I need help. I need confidence. I need change.
Options
Replies
-
As others have noted, it is your mindset that will determine your success going forward.
I've found that motivation comes and goes, so I believe you are deluding yourself if you hope to rely on an emotional rally to drive long term results. It's like holding your breath - you can't do it forever.
Success comes when you've really made a DECISION to change. When that happens, whatever happened yesterday becomes irrelevant. Through good days and bad days, nothing changes your decision that you are NOT going back to where you were before. Eventually, this mindset drives behaviors that bring positive results both on the scale and in your approach to every day life. It isn't easy, but it gets easier over time. Eventually, this new healthy lifestyle becomes WHO YOU ARE.
Finally, as others have said, start with small changes and set some short term goals. A few small victories will boost your confidence. Make a simple eating plan for the next few days and execute it. I think you will feel better just by having a plan. Good luck to you.3 -
You can do this and your worth doing it!!!!
I got a tracker....if I had to guess I would have thought I put in 10000 steps a day....nope 3500 hitting 5000 almost killed me lol I keep increasing and increasing...no I get moody if I don't get out for my walks.
Find something you like and do what you can...don't worry about what you can't do celebrate what you can and keep adding to it.
I hope you find your inner strength!!1 -
Hey there. I completely understand. I've just started my journey as well. In January 2015 after giving birth to my third child I was heavier than I have ever been. I lost some weight but about 2 months ago I decided I had enough and I need to do something. Please feel free to add me. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and remember to take it a day at a time.0
-
Hey Man. I'm sort of in the same boat. I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time. I gained like 40 lbs within a few months. I was 420 at my heaviest two months ago and I'm at 400 right now.The first thing I did was go to the doctor for a checkup. He actually diagnosed me with depression and put me on a medication for it. The medication he prescribed has not only helped improve my mood but also has a side effect of weight loss. My Doctor also sent me to a nutritionist. She gave me a lot of helpful tips when it comes to fast food.
Things like: getting a grilled chicken sandwich/wrap instead of burgers
- using bbq sauce vs other condiments
- getting a side salad instead of fries and asking for an extra chicken breast to put on the salad to fill me up more - avoiding creamy dressings.
Just small changes like that have really helped me.1 -
Just stick in. In January the most demotivating thing was to look at my weight and think about how much I have to lose. For me it was being in the right mindset, I bought a fitbit and started logging everything in myfitnesspal app and going to the gym. I've lost around 26lbs this year doing this. You have to do it for yourself and not to change what the perceived judgment of others might be.0
-
Nothing is easy. Pain is temporary until you quit. Focus on demolishing one pound a month. Don't over complicate. Be the change in others' lives. Focus. Use diligence. Have an encouraging voice. Be a light.0
-
Small changes can produce big results. Discipline, and not Desire, determines your Destiny. You can do this.
Baby steps.
1. start by logging your food. Find out how much your eating.
2. On your MFP profile shoot for a modest loss of 1lb a week
3. Try to get the calories you are consuming to match the calories on the app.
4. Exercise adds to your available calories. When I started this 5 weeks ago, I could barely do 10 minutes on my treadmill, today I can do 60+.
Baby steps will lead to great things.1 -
My latest was a couple weeks ago I noticed I was just generally not feeling well. I had given up on losing weight a year or so ago when I hit a hard plateau. I knew it was coming I never had been able to break that weight. But when I started not feeling well I knew right away it was because I was not watching what I ate. Soooo I decided to track again. I have of course gained all the weight I lost back (fortunately not more) and hope to break that plateau this time. Tracking keeps me honest. Trying to meet some of my macros helps me tremendously. Tracking and getting the eating right first for me, I Also have cut my Diet Coke obsession down to one 20 oz bottle a day, which amazed me at how easy that was to do. I have a step tracker on my phone which isn't entirely accurate for me as I tend to leave it on the desk at work or the table at home ( but I don't eat those calories anyway). Next will be getting back to the gym, it has been over 1 1/2 years since I went. For me it's adding one thing at a time. I am also trying to build my support network so feel free to add me as a friend.1
-
I like all that was said above. Especially the part about baby steps. I was at my rock bottom also and I am trying desperately to put my life together. It is daunting but it is also beautiful at the same time. I can do one small thing today to make my life better than yesterday. Baby steps for sure. I wish you the best of luck, you know you can do this!!0
-
I struggle with getting coffee from anyplace that has coffee. I find myself going to McDonalds after work at 10 pm and getting a iced coffee. How did I cut that? I decided I needed to do something for me. I'm only 20 and doctors have talked about putting me on blood pressure mess. I have goals of having kids one day, and watching them grow up. But at the weight I am having kids would be a struggle. If you want to change your lifestyle, and lose weight then you have to do it for you. Feel free to add me!0
-
I suggest you not do anything at all that feels like "cutting out" or "eliminating" at the very beginning. The time will come when you have experienced some little victories that motivate you to view cutting out / eliminating as a good thing, but that time is not right now. Right now, these things are your comfort and you're not ready to let them go.
