I need help. I need confidence. I need change.

WordWhisperer

I suggest you not do anything at all that feels like "cutting out" or "eliminating" at the very beginning. The time will come when you have experienced some little victories that motivate you to view cutting out / eliminating as a good thing, but that time is not right now. Right now, these things are your comfort and you're not ready to let them go.

When you ARE ready, you'll know it. You'll feel it. You will realize your entire brain has been rewired.

For now, do not forbid yourself any foods. Actually, never forbid them. They are always allowed. It's just that over time, you will desire them less.

I also suggest you not aim for a number of minutes of movement. For someone at your stage of the journey, even two minutes can seem insurmountable and extremely unpleasant.

This is not (yet) about willpower, determination, getting down to business, whatever. This needs to first be about building success, and reprogramming your brain to desire the changes you will eventually add.

Believe me, the fast food you love right now will, if you give it enough time and yourself enough little victories, eventually be something you willingly choose to replace with something better.

In order to get to that point, I suggest you only ADD good things. Begin with a fitness tracker. Don't change anything about your life, just wear it. Make note of that number of steps at the end of the day. Whatever it is... stretch for ten more the next day. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.

What you will find is that it turns into a game that you enjoy - besting your own records, outstepping your past self. And the funny thing about this game is, it makes you want to play it harder, faster, better. Suddenly you're not trying to best yourself by ten steps a day; you've learned you can go 100 more! And so on, and so on.

And then you'll notice that the more steps you take, the more calories you get to eat. Yay!

Also add food tracking on MFP. Don't view it as a negative thing. It's a good thing. You can enter any food you like in there. It won't judge you. Enter it, and analyze the information it gives you. That's all. View the information you gain as enlightenment, not judging. They are just numbers.

But you might find, once you understand the numbers, that you're willing to swap out a large soda for a medium one so you can have the larger fries. Or whatever.

The fitness tracker and MFP, they're both about giving you information, which is empowering. When you know how many steps you take without trying, then you can choose to take a few more. When you know how many calories you're consuming, you can choose to make some swaps in order to enjoy more of the things you love.

Salads and workouts per week and buckling down and all the rest, they're all wonderful. But you're not to that part of your journey yet. Respect where you are, treat yourself with love and kindness, and just focus on adding good things to your life for this one day. You may find you desire more of these good things each day, and wow, wouldn't that be a different way of looking at losing weight?

It's not about what you're losing. It's about what you're gaining.

vczK2t

BlyRidge wrote: »

........Question is, what have you used as a rally cry? (I want to be able to walk up stairs without huffing and puffing) I have hot rock bottom, but that doesn't seem to by lighting my fire. What did you do? (I take it one day at a time, heck one meal/snack at a time) How did you spark the powder keg and make it happen? (Honestly, i am learning to listen to my body. If i am not hungry/thirsty, i don't indulge. i know, easier said than done. i don't restrict anything from my eating plan. if i want fast food, i figure out how i can make it healthier.) I know I CAN do it, because I HAVE done it, and been as low as 330 a few years back.

You can and will do it. you just need to figure out what works for you. seriously, take it one day and meal at a time. make the healthiest choice for that meal/snack ONLY. then when you get to the next meal/snack, make the healthiest choice for that one. walk a couple blocks each day, if that's what you can handle. do you have a dog, or does your neighbor have a dog? take him/her on a couple walks each day. 15 minutes each. whatever healthy choices you can make and stick with for that day, do it.

I also wanted to let you know that i have friends, co-workers, and a supportive husband. My husband doesn't understand what i am going through, but he listens and helps out the best he can.
Do you have any friends or family that support you? can you ask them to help you make better decisions?

Ck103084

This might sound strange but have you checked your Vitamin D levels? I was tired and didn't feel like doing anything for awhile. I went to the dr for a blood test and my D levels were so low. Now I monitor my D intake and so far I've had a lot more energy. Good luck!!

tryett

Ck103084 wrote: »

This might sound strange but have you checked your Vitamin D levels? I was tired and didn't feel like doing anything for awhile. I went to the dr for a blood test and my D levels were so low. Now I monitor my D intake and so far I've had a lot more energy. Good luck!!

My level was 9 a few years ago. Tired, aches and pains. I thought I was just getting old. Boy was it a surprise how much better even getting to the low end of normal was.

