is the most difficult of all. That takes some serious brain training to reframe your thinking for the rest of your life.

cammiecane

I didn’t read through all the comments, but just wanted to give my two cents. I used to have an eating disorder and at my lowest weight was 99 lbs (I’m 5’7”). Once I hit about 120, I started getting those same comments. And ignored them. I still felt like I looked fat and hideous. The smaller I got, the more angry and aggressive the comments became.

Now, I’m so NOT saying oh have an ED. I’m saying people who really care worry. And the more danger they feel you’re in, the more aggressive/angry the comments will get. Because they’re terrified!

Are there some people who are haters and just want you to stop because they don’t want you to look “better” than them? Yes! You can figure out if someone really cares or not if you pay attention.

My recommendation to anyone in this situation is to do two things. A, figure out if the people saying these things mostly fit in the “hater” category or the “concerned/scared loved one” category. If they’re haters, *kitten* em. Excuse the language, but that’s exactly how you want to treat them. Ignore them, and if they don’t leave it alone, call them out on it.

If there are a lot of concerned loved ones coming up to you, I would take it to heart. I’d make a dr. Appointment with a nutritionist or dietician or even your GP. Bring along one of the concerned folks and listen. The Dr will tell you the truth. If you’re ok, everyone can now stop worrying because a dr said you’re fine.

Obviously this is intrusive and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone and can tell everyone to fck off if you want, but having been through what I’ve been through, and knowing I still thought I was huge at 99Ibs, I find it better to air on the side of caution if it seems like a majority of people who sincerely care about you are worried for you.

Sorry this is so long and I hope it made sense. 🙂

dsboohead

righty_tighty wrote: »

So here’s the thing with this - I’ve seen lots of people on here before, saying that their friends/coworkers notice their weight loss and act surprised, and occasionally encourage them to stop losing. Someone always says, “They’re jealous of your success! They want you to fail to feel better about themselves!”

I just don’t believe that. That’s a lazy, knee-jerk answer to the question of their motivation. I think well-meaning people tell you that you look great and have lost enough because, in their mind, weight loss is a monumental effort, you’ve done enough of this terribly hard chore and you should enjoy the results, rather than keep killing yourself to lose more. I truly think it’s well intentioned but poorly executed. I usually just respond with, “My health has improved SO much, I’m going to stick with it and see how much better I can make it!”
I have never had anyone press me to stop after that. To them, weight loss is about image. To us, the Losers, it’s a lifestyle. You wouldn’t tell a diabetic that since they just had their insulin, they should have this piece of cake because you know it’s bad for them. Most people don’t look at weight loss in the same light; I know my body gains weight easily and it’s bad for me - it’s my ‘diabetes’, for lack of a better word. I have to ALWAYS monitor my caloric intake. I can’t drop my vigilance because it’s bad for my body.

Well said and excellent observation!

cdjs77

I don't think it's jealousy outright, per se. I have been thinking about this lately because of an exchange I recently read on Facebook. A friend of mine has been working on losing weight recently and posted that he was proud to have finally made it out of the obese category for BMI. Another woman posted that he shouldn't focus so much on BMI because it likely wasn't accurate: according to her BMI she was obese, but, according to her, she clearly was only a little bit overweight. She received a lot of comments that agreed with her, so out of curiosity I visited her Facebook page to look at her pictures. First I want to note, the friend I mentioned earlier is someone who I was surprised to find out was considered obese, he had always looked a bit overweight but not morbidly so. This woman, on the other hand, was not someone like that. She was very clearly obese, and it was quite obvious. It seemed to me that she and the people agreeing with her seemed to have a very distorted perception of themselves and what is healthy and I think that plays a huge role in these types of comments. If you see yourself as "just needing the lose a few pounds," it's hard to come to terms with the fact that someone your size or smaller than you sees the need to start or continue losing weight. The natural reaction is therefore to protect one's self assessment by assuming there must be something wrong with the other person: it can't be that one is, themselves, also obese, it must be that the other person is too thin and has a distorted self image.

It also might be that being a bit self-centered is part of human nature. We all spend so much time analyzing and thinking about ourselves and our own lives that we assume others think about us just as much. When someone smaller than you says they want to lose weight, you wonder "if they think they are fat, what do they think of me?!" In reality, they probably don't think about us or our weight all that much. It's the same reason we think that person behind us in line must be snickering to themselves about us rather than a funny joke they heard earlier, or why we think that cute guy across the coffee shop is staring at us, rather than the nice painting behind us. A good way to deal with this might be to find a way to assure them that your weightloss has nothing to do with anyone but yourself.

makkimakki2018

I hear you i get this in the forums all the time when i ask for guidance. Im 146lb now 175cm tall and i want to drop another 21lbs. As if they were doctors they say to stop before i end up in the hospital or something similar. If atheletes can get there at my height i dont see why i can't. Its not like i intend 126lbs to be my weight with proper hydration and food in my system. I intend to be 135lbs with food and water in my system. People just dont get the idea that im trying to build a body that can gain weight to 135lbs before a 100k road race and come out of the hills at 129lbs and finish the race sprinting at 127lbs... smh i hate when people talk as if they are doctors.

akamomto4

andiegolf wrote: »

Maybe they are not angry, maybe they are worried about your health. Losing weight can get addictive and lead some people to not realize they are losing too much.
Maybe you should try and understand why they are saying that. Ask them... ?
My husband lost too much weight, everyone thinks he is sick but no one dares say anything. He looks ten years older and has become very unattractive to me. He gets very angry at me when I say anything. Which makes me think he is addicted to losing weight, having this control over his body. He also thinks people are just jealous of him but we are just worried.
Hope you find a solution, that leads you to a more peaceful set of mind.

Wow I could have wrote this! My husband lost a ton of weight without trying, everyone was truly worried but no one except me would say anything! He looked terrible and it aged him at least 10 years. People that hadn't seen him for awhile would ask him if he was ok and he wouldnt think anything of it. He has finally gained back 30lbs and looks great and NOW everyone tells him how ill he looked before and how he now looks so much better with his weight gain!

jswigart

I get the same comments from friends and family. I just ignore them and do what I want with my body.

Cutemesoon

jswigart wrote: »

I get the same comments from friends and family. I just ignore them and do what I want with my body.

I do the same.

smantha32

bump