When you ARE ready, you'll know it. You'll feel it. You will realize your entire brain has been rewired.
For now, do not forbid yourself any foods. Actually, never forbid them. They are always allowed. It's just that over time, you will desire them less.
I also suggest you not aim for a number of minutes of movement. For someone at your stage of the journey, even two minutes can seem insurmountable and extremely unpleasant.
This is not (yet) about willpower, determination, getting down to business, whatever. This needs to first be about building success, and reprogramming your brain to desire the changes you will eventually add.
Believe me, the fast food you love right now will, if you give it enough time and yourself enough little victories, eventually be something you willingly choose to replace with something better.
In order to get to that point, I suggest you only ADD good things. Begin with a fitness tracker. Don't change anything about your life, just wear it. Make note of that number of steps at the end of the day. Whatever it is... stretch for ten more the next day. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.
What you will find is that it turns into a game that you enjoy - besting your own records, outstepping your past self. And the funny thing about this game is, it makes you want to play it harder, faster, better. Suddenly you're not trying to best yourself by ten steps a day; you've learned you can go 100 more! And so on, and so on.
And then you'll notice that the more steps you take, the more calories you get to eat. Yay!
Also add food tracking on MFP. Don't view it as a negative thing. It's a good thing. You can enter any food you like in there. It won't judge you. Enter it, and analyze the information it gives you. That's all. View the information you gain as enlightenment, not judging. They are just numbers.
But you might find, once you understand the numbers, that you're willing to swap out a large soda for a medium one so you can have the larger fries. Or whatever.
The fitness tracker and MFP, they're both about giving you information, which is empowering. When you know how many steps you take without trying, then you can choose to take a few more. When you know how many calories you're consuming, you can choose to make some swaps in order to enjoy more of the things you love.
Salads and workouts per week and buckling down and all the rest, they're all wonderful. But you're not to that part of your journey yet. Respect where you are, treat yourself with love and kindness, and just focus on adding good things to your life for this one day. You may find you desire more of these good things each day, and wow, wouldn't that be a different way of looking at losing weight?
It's not about what you're losing. It's about what you're gaining.
8 -
........Question is, what have you used as a rally cry? (I want to be able to walk up stairs without huffing and puffing) I have hot rock bottom, but that doesn't seem to by lighting my fire. What did you do? (I take it one day at a time, heck one meal/snack at a time) How did you spark the powder keg and make it happen? (Honestly, i am learning to listen to my body. If i am not hungry/thirsty, i don't indulge. i know, easier said than done. i don't restrict anything from my eating plan. if i want fast food, i figure out how i can make it healthier.) I know I CAN do it, because I HAVE done it, and been as low as 330 a few years back.
You can and will do it. you just need to figure out what works for you. seriously, take it one day and meal at a time. make the healthiest choice for that meal/snack ONLY. then when you get to the next meal/snack, make the healthiest choice for that one. walk a couple blocks each day, if that's what you can handle. do you have a dog, or does your neighbor have a dog? take him/her on a couple walks each day. 15 minutes each. whatever healthy choices you can make and stick with for that day, do it.
I also wanted to let you know that i have friends, co-workers, and a supportive husband. My husband doesn't understand what i am going through, but he listens and helps out the best he can.
Do you have any friends or family that support you? can you ask them to help you make better decisions?0 -
This might sound strange but have you checked your Vitamin D levels? I was tired and didn't feel like doing anything for awhile. I went to the dr for a blood test and my D levels were so low. Now I monitor my D intake and so far I've had a lot more energy. Good luck!!
0 -
This might sound strange but have you checked your Vitamin D levels? I was tired and didn't feel like doing anything for awhile. I went to the dr for a blood test and my D levels were so low. Now I monitor my D intake and so far I've had a lot more energy. Good luck!!
My level was 9 a few years ago. Tired, aches and pains. I thought I was just getting old. Boy was it a surprise how much better even getting to the low end of normal was.0 -
Your initial post strikes me as someone who is a "numbers and patterns" person. Use that to your advantage. Log into MFP accurately (buy a kitchen scale on Amazon-- my Ozeri brand has served me well). Look up the nutritional values of the fast-food on their websites. Look for patterns that you can change (for example, are you getting enough protein? You probably need around 150-200 gm per day (0.8- 1.2 gm per pound of lean body mass) to feel satiated, and it's hard to get that much).