Cheesy567

Your initial post strikes me as someone who is a "numbers and patterns" person. Use that to your advantage. Log into MFP accurately (buy a kitchen scale on Amazon-- my Ozeri brand has served me well). Look up the nutritional values of the fast-food on their websites. Look for patterns that you can change (for example, are you getting enough protein? You probably need around 150-200 gm per day (0.8- 1.2 gm per pound of lean body mass) to feel satiated, and it's hard to get that much).

Invest in a step-counter. I've found that the Fitbit One is accurate for me when I clip it on my pocket. Other pedometers are at inaccurate angles on my frame and overestimate steps, as do the wrist-band ones. See how many steps you average, and set a goal to increase that by 5%... You can do that by walking laps in your house, you don't need to join a gym or go outside if you don't want to yet.

Know that you can do it. Listen to inspiring stories (podcasts like HalfSize Me, and Tips of the Scale, interview many long-term weight losers and maintainers).

No judgement, but no excuses, either. Focus on what you *can* do to reach your goals.

Jams009

Often the hardest part is starting. Just do it, man... you can do it, so do it. Weigh and log your food, find some form of exercise that you enjoy and look forward to; it doesn't matter what it is.

Pretty soon you'll get some momentum going and it gets a little bit easier. Then it's all down to discipline and determination to get you through any tough times.

You have to make the decision, start, and stick to it. Make it permanent, make it normal.

PBWaffleCakes

I started having anxiety about dying in my sleep because I knew, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Then one nigh in the middle of this horrible anxiety attack (caused both by a recent split and yet again laying there wondering if this was my last night) I knew I could change this. This was the one thing in my life I could prevent. I couldn't prevent getting hit by a car but I could prevent my death from being obese. So the first of the year in 2014 I started and stuck to it.

daniellek30

It's hard to start - it really is, but when you do it's worth it. My 'rally cry', I guess, was my health. I carry my weight on my midsection which poses multiple health problems.

First, my weight pulled at my spine, causing nerve issues in my right leg, and my arms.

Second, I have a history of heart problems and diabetes in my family, so taking that cushion away from my midsection NEEDED to happen.

Third, I have fibromyalgia, and the best advice my doctor gave me was to work out CONSISTENTLY.

I'm still in progress, I still have my belly, but I feel better (most days) and it's easier to do it when you understand the health risks instead of just doing it to 'look good'. (For me, anyway.)

caammph

When I weighed almost 320, my first step was to walk for the mail every day. It's only about 80 meters there and back but it was a start. It was such a small change it was almost insignificant. I've lost over 100 pounds, one small change at a time. There have been setbacks along the way, but I just keep on moving forward and never looking back.

ivygirl1937

WordWhisperer wrote: »

I suggest you not do anything at all that feels like "cutting out" or "eliminating" at the very beginning. The time will come when you have experienced some little victories that motivate you to view cutting out / eliminating as a good thing, but that time is not right now. Right now, these things are your comfort and you're not ready to let them go.

When you ARE ready, you'll know it. You'll feel it. You will realize your entire brain has been rewired.

For now, do not forbid yourself any foods. Actually, never forbid them. They are always allowed. It's just that over time, you will desire them less.

I also suggest you not aim for a number of minutes of movement. For someone at your stage of the journey, even two minutes can seem insurmountable and extremely unpleasant.

This is not (yet) about willpower, determination, getting down to business, whatever. This needs to first be about building success, and reprogramming your brain to desire the changes you will eventually add.

Believe me, the fast food you love right now will, if you give it enough time and yourself enough little victories, eventually be something you willingly choose to replace with something better.

In order to get to that point, I suggest you only ADD good things. Begin with a fitness tracker. Don't change anything about your life, just wear it. Make note of that number of steps at the end of the day. Whatever it is... stretch for ten more the next day. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.

What you will find is that it turns into a game that you enjoy - besting your own records, outstepping your past self. And the funny thing about this game is, it makes you want to play it harder, faster, better. Suddenly you're not trying to best yourself by ten steps a day; you've learned you can go 100 more! And so on, and so on.

And then you'll notice that the more steps you take, the more calories you get to eat. Yay!

Also add food tracking on MFP. Don't view it as a negative thing. It's a good thing. You can enter any food you like in there. It won't judge you. Enter it, and analyze the information it gives you. That's all. View the information you gain as enlightenment, not judging. They are just numbers.

But you might find, once you understand the numbers, that you're willing to swap out a large soda for a medium one so you can have the larger fries. Or whatever.

