Frustrated With Outside Opinions

BrooklynApple88

So, today I walked into my relative's home and someone asked me what I ate today. I said, "Pizza." So then I had to hear a whole speech about how I need to stay away from pizza because it's so fattening and greasy. Then I also had to hear about green juices, vegetable soup, and making homemade potato chips to "cut all the grease and fat out."

I said, " Trust me, I'm doing fine. I made sure I had enough calories to enjoy a greasy slice of pizza." Then they went on about how I need to cut pizza out completely and eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink this type of milk, cut out this, add this, this vegetable is good for the blood, no Chinese food, eat fast food once a month, blah, blah. I'm so annoyed. People are really uneducated about what it takes to lose weight. I loathe the restrictive attitude. If I ate like what they suggested, then I'd end up bored and unsuccessful. They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.

misskarne

I feel like at some point in the conversation the words "It's none of your business" should have slipped out...

Zella_11

Awesome work on the weight loss! Keep doing what you are doing--disregard what others have to say about it.

Anaris2014

....just before (or after) punching them in the face.

You're doing it your way, and it's working for you. Sounds like a perfect result to me.

[The author of this post does not advocate, nor condone, violence].

KateTii

People really don't get it. Unfortunately, all you can control is your reaction. I've learnt that the best way to avoid these types of "lectures" is a short and simple "I'm fine". The reasons why they probe about food vary, but unfortunately, you can't stop them.

hiyomi

Yep, I get this alllll the time from friends and its getting quite annoying. I've often wondered at times what I should do/say to them as well..Its hard to tell someone no, and not be rude about it, because no matter how you look at it, or how I look at it, I feel like I'm being rude. lol Example, this past Saturday I wanted a burger and fries, and I chose that particular place because I knew the calorie count from there, the meal was like 1,000 calories, but I made it fit into my day. Anywho, my friend kept saying "why dont u get subway and its less calories, why don't u just get a pizza and eat 1-2 slices and its less calories". I didn't want no damn pizza, and feel way more satisfied eating a burger+fries rather than 1-2 slices of pizza! But its hard to explain it to them...Basically I get more food for a little more calories, and I was fine with it, but they can't understand that. They say "oh well i can eat 1-2 slices and be fine". But then they actually go order pizza and eat the whole damn thing by themselves! *rants* I feel you! I do!

AnvilHead

When people think it's okay to rudely stick their noses in my business and try to tell me how to run my life, I think it's equally okay for me to rudely tell them to pound sand up their *kitten* and mind their own business in return. Fair is fair.

SinomenJen

I get a really "serious" voice going and say" Under the advisement of my doctor and nutritionist, I am following the most prescribed CICO life plan.

kimdawnhayden

They are probably just jealous you had pizza and they didn't.

SezxyStef

honestly esp since it's family you have a choice.

Smile and nod

or

re-educate them if possible.

but at the same time how do they know you are counting calories aka trying to lose weight? did you mention it?

I have yet to have anyone anywhere tell me anything like that esp family...mainly because I didn't say anything to anyone about my efforts...I just did it.

CattOfTheGarage

"I see that what you're doing is succeeding. Let me tell you why it's wrong and you should do it some other way."

Honestly, I'd only go down the "education" route if people are genuinely interested. If they're just lecturing you and it's getting up your nose, try and change the subject.

viren19890

Sometimes problem is "eating whatever you can and still lose weight" sounds too good to be true. So what do people do when an unknown is introduced ? yes! shoot it down.

For me- if it gets overwhelming - I look at my hands and my fingers, if I'm standing next to a mirror then look into a mirror. If there has been no physical changes in me -that means whatever nonsense is being spewed isn't affecting me.

So I let them continue, I just smirk with a smug look on my face. That's right stay delusional, you'd be back to me asking for advice once you crash and burn (metaphorically) in your diet plans.

Results speak for themselves PERIOD.

BruinsGal_91

BrooklynApple88 wrote: »

So, today I walked into my relative's home and someone asked me what I ate today. I said, "Pizza." So then I had to hear a whole speech about how I need to stay away from pizza because it's so fattening and greasy. Then I also had to hear about green juices, vegetable soup, and making homemade potato chips to "cut all the grease and fat out."

I said, " Trust me, I'm doing fine. I made sure I had enough calories to enjoy a greasy slice of pizza." Then they went on about how I need to cut pizza out completely and eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink this type of milk, cut out this, add this, this vegetable is good for the blood, no Chinese food, eat fast food once a month, blah, blah. I'm so annoyed. People are really uneducated about what it takes to lose weight. I loathe the restrictive attitude. If I ate like what they suggested, then I'd end up bored and unsuccessful. They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.

Ah, but you obviously get it. And that's the important thing. Well done you! I've lost 20lbs in five months, and I eat pizza nearly every week, and a green smoothie has never passed my lips. Give up pizza? Never!

CurlyCockney

Nod/smile/move on.

fr33sia12

I totally agree, if it's working for you and you're happy then lectures from other people about "what you're doing wrong" are pointless and annoying.

This kind of thing happens no matter what you're eating. I'm very happily losing weight and very happily eating a healthy diet, cutting out certain foods because I want to do this for me and I get told similar things too, that I'm doing it wrong for cutting out foods, that I can still lose weight by eating pizza, chips, sweets etc (which I know is true) but never mind the fact that I don't want to eat those types of foods. Someone will always have an opinion on what you're doing and will love telling you it's wrong.

victoria_1024

You have to just learn to ignore that stuff. I used to get those comments until I lost almost 90 lbs and I've been successfully keeping it off. Now I'm more likely to have someone tell me to eat a cheeseburger because I'm clearly wasting away to nothing. People always have to make some kind of comment.

