Mom offered gastric sleeve!

runs4zen

You asked for advice, here it is from someone who did the deed.

Let me start off by saying that I come from this mental stance: I alone pay my bills, care for my two children and make decisions relative to my life and lifestyle, day in and out. There is no one on this site or in real life who is going to do that for me. Thus, a decision to have/not have a VSG, was mine alone. Other people's opinions did not hold water with me any more than they would have had I been getting a boob job, a tummy tuck or a face lift.

So, I took all the pro's and cons into consideration prior to surgery. Before deciding, I talked with the best WLS surgeon in the bay area, I talked with other people who had had the surgery (and/or other surgeries) and I read a lot of UNBIASED material related to WLS. I looked at my own set of circumstances (declining health issues that were no joke) and then I decided to have the surgery. I paid for it myself. I followed my doctor's orders. Here are the ongoing results.:

1. I lost 125 pounds in 10 months, the first year. I had no complications from surgery then or ever.
2. In three years, as PREDICTED by my doctor, I gained 10 pounds. Most of it is muscle weight, and you'll see why in a moment
3. I run 20-30 miles a week, every week, regardless of weather or work travel. I only run outside. I also do yoga once a week and a weight lifting class once or twice a week, work permitting. I have taken to running 1/2 marathons and am training for a full right now.
4. I have been at the same clothing size for over 3 years now. I like the size. It works for me.
5. I am super healthy (based on yearly blood work and tests). I watch what I eat and I eat everything in moderation. Nothing is off limits unless I say it is because I know it's something that isn't in line with the lifestyle I want to lead.
6. I do not have excess skin issues, though my abs could use some firming. I also have had two ten poundish children so I'm never going to have the abs of a teenager again and I don't care. They look good enough in my eyes and they are improving with the weight lifting class.
7. I am restricted in how much I can eat at any one sitting. I am not restricted in how often I can eat or what I eat. As such, I watch it like everyone else. I couldn't care less that I eat less in one sitting than the person next to me. Why that would be a concern is beyond me. I do eat at least 1680 calories a day and over 2000 calories on days I put in high mileage runs.

Having surgery is YOUR decision and shouldn't be something that people scare you out of, or give you advice on based on personal opinion. That includes me. You'll see I haven't recommended you to have/not have it. That's up to you. I'm just telling you that everyone is NOT a failure at WLS, everyone does not have horrendous complications and there are people like me who had their heads in the right place prior to surgery and the surgery is something they would do all over again, given the circumstances. Could I have made other decisions? YEP. I did make those decisions for years and years prior and had varying results that did not last. Again, it was MY decision. Just like this is YOURS.

Good luck whatever you do!

SteelySunshine

Here is my theory. You are in a good place right now. This is a good time to start a food journal, besides logging your food. Things to put in your journal, list of what you ate and what time you ate it. How it made you feel and how soon after were you hungry again. Was there any way to prepare that in a healthier way. Did you eat anything because of an emotional state. Did you eat anything because of physical pain (not just hunger related pain). Was there any point in the day where you were eating in an attempt to override fatigue (I used to do this a whole lot). It's also a handy place to keep recipes if you are experimenting with new veggies and combos.

Getting healthier should be more fun than work in my opinion. So far it's still fun for me. I will get back to you in 20-50 pounds though or when I slow down and get frustrated. I think it's fun for me because I like to experiment with doing different things. I started off by trying to get more energy so when that happened it was like well what else can I do. I ended up here. Everyday I look forward to doing something different and doing something that will help me accomplish my life goals. So far I have been able to carry a deficit everyday even if it's just the smallest of deficits. Although I am not sure what I weighed when I started I know it was well over 300 lbs but most likely less than 340. I didn't even have a scale for 5 months into experimenting with different foods to get more energy and well just to feel better overall.

I can't say every meal has been a rousing success. I definitely can't say every moving more session has been the greatest fun I have ever had and sometimes it was downright painful. Yesterday a treadmill tried to kill me. Not kidding. I was pushing the lower the speed button and suddenly it jumped up to 4.5 miles per hour. That is a very fast run for me. I am more of a 2.0 kinda person. So I nearly went flying off I jumped on the side of the machine really quick, didn't know I could move that fast. Anyway, I have gotten to know my neighborhood, I am sporting a very nice burn (not really nice, but I like a little color). I can do a lot of things I couldn't do 7 years ago to just a few months ago. I am almost always finding new things I can do now. I have a lot more energy and I am almost down to a weight I haven't been for over a decade.