The fitness tracker and MFP, they're both about giving you information, which is empowering. When you know how many steps you take without trying, then you can choose to take a few more. When you know how many calories you're consuming, you can choose to make some swaps in order to enjoy more of the things you love.

Salads and workouts per week and buckling down and all the rest, they're all wonderful. But you're not to that part of your journey yet. Respect where you are, treat yourself with love and kindness, and just focus on adding good things to your life for this one day. You may find you desire more of these good things each day, and wow, wouldn't that be a different way of looking at losing weight?

It's not about what you're losing. It's about what you're gaining.

From someone who has been where you are mentally, this. A thousand times, this.

vivmom2014

There was an old sales maxim in a seminar my husband attended at New York Life a hundred years ago, but it's stayed with me: The mind attracts what it dwells on.

I agree with the suggestions to change your self talk. And I will add: start speaking positive things out loud. Who cares how it looks or feels? This entire adventure of weight loss starts with your mental outlook. Change your mind, change your life.

billglitch

BlyRidge wrote: »

March 1st- 391.4
March 31st- 397.6

April 1st-398.4
April 30th-402.2

May 1st- 400.4
May 31st- 406.4

This is how my last 3 months have gone. The sad thing, is somewhere in March, I was at 388. I can't get away from fast food. I can't get off of my butt and get up to work out. Not even take a walk. It is disappointing and frustrating. I know the way people look at me. Hell, I look at myself that way. Question is, what have you used as a rally cry? I have hot rock bottom, but that doesn't seem to by lighting my fire. What did you do? How did you spark the powder keg and make it happen? I know I CAN do it, because I HAVE done it, and been as low as 330 a few years back.

I was 355 and in 19 weeks I am down to 290. My goal is 220 by Christmas this year. This is what I did. I went to low carb eating. Look into it. I dont think there is any magic but proteins and fats are more satisfying. They stick with you longer than carbs. I also started eating a bit less in calories than MFP suggested. I am rarely hungry. I have stopped at McDs, BK and Wendys from time to time. I get a sandwich and throw away the bread/roll. Check out lowcarb island and do a google for low carb diets or low carb recipes.

dj_struggles

Ok my thoughts may vary from others, but I'll throw it into the mix....

1. Don't worry about getting off of your butt, just yet, if that's not something your motivated to do. When you drop some pounds, it will inspire you to take the next step.

2. Fill a gallon jug with water and put it in your fridge. Make sure you drink at least a gallon of water every day. The water will help your metabolism, fill your stomach leaving less room for food, and force you to walk (to the bathroom) regularly!

3. With eating, you can still have FF for now, just make healthier choices. Remove the bread from the burger, add a salad, skip the fries (or at least commit to limiting your intake of them).

4. Stop drinking soda, even diet soda, at least for the time being.

5. Remind yourself you didn't put the weight on overnight and it won't come off overnight.

6. If possible, surround yourself with people who are already fit (who have won the battle). Their support can make a huge difference. (you have a whole forum of support here )

7. Be kind to yourself. Put motivational signs around the house and read them, OUTLOUD, every time you pass one. It retrains your brain and builds self confidence, self confidence leads to results. (I had them on my front door, my fridge, the mirror in the bathroom, etc.)


Do that for a couple of weeks. Then, set smart, attainable goals (baby steps) for the next 2-3 weeks (like cut sugar, cut flour, cut bread and pasta)... add new goals each 2-3 weeks until you see the results you want.


I hope that helps. Every person is different, and you'll likely need to find what works best for you.

RoxieDawn

OP, by chance have you been to the Doctor for a yearly check up or blood work done? I think sitting down and talking with your doctor would definitely help you with a call to action..

You could have perfect blood work , but hearing about your need to get out of the 400's from your doctor would definitely be a call to action for me. And then while your in the doctor's office it is a perfect time to ask him/her for a referral to a dietician or someone in the professional field to help you with your food issues such as the needless and mindless trips to eat fast food, and you simply no longer want to go for a simple walk, etc.. these are not just foods issues there is something preventing you from getting to the better version of your self.. Need to find what that is.

This may be bigger than you and you may just need an extra edge . nothing wrong with saying a problem is much bigger than you can handle..

MRBDDB

I've enjoyed reading all these positive inspiring comments. Really spoke to me, OP I hope it does you too. A lot of great advice here I think we can all stand to use.