Invest in a step-counter. I've found that the Fitbit One is accurate for me when I clip it on my pocket. Other pedometers are at inaccurate angles on my frame and overestimate steps, as do the wrist-band ones. See how many steps you average, and set a goal to increase that by 5%... You can do that by walking laps in your house, you don't need to join a gym or go outside if you don't want to yet.
Know that you can do it. Listen to inspiring stories (podcasts like HalfSize Me, and Tips of the Scale, interview many long-term weight losers and maintainers).
No judgement, but no excuses, either. Focus on what you *can* do to reach your goals.0 -
Often the hardest part is starting. Just do it, man... you can do it, so do it. Weigh and log your food, find some form of exercise that you enjoy and look forward to; it doesn't matter what it is.
Pretty soon you'll get some momentum going and it gets a little bit easier. Then it's all down to discipline and determination to get you through any tough times.
You have to make the decision, start, and stick to it. Make it permanent, make it normal.2 -
I started having anxiety about dying in my sleep because I knew, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Then one nigh in the middle of this horrible anxiety attack (caused both by a recent split and yet again laying there wondering if this was my last night) I knew I could change this. This was the one thing in my life I could prevent. I couldn't prevent getting hit by a car but I could prevent my death from being obese. So the first of the year in 2014 I started and stuck to it.2
-
It's hard to start - it really is, but when you do it's worth it. My 'rally cry', I guess, was my health. I carry my weight on my midsection which poses multiple health problems.
First, my weight pulled at my spine, causing nerve issues in my right leg, and my arms.
Second, I have a history of heart problems and diabetes in my family, so taking that cushion away from my midsection NEEDED to happen.
Third, I have fibromyalgia, and the best advice my doctor gave me was to work out CONSISTENTLY.
I'm still in progress, I still have my belly, but I feel better (most days) and it's easier to do it when you understand the health risks instead of just doing it to 'look good'. (For me, anyway.)0 -
When I weighed almost 320, my first step was to walk for the mail every day. It's only about 80 meters there and back but it was a start. It was such a small change it was almost insignificant. I've lost over 100 pounds, one small change at a time. There have been setbacks along the way, but I just keep on moving forward and never looking back.4
-
WordWhisperer wrote: »I suggest you not do anything at all that feels like "cutting out" or "eliminating" at the very beginning. The time will come when you have experienced some little victories that motivate you to view cutting out / eliminating as a good thing, but that time is not right now. Right now, these things are your comfort and you're not ready to let them go.
When you ARE ready, you'll know it. You'll feel it. You will realize your entire brain has been rewired.
For now, do not forbid yourself any foods. Actually, never forbid them. They are always allowed. It's just that over time, you will desire them less.
I also suggest you not aim for a number of minutes of movement. For someone at your stage of the journey, even two minutes can seem insurmountable and extremely unpleasant.
This is not (yet) about willpower, determination, getting down to business, whatever. This needs to first be about building success, and reprogramming your brain to desire the changes you will eventually add.
Believe me, the fast food you love right now will, if you give it enough time and yourself enough little victories, eventually be something you willingly choose to replace with something better.
In order to get to that point, I suggest you only ADD good things. Begin with a fitness tracker. Don't change anything about your life, just wear it. Make note of that number of steps at the end of the day. Whatever it is... stretch for ten more the next day. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.
What you will find is that it turns into a game that you enjoy - besting your own records, outstepping your past self. And the funny thing about this game is, it makes you want to play it harder, faster, better. Suddenly you're not trying to best yourself by ten steps a day; you've learned you can go 100 more! And so on, and so on.
And then you'll notice that the more steps you take, the more calories you get to eat. Yay!
Also add food tracking on MFP. Don't view it as a negative thing. It's a good thing. You can enter any food you like in there. It won't judge you. Enter it, and analyze the information it gives you. That's all. View the information you gain as enlightenment, not judging. They are just numbers.
But you might find, once you understand the numbers, that you're willing to swap out a large soda for a medium one so you can have the larger fries. Or whatever.
The fitness tracker and MFP, they're both about giving you information, which is empowering. When you know how many steps you take without trying, then you can choose to take a few more. When you know how many calories you're consuming, you can choose to make some swaps in order to enjoy more of the things you love.
Salads and workouts per week and buckling down and all the rest, they're all wonderful. But you're not to that part of your journey yet. Respect where you are, treat yourself with love and kindness, and just focus on adding good things to your life for this one day. You may find you desire more of these good things each day, and wow, wouldn't that be a different way of looking at losing weight?
It's not about what you're losing. It's about what you're gaining.
From someone who has been where you are mentally, this. A thousand times, this.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 391 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 922 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions