KIDS
YuliyaShadyrya
Posts: 3 Member
desperate mom here. Trying to lose 30 lb (40 would be beyond my wildest dreams). But failing. Lost 9, gained 5 back. I notice that stress makes me eat. I can deal with stress by other means, like exercise or eliminate the source of stress . But with a 7yo and 1.5yo it is impossible to do these things just whenever I need to! I stress and eat, stress and eat! In addition I need to feed the kids. I make food for them, they don't eat it, so I feel pressured to finish it! I know I don't have to, but realizing it will go to waste makes me feel guilty. In addition, who can resist a plate of steaming hot buttered noodles?! Ok, parents of little ones, share your secrets! 
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Replies
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Don't eat the kids leftovers!
I have a 1.5yr old and I've started eating at the same time as him, and making him the same as me for lunch and dinner. So far he's eaten everything I've given him.
Exercise is tricky for me because I have a bad leg atm. I've been poppinh H in his pram just before he's due a nap, and I walk for an hour or so, I do 5km if I can (leg dependant). We have a small home gym, so I do 45 min in there when H is in bed.
I also fi d being organised is my savior, and meal planning, so I know what I can et and snack on without blowing my cals.5 -
If you start logging every bite of food you consume, then you will discover how many extra hidden calories there actually are from eating those leftovers! Every little taste throughout the day adds up.
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I either save my kid's leftovers for later (kids are always hungry, it seems) or toss it. It's wasted in the trash and it's wasted in my stomach because I didn't need the calories. I'd rather uneaten food be in the trash. I've said to myself "I'm not a garbage disposal!" more than a few times while breaking this habit.
If stress eating it affecting your progress, reach out and seek some help. There's no shame in it and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.12 -
It's wasted in the trash and it's wasted in my stomach because I didn't need the calories. I'd rather uneaten food be in the trash. I've said to myself "I'm not a garbage disposal!" more than a few times while breaking this habit.
lol! I actually gave myself a nickname "garbage disposal" for this very reason. Better stop!
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I either save my kid's leftovers for later (kids are always hungry, it seems) or toss it. It's wasted in the trash and it's wasted in my stomach because I didn't need the calories. I'd rather uneaten food be in the trash. I've said to myself "I'm not a garbage disposal!" more than a few times while breaking this habit.
If stress eating it affecting your progress, reach out and seek some help. There's no shame in it and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
All of this!3 -
I always make just enough for children and If they don't want their dinner then they have nothing else until they have eaten a reasonable amount. My children are good eaters so this rarely a problem1
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TavistockToad wrote: »I either save my kid's leftovers for later (kids are always hungry, it seems) or toss it. It's wasted in the trash and it's wasted in my stomach because I didn't need the calories. I'd rather uneaten food be in the trash. I've said to myself "I'm not a garbage disposal!" more than a few times while breaking this habit.
If stress eating it affecting your progress, reach out and seek some help. There's no shame in it and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
All of this!
+1
Pressure to eat the kids food? Why? Put their food in fridge if it can be eaten later by the kids or if they do not want it, then why should you?3 -
I always put my kids leftovers in the fridge for later. Also, when I get stressed out and feel the urge to stress eat, I immediately take the kids outside to play or take them on a walk to a playground. We all always feel better after we get some fresh air.0
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I am sure it's very stressful dealing with young children! I second the suggestion to feed them what you eat. You're not a line cook or a garbage disposal! I was a very picky eater growing up but both my brother and I would always eat plain chicken or simply seasoned pork, some type of potato, and a green vegetable (maybe add some butter to the veggies for the kiddos). My mom just had to figure out what my brother and I would eat- green salads, peas- not the best, not the worst- and green beans worked for us. We would also eat pasta with tomato sauce, meatballs, and a green salad- things like that. Can you steer them towards what you're eating and can healthy leftovers be repurposed as lunch? This also teaches (conventional) healthy eating habits (a carb, a protein, a vegetable...). Good luck!0
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My daughter is 19 but I'll chime in anyway.
Guilt is a wasted emotion. It doesn't help anyone. This may be contrary to what you've been lead to believe, but the starving children of the world do not benefit from you eating your kids' leftovers, nor will they be harmed if you throw said food in the trash.5 -
Serve your kids smaller portions. If they're still hungry you can always ante up with a piece of fruit.2
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Serve the kids what you eat, why do we feel it's ok to give the kids processed frozen chicken nuggets, or cans of ravioli, let's start them young to eat good whole foods with lots of nutrition.
Not saying I don't struggle, I have a 6 year old who would eat donuts morning to night if I allowed and now changing her habits have been a struggle since we have started eating healthy this new year.3 -
drink more water. when i feel like i want to munch (from stress, boredom, etc.), i drink a huge glass of water. if i'm actually feeling hungry after, i can reevaluate then. 95% of the time, the water fills me up though.2
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I never understood eating the kids leftovers. With all the bugs they bring home and the lacking handwashing, you couldn't pay me to eat food that the kids touched.