Carlos_421

Sounds like half the threads here on MFP...

ilex70

victoria_1024 wrote: »

You have to just learn to ignore that stuff. I used to get those comments until I lost almost 90 lbs and I've been successfully keeping it off. Now I'm more likely to have someone tell me to eat a cheeseburger because I'm clearly wasting away to nothing. People always have to make some kind of comment.

For real. My husband just commented to me a couple of days ago "My mom saw your recent picture and said you need to be careful you don't make yourself sick because you are getting really thin in your face."

Um, I'm near the top of normal BMI here.

He knows she is full of it. Then OTOH he will still comment sometimes or give me a look like "should you be eating that?"

JenHuedy

Usually I just smile and nod. But I think the next time I run into a know-it-all I'm going to ask them "Why?" And when they give me some Dr. Oz reasoning, I'll again ask, "Why?" and just keep going "why?" until they run out of answers. I call it the Toddler Maneuver.

jennifer_417

This is the exact reason I never really talked about what I was doing to lose weight. Errbody got an opinion. I figured I'd let my results speak for themselves. But I realize that there are times when it's unavoidable, and those times I just nod and smile, and make noncommittal noises.

Nachise

People who start out losing weight on fad diets never develop a realistic relationship with food. I am so done with that. My mantra is to eat real food in moderation without having to cut out entire classes of food. What you eat in any given day should reflect that.

People cut out gluten without knowing why gluten should be avoided for some people. People cut out carbs without knowing what are the nutritional powerhouses, and what is junk. People try to cut out fat without realizing that they are depriving themselves of the nutritional bioavailability of some vegetables. They have no idea that fat free processed foods have more sugar and sodium than their "fattier" counterparts.

Dammit. If I want to munch on a candy bar once or twice a month, I am going to have a candy bar. I log, I exercise, I eat.

try2again

I think some people, particularly family & friends, just want to share in your journey and so offer whatever (usually bogus) advice they happen to know. Also after I lost 40 lbs on my own, I had a friend enthusiastically suggest, "Oh, you should try having some vinegar and honey every morning!" You could tell she just liked the idea that she might be helping. I just smiled and said, "Oh yeah? Huh..." But sometimes people may unconsciously feel the need to shoot down what your doing, because if it were that simple, they would then have no excuse for themselves.

Serah87

Carlos_421 wrote: »

Sounds like half the threads here on MFP...

Yep.

mbrown913

Even though their advice is unsolicited, they're just looking out for you and trying to help

SLLRunner

BrooklynApple88 wrote: »

So, today I walked into my relative's home and someone asked me what I ate today. I said, "Pizza." So then I had to hear a whole speech about how I need to stay away from pizza because it's so fattening and greasy. Then I also had to hear about green juices, vegetable soup, and making homemade potato chips to "cut all the grease and fat out."

I said, " Trust me, I'm doing fine. I made sure I had enough calories to enjoy a greasy slice of pizza." Then they went on about how I need to cut pizza out completely and eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink this type of milk, cut out this, add this, this vegetable is good for the blood, no Chinese food, eat fast food once a month, blah, blah. I'm so annoyed. People are really uneducated about what it takes to lose weight. I loathe the restrictive attitude. If I ate like what they suggested, then I'd end up bored and unsuccessful. They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.

Blah. It's none of their business. Tell them so in the words you are comfortable using.

earlnabby

BrooklynApple88 wrote: »

They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.

First of all, congratulations on your success! You know what works for you so keep it up, no matter what others think.

I have one friend like that. Basically, we finally agreed to disagree and stay off the subject after several arguments. I make a point of congratulating her when she completes things like tough mudders and half marathons and she congratulates me each time I start buying a smaller size. Staying off the subject or finding common ground is the only way to handle zealots.

WifiresGettingFit

The only opinion that matters is yours.

I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.

Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.

earlnabby

WifiresGettingFit wrote: »

The only opinion that matters is yours.

I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.

Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.

I'm the type of person who likes to divert if I am speaking to someone I know is a zealot. My answer to that question would have been "a meat and veggie pie".

2011rocket3touring

Here is a tip that I used to be a successful married guy (25 years)...
Pretend your listening and think about anything else, nod appropriately say thank you.
What your doing is obviously working and they are speaking from a position of ignorance.

Cutemesoon

CattOfTheGarage wrote: »

"I see that what you're doing is succeeding. Let me tell you why it's wrong and you should do it some other way."

Honestly, I'd only go down the "education" route if people are genuinely interested. If they're just lecturing you and it's getting up your nose, try and change the subject.

If people haven't been successful with weight loss, what makes them think they are qualified to give you advice???Someone had the nerve to tell me that I should stop losing weight. They said they observed the way I eat, then proceed to tell me how I should eat. BTW, it was a guy and he looked about 6 months pregnant.

lemurcat12

jennifer_417 wrote: »

This is the exact reason I never really talked about what I was doing to lose weight. Errbody got an opinion. I figured I'd let my results speak for themselves. But I realize that there are times when it's unavoidable, and those times I just nod and smile, and make noncommittal noises.

Yep, this.

I don't think I know anyone who would ask me what I ate and then say judgy things about it, but if I did I'd probably start asking them why they were so interested in what I ate or say "just food" or some such.