Binges, Depression, & Weight Gain Physical Side Effects

mtpizzo

I find this app very helpful however there are days when I have a binge and I'm too ashamed and afraid to log it all because I don't want to know how many extra calories will be staring back at me from my phone... I tried making my food public to make me feel accountable to log on those types of days, but it has the opposite effect. I end up being ashamed to log and then I fall off the bandwagon for a few days or weeks out of temporary depression over my situation... it's bad. I'm heavier now than I've ever been and I feel like I have no self control. Everyone gives me great ideas on how to succeed but I feel like I'm always in my own way. I overindulge because my body feels the need for the junk food. This year I notice now more than ever that my body is at its limit... my feet hurt, my joints like my knees and ankles hurt... I need to be consistent but I can't really find enough motivation to continue soldiering on for longer than a week or two without getting frustrated. I have 100 pounds to lose and I'm overwhelmed. Any kind words of advise would be appreciated.

itsbasschick

i find if i'm happier or engaged in something i like or love to do, i don't binge eat. when i'm having a frustrating time or things really suck, that's when i go for the extra calories - it soothes me, but it also makes me heavier, which makes me less happy and more frustrated and i end up stuck in a vicious cycle.

is there something you can do to satisfy yourself?

mtpizzo

I feel like I am pretty satisfied with my life in general aside from the weight loss... I think I just eat pretty fast. Before I know it I've got a stomachache and am so bloated. Sometimes I get emotional with eating but it's more of a cultural problem for me and also a matter of convenience. If I don't pack something to eat for work, I spend on something that isn't quite as healthy, for example, or I'll get so ravenous from waiting to eat that I overeat... I am unfortunately also addicted to sugar. Also, my family and friends enjoy centering social events around food. My issue is portion control and learning and accepting when to stop eating and not allowing my inner child with its stomping feet and screaming to have its way.

vanessa40

Wow..you sound just like me..i wish i had more time to write..just wanted to say hi..i will star this discussion so i can come back later and write more..i will add you as a friend too..we can keep each other accountable..ok

vanessa40

i tried adding you as a friend but there seems to be something wrong at the moment..will try again later

mtpizzo

Thanks Vanessa ^_^

BadAssAries

I don't know for certain but I would bet good money that more people (on this site) feel this way than you think! I certainly understand. I feel this way sometimes. I can only say what is working for me (at the moment) is cooking every single one of my meals. When I cook, I give as much thought & importance to nutrition as I do to flavor (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE food). And it feels good! Some days I go over my calorie allotment but this is a lifestyle change, it's going to take time. Don't feel ashamed! I have found nothing but support on this site. Feel free to add me if you'd like

loobe1066

I totally get where you are coming from and also have 100lbs to lose.
It is hard not to beat yourself up when you fall off the band wagon but you need to be kind to yourself accept you are human and make mistakes try to draw a line under it and start again at the next meal.

dutchandkiwi

I think we to an extend all understand. When it is a scheduled over I am quite OK with loggin everything but when it is not scheduled (not happening often anymore) it is a case of shame and huge embgarassement. I don't want to log either, but the reality it is MY diary and therefore it has to be and honest account of me to me. I feel for me it was akin to an ostritch attitude to food eaten. It is still eaten, no matter if it is logged or not.
For me personally the change was that I realised with not writing it down I was lying to myself and if I can't be honest to myself how an I look myself in the eye and make peace with me?

Was it easy to get to that point? No but since I turned that corner my logging has become tighter and as said less times over and my weight journey became easier as I no longer meat myself up about it.

nursecasg

I know for myself that I have committed to the process. I was on mfp years ago and lost all of my excess weight. fast forward years later and I am back with more to lose. However, the commonality of both times is that I made the commitment to log every single thing. The good, the bad and the ugly. I know there will be days and times when I go over calories. Just knowing that I made that commitment leads me to log it. This process works. I know it. Trust in it..

the_great_unknown

Do this for you. No one should be judging you on bad days. When you log everything, you can go back and see your historical progress. For the past couple of months, I have not made any progress, so I looked at my old diary entries to see how many calories I was eating at my most successful and to look for meal ideas I might have forgotten.