So my advice is to keep working toward finding what works for you to control your hunger and cravings. This will probably end up being more fiber, a bit more protein, and making sure you don't go too low on the fat. That is what I have found works for me. Then find an exercise routine you can stick to this is important to preserve your lean mass and it will give you a bit of wiggle room calorie wise as long as you don't take it as a licence to clean the pantry. Oh and make lots of MFP friends it's one of my days high lights catching up with people and we share more than weight loss at least my friends do. We talk about our lives beyond that and really get to know each other.

meltedsno

Regardless of what your decision is, please keep in mind that these operations are not the CURE ALL to obesity... it is an aid. It will help you get to your goal weight, but will not help you stay at that weight if you do not learn to eat right and exercise. I am a firm believer in that all weight loss operation candidates should have to go through a miminum of 6 months' worth of behavior modification classes to learn how to eat properly and to handle what ever their overeating triggers are so they can cope with these issues post surgery. I know people who have gone through these surgeries (one person actually went through it twice within 5 years' time...and has since regained all the weight lost) and it makes me very angry that doctors will still go ahead and perform these procedures without addressing the psychological aspects as well as as the physical. These surgeries, in my opinion, are nothing more than a band aid fix for an issue that has much deeper roots.

I am willing to bet that if a candidate were required to go through that minimum 6 months' worth of behavior modification, they will find that they really don't need the surgery after all ...just my opinion

epie2098

Ultimately, it's your decision, but you can lose weight if you really want to. Surgical methods work because they cause a change in behaviour initially. Over time, you either continue with the behaviour or you sneak back to old ones. Or you can work on changing your current behaviours in favour of new ones.

I do a fair amount of behaviour modification with high-needs teenagers, and you can't eliminate a behaviour, only replace it. For example, you eliminate video gaming after work/school with going to yoga. You eliminate not having breakfast by establishing the process of having a piece of toast with a nut butter. You eliminate drinking regular or diet soda/pop by replacing it with carbonated water. You replace stress eating with exercise, replace boredom eating with an activity you don't find boring (crafting, reading, yoga, video games...). Think about which behaviours you need to fix and work on one or two at a time.

My highest recorded weight at 5'8" was 245lbs, but I probably weighed more than that at some point. I'm now 158 and working on the last few pounds.

It took time and a few tries to find the right program for me, my body, and my lifestyle. For example, I gained weight on weight watchers. My energy level crashed after 3 months on Atkins, but holy cow did I lose weight! (30lbs). I tried South Beach, but found that I couldn't really stick with it even though I could do Atkins like a pro. I also did Tone It Up! and actually gained weight, so don't try that one.

I'm now on an almost-vegan diet with lots and lots of veggies, beans, gluten-free grains, seeds, nuts, and small amounts of soy, eggs, and goat/sheep dairy. I tried calories in-calories out that MFP advocates, but did great at maintaining, not losing (and I'm accurate in recording). I had a really stressful year, and to help my body recover over summer (I'm a teacher), I am currently on the Fast Metabolism Diet by Haylie Pomroy. I'm down 6lbs in just under a week, and it's whole food, lots of veggies, and easy to follow. Take a look on the amazon site in your country and have a look; there are also forums you can look in to get a feel for how the plan is working for people on it. No solicitation, but I'm down 6 and hubs is down 10 and there's a ton of food!

Arnpobgyn

Thanks for you opinion. I am considering the gastric sleeve also. Have had my first consult and waiting for my primary care MD to send the required letter on need to the surgeon. I am 60 with weight of 231. I have been over weight all my life and yes, I feed the sleeve is cheating but if you are my age and have tried all your life, then I think it is time to cheat! I would like for you to connect with me on facebook if you will and join in my progress. I would be very interested in following you also. Juanita_mcspadden@yahoo.com

QueenWino

You mentioned suffering a miscarriage, for which I am very sorry. I would absolutely not contemplate any surgery until I'd had enough time to heal, process that hard pain. Some life situations are too much. There is support for you no matter which decision you make, but your words seem to indicate you are leaning towards a no on the gastric. Listen to your inner truth. It sounds like you have been successful at removing a good amount of weight without a surgery, but you might decide to take that step. We are all unique and need different things. I want to prove to myself that I can work through my hang ups and remove my fat, maintain the loss, and focus on something else for a change. I feel it is my journey to learn to remove my protective coat and be okay with that. You have your own path, though, and though I know what I need to do to make my way, I don't know what your needs are. Good luck and again, I am so sorry for your loss.

tomg33

Go stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and start talking to yourself. I'm serious. Have a conversation with yourself.

Are you really so lost that you need to take this step? Is this how you thought things would turn out when you were a little kid?
It's not about cheating or anything like that, it's about undergoing a serious medical procedure which will affect you for the rest of your life. Wouldn't it be easier to eat less and move more?

