Feeling like I don't have a right to want this..

MsLaura518

I live in a house where I am the smallest person. When I complain about not liking the way I look my family gives me looks of disgust, and then I feel guilty for not being happy with myself considering how unhappy they are. I can't help the fact that I don't like the way I look and feel, but I feel like I have no support from my family. I feel like I have no right to be upset with myself. My mother never seems to put me down. She always says she'll go to the gym with me, and that we'll start getting better food in the house. (We do have to rely on Foodstamp assistance [DSS], which has to feed a 6 person family, so when grocery shopping it's become routine to buy quantity before quality.) But these things never happen. And then when I mention it again I can see a sadness in her because she knows she is not trying. She wants to feel good about herself, but she doesn't know how. And so then I don't want to bring these things up with her because I don't want to see that pain in her eyes. How do I handle this situation? Am I wrong for being unhappy with myself, given my situation? How can I help my family to be healthy without making them feel bad?

--I'm sorry if this "Introduction" is kind of all over the place. It's just that I feel that these are the things that hold me back from a healthier lifestyle, and I appreciate any and all advice.

glovepuppet

don't complain to other people about how you look. honestly, there's no correct response for them to make and it's hellishly awkward to listen to. it usually works better if you make positive statements like, ''you're going shopping? i know it's weird but i've got a real craving for salad today, if it'll fit into the budget.'' will work better than ''you never get anything healthy!''

even if you can't affort the healthiest food, if you eat fewer cals you'll still lose weight.

zoodocgirl

My mom and I like to walk together. It's cheaper than the gym, we can find a comfortable pace for both of us, and it's nice chatting time. Perhaps you could get your mom, or even more of your family, out for walks after dinner or some other time that works for you. The gym can be intimidating. You don't even have to start out power walking. Just walk. You can work up once everyone's comfortable.

Being on a limited food budget can be difficult, but have you really evaluated if what you're getting is truly the best nutrition/price value? Fresh food is almost always cheaper than packaged food although it may not seem so at first glance. If you are spending some of that money on snacky packaged things, you could switch that budget over to fruits and veggies (cabbage in particular seems to multiply once you start shredding it!!).

There are some good web resources for eating healthy on an assisted budget:
http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/healthy-eating/clean-and-healthy-eating-on-food-stamps/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/14/how-to-eat-well-on-6888-a_n_537355.html
http://www.snaptohealth.org/snap/for-snap-users/

Best of luck to you!

Gidzmo

The only person you can change is you. You cannot do much for the others.... Walking requirement little in equipment (just a sturdy pair of shoes and a safe route. No memberships required.