Anti-binge buddy needed desperately!
SSB09040
Posts: 53 Member
Hi everyone.
I'm in desperate need of a buddy to chat/vent to in order to prevent myself from binging every 3-4 nights.
I'm not overweight because every time I do binge, I punish myself for the next 3-4 days on a low calorie/high exercise regime and try to maintain 1200-1400 calories daily to keep my weight at 121 pounds maximum.
But it's becoming increasingly exhausting and debilitating and I constantly berate and hate myself for it.
For instance, even now, I feel like making toasted cheese sandwiches even though it's my bedtime and I should resist.
I went to the fridge and got the bread and cheese out but then just shoved it back again because I know I will hate myself in the morning.
This is rare for me though and this site is helping me because I keep logging and tracking my food.
I don't actually feel hungry but perhaps just craving.
I'd love to have an instant "Don't Do It!" line like there are available for giving up smoking and alcohol etc.
If anyone feels the need for this, please contact me.
I have lots of free time (too much sometimes) and am available and a very fast typist.
I'm in desperate need of a buddy to chat/vent to in order to prevent myself from binging every 3-4 nights.
I'm not overweight because every time I do binge, I punish myself for the next 3-4 days on a low calorie/high exercise regime and try to maintain 1200-1400 calories daily to keep my weight at 121 pounds maximum.
But it's becoming increasingly exhausting and debilitating and I constantly berate and hate myself for it.
For instance, even now, I feel like making toasted cheese sandwiches even though it's my bedtime and I should resist.
I went to the fridge and got the bread and cheese out but then just shoved it back again because I know I will hate myself in the morning.
This is rare for me though and this site is helping me because I keep logging and tracking my food.
I don't actually feel hungry but perhaps just craving.
I'd love to have an instant "Don't Do It!" line like there are available for giving up smoking and alcohol etc.
If anyone feels the need for this, please contact me.
I have lots of free time (too much sometimes) and am available and a very fast typist.
2
Replies
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Feel free to add me, I am a once a month binger. I am not over weight but could some bodyfat. Started a meal plan today just to see if I can lose any weight or fat1
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You can add me. I'll help you if you help me. I struggle with binging as well1
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Thanks sstrack and Doit4
What kind of meal plan did you start sstrack? I wish I could just binge once only a month -- it's more like 12 times a month lately though!
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I used to binge like that. Did you ever read Geneen Roth's books? This helped me overcome my unhealthy relationship with food a couple of years ago. Feel free to add me.1
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When you aren't binging, are you eating what you want? Or are you starving yourself and only eating healthy stuff? I stay sane by slipping in a sweet or pizza here or there. Feel free to add me1
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I find eating all of my calories (maintenance calories, not restricted calories) every day helps ward off binging more than anything else. I have an Excel file that flags any day I go below 80% or above 120% of my 30 day rolling average intake. Maintenance for me is about 2,000 calories, and most of the time my average is close to that, so that gives me a range of 1600-2400 for normal variance.
A month with not more than 10% of days flagged is great; more than 30% is a problem, and I make extra effort to eat all of my calories every day, even if I am not hungry and don't want them, and without regard to what the days before looked like.
Excessive exercise is not an issue for me, but if I it were, I'd use net calories as my metric.
It takes some mindset adjustment to see the restrict days as being as bad as the binge days. Binge-and-restrict is a cycle, and they both contribute to it.0 -
I used to binge like that. Did you ever read Geneen Roth's books? This helped me overcome my unhealthy relationship with food a couple of years ago. Feel free to add me.
Hi ydyms, no I have never heard of Geneen Roth but I have just googled her and the Women Food and God book looks very interesting.
Thank you. 0 -
When you aren't binging, are you eating what you want? Or are you starving yourself and only eating healthy stuff? I stay sane by slipping in a sweet or pizza here or there. Feel free to add me
Hi sc487 - I kind of eat semi-what-I-want most days but limit myself to about 1400 calories (trying to maintain 121 lbs at 5'5"). I guess it's by the 3rd or 4th evening that I really want to binge because yes I have deprived myself of a lot of my favourite snacks like chips, cheese and crackers, chocolates, icecreams etc. However, just lately, I have been eating lots of grilled cheese sandwiches and cereals at night time too. It's like I'm desperately starving for carbs. Wondering if it's since I've started adding heavier weights to my workouts and making me hungrier.
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I find eating all of my calories (maintenance calories, not restricted calories) every day helps ward off binging more than anything else. I have an Excel file that flags any day I go below 80% or above 120% of my 30 day rolling average intake. Maintenance for me is about 2,000 calories, and most of the time my average is close to that, so that gives me a range of 1600-2400 for normal variance.
A month with not more than 10% of days flagged is great; more than 30% is a problem, and I make extra effort to eat all of my calories every day, even if I am not hungry and don't want them, and without regard to what the days before looked like.
Excessive exercise is not an issue for me, but if I it were, I'd use net calories as my metric.
It takes some mindset adjustment to see the restrict days as being as bad as the binge days. Binge-and-restrict is a cycle, and they both contribute to it.
You sound very disciplined and organised allyphoe! Perhaps I should try and record and flag my days too. This site is great as I feel obligated to enter every food I eat into it but it still doesn't stop me from overeating!
I can go all day and still be within my calorie limit and then have a big blowout at about 830 pm.
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You sound very disciplined and organised allyphoe! Perhaps I should try and record and flag my days too. This site is great as I feel obligated to enter every food I eat into it but it still doesn't stop me from overeating!
I can go all day and still be within my calorie limit and then have a big blowout at about 830 pm.
Hey there! I'm actually in the same exact boat. I can do great all day long and then I get home and I'm tired and I just mindlessly shove food in my face. It's been a constant struggle for me for what seems like ever. And like you I'm not over weight but over the years I feel like it's weighing on me, emotionally and physically.
Lately what's been working for me, and really I just mean the past few days, (the struggle is real) when I feel like bingeing I try to think of why I'm feeling that way, what emotions in feeling, what the outcome would be. I think of if I had to write it down or tell someone what I was feeling at that moment would I still want to binge? And by the time I'm finished with that my mind is else where... So if anything it's a distraction for the time being.
I'm new to the discussion boards, like you I'm just trying not to binge. Thanks for being here. Keep up the good work.
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I do log everything, but logging everything doesn't keep me from eating everything. It's not that eating all my calories on binge-y days helps; it's that eating all my calories on restrict-y days helps.
So you have 1400 calories for 3-4 low days, and how many on a high day?
I suspect that you would also have fewer binge days if your base weight were a bit higher. I'm an inch shorter than you, and at 121, I'm miserable and sick feeling. Just because the charts say it's a healthy weight doesn't mean your body feels good there.
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When you aren't binging, are you eating what you want? Or are you starving yourself and only eating healthy stuff? I stay sane by slipping in a sweet or pizza here or there. Feel free to add me
Hi sc487 - I kind of eat semi-what-I-want most days but limit myself to about 1400 calories (trying to maintain 121 lbs at 5'5"). I guess it's by the 3rd or 4th evening that I really want to binge because yes I have deprived myself of a lot of my favourite snacks like chips, cheese and crackers, chocolates, icecreams etc. However, just lately, I have been eating lots of grilled cheese sandwiches and cereals at night time too. It's like I'm desperately starving for carbs. Wondering if it's since I've started adding heavier weights to my workouts and making me hungrier.
If you're upping your weights, you may be upping your calorie burn, you may indeed be starving yourself (not an expert by any means). But it sounds like your body may be getting desperate for food by the 3rd or 4th day. Have you considered upping your calories to like 1600-1700 and maybe tossing in a 1/2 grilled cheese every night? May help your body stay satisfied instead of starving. I stop losing weight and get that starving feeling if I drop too low on my calories. There are calculators that you can plug in your stats and check out your calories needed to maintain. I don't know your age but for a 25 year old at 5'5" and 121 lbs exercising 3-5 times a week, you need 2264 calories per day. Even if you were sedentary and didn't work out you would need 1753
Hope this helps
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osocourtney wrote: »You sound very disciplined and organised allyphoe! Perhaps I should try and record and flag my days too. This site is great as I feel obligated to enter every food I eat into it but it still doesn't stop me from overeating!
I can go all day and still be within my calorie limit and then have a big blowout at about 830 pm.
Hey there! I'm actually in the same exact boat. I can do great all day long and then I get home and I'm tired and I just mindlessly shove food in my face. It's been a constant struggle for me for what seems like ever. And like you I'm not over weight but over the years I feel like it's weighing on me, emotionally and physically.