I'm really trying not to be mean here but this surgery is so extreme and most people aren't saying this. Unless you have a serious eating disorder where you cannot control your urge to eat then it is much healthier and better for your psyche in the long run to make small steps and slowly but surely change your lifestyle around.

wswilliams67

I'm a firm believer that 90% of transforming yourself is mental. It's a head game. Exercising is the easy part. Nutrition is the easy part. Sticking to your plan and reaching goals is the hard part. Sadly most people defeat themselves. You have to look into yourself and dig out the real issues for your current weight. Emotional baggage? Thyroid issues? Apathy? Laziness? Work-a-holic? Etc.

I know two co-workers who have both had the surgery. One thinks it's a fix-all (including her Diabetes) and the other knows it's a means to an end, but it's not the entire solution. One still drinks and eats candy and barely exercises. The other is very focused on nutrition and working out. I wonder who is going to be successful?

I know it's a tempting offer to get the surgery, but honestly, 260 is not that far gone. You can beat that. Now if you were 350+ I would perhaps have a different opinion.

I was offered the band as an option, but I chose not to. Now I'm down 60+ pounds, my A1c is 6% (down from 14%) and I do CrossFit daily. I've never felt better and I'm still 265. The real difference is I'm changing my MENTAL state. The body only does what the mind tells it to do.

I hope you can find a peace about this issue and that you make an informed decision, not an emotional one.

Good Luck

Athena53

Since you mentioned a miscarriage (and yes, many cannot be explained)- are you considering pregnancy again in the future? I'm sure not an expert on the subject but if you are, your research should also include a lot of questions about pregnancy (and possibly breastfeeding) after bariatric surgery. Since you need to take in more calories, and nutrient-dense calories during pregnancy, you'd want to find out if that's possible.

shirleygirl910

I felt cheated. I consulted with three different doctors, researched my rear off and everyone told me it was a piece of cake. The "few" that put thier weight back on ate ice cream.

Now three years out, I've learned in order to maintain the weight loss I have to eat right and exercise. The same thing anyone has to do to lose weight. It's unfortunate that I have seen a lot of people in support groups and friends that went to all the trouble of having surgery and then let all the wieght come right back on. I work hard on maintaining my weight every day.

briannadunn

You are doing great!!! I was right where you were at last November, just keep pushing forward and you will get there without the sleeve or any drastic surgery.

quicklabs

I'm just about your "twin", albeit much older. I am 5'6". One year ago, I weighed 230 lbs. (I probably weighed more than that at my biggest). In just 12 months, I am down to 153. I have absolutely horrible knees, and so I can't exercise like a madwoman. I aimed for 1 - 1 1/2 lbs loss/week. I did elliptical and stationary and regular bike, along with seated cardio and weight workouts. I just started some heavily modified. Zumba. I use a HRM to keep track and I log every single calorie I eat. I use a scale to measure to the gram, and measure everything that goes into my recipes.
So, it can be done without surgery. Even at almost 56 years old.
I don't think that surgery is the easy way out, but the way. Weight loss is challenging, no matter how you do it.

Your BMI of 37 with no other health conditions would probably put you in the questionable range for surgery, anyway. Usually, surgeons want to see BMI of 40 before they'll consider it for someone who does not have associated conditions.

You are already taking steps in the right direction. After the tragedy of a miscarriage (for which I extend my sympathy), it would have been easy to soothe yourself with eating. But you didn't do that. You did just the opposite and committed yourself to improving your health.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best. How kind it was of your mom to make such a generous offer.

christianladybug

I had gastric sleeve done July 15th. Trust me this is an aid not a cheat. I have been over weight since I was nine and I am now 44. Research it talk to your doctor but don't ever think this is the easy way out. To be successful you have to change your attitude about food even with this. You can lose the weight but if you don't stick to the program you can gain it all back again. I know I have seen my sister do it with gastric by-pass.

Missjulesdid

I felt cheated. I consulted with three different doctors, researched my rear off and everyone told me it was a piece of cake. The "few" that put thier weight back on ate ice cream.

Now three years out, I've learned in order to maintain the weight loss I have to eat right and exercise. The same thing anyone has to do to lose weight. It's unfortunate that I have seen a lot of people in support groups and friends that went to all the trouble of having surgery and then let all the wieght come right back on. I work hard on maintaining my weight every day.

It's a shame that more doctors don't offer realistic expectations. I went into this with the understanding that it would still be HARD... but slightly LESS HARD than without the surgery. And so far for me this has been the truth. The surgery, combined with my effort IS enough to make this weight loss finally happen for me. I can still eat anything I want and due to my longer than average stomach, I can eat larger portions than many other bariatric patients...If I'm not careful I can easily eat more than I burn.... BUT if I'm careful, it's actually possible for me to eat less unlike before when I would feel hungry ALL THE FREAKING TIME and not be satisfied without a too large portion.