Cheesy567

The podcast "HalfSizeMe" really helped me re-frame binge eating behaviors. No need to be ashamed or afraid of it. Recognizing the maladaptive patterns that occur are the first step in a meaningful change in habits. Good job recognizing this pattern, and reaching out for support!

The book "Brain Over Binge" might be one that helps you, too.

alpine_dog

As someone above said, this is not uncommon. I've the same issues. What has helped me in the past, and is helping now, is looking at the diary as a weekly, rather than daily, set of numbers. If you are still having a good overall week, even with the overages for a given day plugged in, it helps to see the bigger picture and may help keep you from getting derailed from one bad day. Another option is keep your diary private for awhile, if that helps you use it more, nothing wrong with that. I did that for a long time and it helped get me really into the habit of daily tracking, no matter what. Then when I was ready, I made it public as I eventually found that more helpful for different reasons.

UnicornAmandaPanda

Start today, girl! I like looking on pinterest for fitness inspiration when im feeling less than motivated lol. I have lost 50 lbs and need to lose another 30 before im at my goal. Add me if you'd like.

I just try tell myself that yea it would be nice to be able to eat whatever i want whenever i want to without having to worry about my weight but the truth is- i cant. But i can eat whatever i want but just have to practice moderation and portion control. You can do it! Start today.. Log consistently and get some exercise in every day. Start small by doing just 20 mins a day five days a week.. A walk, yoga video on YouTube, etc. Try meditation when you are struggling.. I love the guided meditation videos on YouTube too. The days will go by regardless if we eat well and exercise but how we feel in the future depends on how we treat our bodies today! Here if you need me!

mtpizzo

dutchandkiwi wrote: »

I think we to an extend all understand. When it is a scheduled over I am quite OK with loggin everything but when it is not scheduled (not happening often anymore) it is a case of shame and huge embgarassement. I don't want to log either, but the reality it is MY diary and therefore it has to be and honest account of me to me. I feel for me it was akin to an ostritch attitude to food eaten. It is still eaten, no matter if it is logged or not.
For me personally the change was that I realised with not writing it down I was lying to myself and if I can't be honest to myself how an I look myself in the eye and make peace with me?

Was it easy to get to that point? No but since I turned that corner my logging has become tighter and as said less times over and my weight journey became easier as I no longer meat myself up about it.

WOW. This makes such sense and definitely hits home. Thanks so much for describing it because I couldn't really put it into words but now I see when I do that I'm basically self sabotaging. Sure, it's embarrassing to log a binge... but in the end, the worst that can happen is my friends look at it and raise their eyebrows. Who cares. They're my friends. We all have bad days. Not saying it's permissible to binge every day, but it makes the idea of having one less painful and easier to bounce back from. Thanks again!

mtpizzo

the_great_unknown wrote: »

Do this for you. No one should be judging you on bad days. When you log everything, you can go back and see your historical progress. For the past couple of months, I have not made any progress, so I looked at my old diary entries to see how many calories I was eating at my most successful and to look for meal ideas I might have forgotten.

Good idea... you're right... if I avoid logging from shame, I cannot examine my errors and learn from them properly.

mtpizzo

alpine_dog wrote: »

As someone above said, this is not uncommon. I've the same issues. What has helped me in the past, and is helping now, is looking at the diary as a weekly, rather than daily, set of numbers. If you are still having a good overall week, even with the overages for a given day plugged in, it helps to see the bigger picture and may help keep you from getting derailed from one bad day. Another option is keep your diary private for awhile, if that helps you use it more, nothing wrong with that. I did that for a long time and it helped get me really into the habit of daily tracking, no matter what. Then when I was ready, I made it public as I eventually found that more helpful for different reasons.

Hmmmm this is a good idea too...looking at the week as a whole. I might make the diary private if I have a binge within the next month or something. Hopefully it won't come to that though.