So.. give them less food to start with, and don't make extra (or make enough just for another meal). Personally, I never weigh the food I make for the kids either, so it's easy to just tell myself that if I want pasta, I'll weigh my own portion tomorrow instead.
And either way, log everything. Best way to be accountable, IMO, when the red numbers stare at you in the face...
For exercising, if the kids are not at school, I go to the gym. There's a kid room and I don't have to worry about them for 2 hours (plus it gives me a break). Or I ask my husband to take care of them if he's home.1 -
I've got four daughters (9, 6, 3, and 9 mos). Those bits that they don't finish aren't doing anyone any bit of good whether you throw them in the garbage or they end up on your butt, and they actually do you and your family harm if they prevent you from being a healthy weight. It helps to look at it that way. Toddlers have notoriously finicky, unpredictable appetites, so it's not uncommon (or unhealthy) for them to eat a lot at one meal and barely touch the next. Serve your kids reasonable kid sized portions, that will help reduce waste, but with an 18 month old in the house, leftovers are inevitable. Drop the guilt - you can't pack up those leftovers and send them to a starving person. Eating them yourself won't help anyone. (And don't try to get your kids to "clean their plates" either, lots of us have very bad habits because of that mentality! Let them learn to listen to their own hunger cues; it will serve them well in the future).
As for stress eating - I've never really been a stress eater (if anything stress kills my appetite), so I don't know that I can offer any really useful advice beyond what has already been given. Do try and make regular time for yourself. Get out of the house *by yourself* to do something *just for you* at least once a week, if you can swing it. Getting away from the noise and constant demands of small children will help you feel more calm when you return. There is a reason they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first when a plane is going down - you can't be of any use to anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Make you a priority - have a daily ritual that you can do to relax (a nightly bubble bath, a morning walk before the kids get up, a cup of tea in the afternoon, a glass of wine in the evening - you can make room for it in your calorie allowance). These types of things can help you relax and refocus and put things in perspective.
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I could have written your post! I've struggled and failed many times and stress eating is definitely a contributing factor. Heck, I gained 10lbs in 2 months after I found out my dog had bone cancer. I've only just gotten back at this, but I have lost 6lbs in 5 weeks, which is a major success for me.
I will say that talking to my doctor about my stress and anxiety was eye opening. With work, kids, grad school, the dog issues, the list just kept growing longer. My doctor recommended a low dose of anxiety meds. I was resistant at first, but after I started taking it I felt a lot better. I didn't actually realize how overwhelmed and agitated I felt all. the. time.
Now I feel much more in control and that includes being more in control of what is going in my mouth. I know it may not be a solution or the answer for everyone, but in my experience, it would be worth having a discussion with your doctor about the stress in your life and getting a handle on managing it better.2 -
My dd is a difficult 16 years. My dh has had severe anxiety for 7 years. We've been through some stressful times.
I stress clean or pace instead of eating. Listening to music helps me when I am stressed.
Kid's food- Cook or buy less food for them in the first place, throw away what they don't eat or put leftovers away for later. Leave some extra calories for it and include it as part of your meal. Eating it so it won't go to waste- that is an excuse.
Stress- set a timer for 10 minutes and practice meditation, listen to music, play a musical instrument, sing, exercise, knit/crochet, draw/paint/sculpt, garden, chew gum, drink a cup of tea, eat carrots not chocolate or a pizza. Get a babysitter, mother's helper or hand the kids to your partner so you get some time to yourself. Take a hard look at your life and prioritize- let go of some stuff, practice saying no, are you doing anything you enjoy?
If you are depressed or anxious seek professional help. Get in therapy. Get on meds if you need them. Do it for yourself and your family.0 -
I always saved their food when they were little, small plastic containers are easy to find, and I would keep them in the lower parts of the refrigerator so they could just go get their own leftovers and eat them cold when they were hungry between meals. If they started to pile up then leftovers would become their lunch or dinner one day to clear them out.
My youngest are teenagers now and all my plastic containers sit empty because there are no leftovers. Any that actually make it to the refrigerator are gone within the hour.0 -
My daughter eats what I eat and what my husband eats. She doesn't and hasn't ever gotten special meals or "kid foods" like buttered noodles or chicken nuggets or kraft mac 'n cheese unless they are what we are all having for dinner. And I don't eat her leftovers. I'm not a garbage disposal and I'm not going to act like one.
As for exercising, I'm going to guess that you have a partner (spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever) with whom you share childraising duties such as keeping your 1.5 yo's fingers out of electric sockets while you are exercising. Let him/her do that. Your 7 yo is well old enough to play on his/her own while you exercise as well. Part of raising kids is teaching them to be independent and that the world (i.e., your life) doesn't revolve strictly around them. You taking time out to take care of yourself is as much for their development as it is for your good health.2 -
Give it to a dog.
Not really, you'll just end up with a fat dog.
Don't give the kids too much.0 -
Just wanted to clarify something : I do serve kids what I eat! ;)thanks for all the advice!1
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Many of us struggle with guilt of throwing out food. It's ingrdined in us. So what? We change our thoughts about other things ET no longer agree with.
I had to decide is it better to throw out food or gain weight? It's not helping anyone if I eat the extra food, so it's either wasted or "waisted". My health is my first priority & I eat accordingly.2 -
YuliyaShadyrya wrote: »Just wanted to clarify something : I do serve kids what I eat! ;)thanks for all the advice!
Dish them less. I have been making that mistake at work, I'm a nanny not a mom so I don't get all the stress but I do understand most of it. I used to give them all that I thought they could eat but now I give them about half that amount. There is just no knowing how much they will eat any given day or meal!
Another tip is to get exercise with them, we do lunges together (okay, I do lunges and they do adorable little duck waddled trying to copy me), they help me count my push-ups, and the other day I used each one to do a couple "bench presses" haha.
I get stressed and overwhelmed at work often and when the going gets real tough I load up the stroller and we go. Even if it's just around the block, the change of scenery is great for all of us and sort of resets the mood of all involved. Is that an option?
Also, dance parties. Sometimes it's their music, but often times its my upbeat dancing mix that helps me reset my own stress and mood. Gets us all silly and it's smoother sailing from there.2 -
Sometimes I do the trick of serving myself a super-undersized portion with the expectation my kids will leave some extra behind, which I then finish off. 3
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Just don't eat it.
Make less, or put less on their plates. Save leftovers for the next day rather than consuming them because you "have" to. Regarding the stress, 60 seconds of deep breathing can be hugely therapeutic.
I've got a 5 and 6 year old, a full time job, and grad school. I get it, but it's also 100% doable. You just have to make yourself a priority, rather than putting yourself tenth on your list of important things.0 -
Sometimes I do the trick of serving myself a super-undersized portion with the expectation my kids will leave some extra behind, which I then finish off.
See, I have to do the opposite - when I fix myself something to eat I take more than what I will actually eat because somehow they know and come out of the woodwork saying "can I have a bite" (never mind that they just ate). Before I know it, half my food is gone
. Now, dinner is a different story, since we're all eating the same thing at the same time, but breakfast, lunch, and snacks? Yeah I count on the kiddos taking a good bit of my food, lol.
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I used to have the same issue, I have 3 kids twins who are 5 and an 18 month old. I think I basically gained weight eating what the kids didn't finish- because let's face it I rarely say down to eat a meal, but also stress eating. I now have a rule I only eat sitting down, and excessively chew my food.
For me what works is cooking one dinner a day, but catering to both kid friendly and my diet friendly meals. To accomplish this I have stocked my freezer with things from M&M meats that are both healthy for me (like a marinated piece of salmon for 150 cals that I can put with a salad) or kid friendly options (think chicken fingers, lasagna). Sometimes if I'm making a salad for myself I double the recipe and stock up for a later date and that is also huge help. I tried eating what kids eat but just smaller amounts and found myself still hungry because of limited portion.
My kids are also getting more adventurous as they see me eating different. Stir fry has become a family staple. They are branching out!
As for the stress eating, I mean we all do it but if you are all I say is log ANYTHING you put in your mouth.0 -
Don't eat the leftovers. You are not a garbage disposal. I know it feels wasteful so if possible save it for lunch or something the next day.
Get your kids involved in your activities. I run while my daughter is at piano practice so on our way to and from practice she asks to run there and back too. The other day I did a cosmic yoga video with the kids and they loved it.
Also a big thing for me was drinking water. It reduced my cravings and helped me curb the boredom/stress eating. When you get a snack put it in the kids bowl so you are eating a smaller portion. Have the kids help you with dinner and a be they'll be more likely to eat it.0 -
I've got lots and lots of kids, mostly older now (youngest is 9). I can't eat when stressed, so different from you in that way, but:
We were generally unscheduled, but organized mealtimes. Everyone sits down and eats, together.
Snacks are allowed for kids, pretty much unrestricted, if they do the work and cleanup themselves.
I don't buy much junk food at all. A big box of kashi bars, kind bars, sometimes chips or crackers but there just isn't a lot of unhealthy snackage available. So to get food, in general, one has to prepare food.
When funds allow, I put big bowls of fruit out.
If you aren't working, wow, take walks to the park, go to the beach, do active things. Babies are portable, and little kids love to run around.
If you are working, then (like me) you may have to get up early if you want time to work out. I go out for a run at 0530. Not because it's my preference, but because nobody needs me that early.
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