Lately what's been working for me, and really I just mean the past few days, (the struggle is real) when I feel like bingeing I try to think of why I'm feeling that way, what emotions in feeling, what the outcome would be. I think of if I had to write it down or tell someone what I was feeling at that moment would I still want to binge? And by the time I'm finished with that my mind is else where... So if anything it's a distraction for the time being.
I'm new to the discussion boards, like you I'm just trying not to binge. Thanks for being here. Keep up the good work.
Hi osocourtney and thank you for replying. I guess I don't really stop enough to think WHY I am wanting to binge -= it just seems like the right thing to do at the time because I am genuinely wanting to eat those foods. I would so love to be able to stop and analyse and discuss with someone and prevent it -- that is why I posted this thread -- so thank you for your input and I may now try to just post before binging and hopefully distract myself.
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I do log everything, but logging everything doesn't keep me from eating everything. It's not that eating all my calories on binge-y days helps; it's that eating all my calories on restrict-y days helps.
So you have 1400 calories for 3-4 low days, and how many on a high day?
I suspect that you would also have fewer binge days if your base weight were a bit higher. I'm an inch shorter than you, and at 121, I'm miserable and sick feeling. Just because the charts say it's a healthy weight doesn't mean your body feels good there.
I don't really account calories for a high day. I'm not sure about this.
I just want to stay at size Australian 6-8 which I think is American 4-6?
I know I could actually be a bit heavier according to the charts but 121 is my fighting weight and it's what I feel and look best at.
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add me as well im right there with ya all!
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Please feel free to add me. I've dealt with more than one body image/eating issue in the last 46 years. While I think I have them pretty much under control finally, I still have tough moments in the kitchen, and in front of the mirror. I'd love to help motivate you and help you if you need. Much love xo0
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When you aren't binging, are you eating what you want? Or are you starving yourself and only eating healthy stuff? I stay sane by slipping in a sweet or pizza here or there. Feel free to add me
Hi sc487 - I kind of eat semi-what-I-want most days but limit myself to about 1400 calories (trying to maintain 121 lbs at 5'5"). I guess it's by the 3rd or 4th evening that I really want to binge because yes I have deprived myself of a lot of my favourite snacks like chips, cheese and crackers, chocolates, icecreams etc. However, just lately, I have been eating lots of grilled cheese sandwiches and cereals at night time too. It's like I'm desperately starving for carbs. Wondering if it's since I've started adding heavier weights to my workouts and making me hungrier.
If you're upping your weights, you may be upping your calorie burn, you may indeed be starving yourself (not an expert by any means). But it sounds like your body may be getting desperate for food by the 3rd or 4th day. Have you considered upping your calories to like 1600-1700 and maybe tossing in a 1/2 grilled cheese every night? May help your body stay satisfied instead of starving. I stop losing weight and get that starving feeling if I drop too low on my calories. There are calculators that you can plug in your stats and check out your calories needed to maintain. I don't know your age but for a 25 year old at 5'5" and 121 lbs exercising 3-5 times a week, you need 2264 calories per day. Even if you were sedentary and didn't work out you would need 1753
Hope this helps
Thanks sc487.
Before I joined this site I had estimated that I needed to consume about 1400 calories per day to maintain my weight at 55 kg (I am in Australia hence the decimal) and after joining it seems correct.
However because I am exercising on average about 50 minutes per day at 250 calories per day it can be about 1600--1700 calories which gives me a little more leeway.
However I do still try to stick at the 1400 calories per day to allow for my indiscretions.
I have no problem really in maintaining my weight but I just feel really bad about the binging.
I feel ashamed and greedy.
I guess because of those feelings though, something good arises from them because then I exercise more and control myself better the next few days.
I would just love to be consistent though and not all or nothing.
I would love to be in control.
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My suggestion would be to log all your days, then. You need data to reach reliable conclusions.
1400 calories is almost certainly not your sedentary maintenance calories. I'm nearly 20 years older than you, an inch shorter, and only 30 pounds heavier, and sedentary maintenance for me is ~2000 calories. I lose about 5 calories a pound, so at your weight, maintenance for me would be 1850.0 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »Please feel free to add me. I've dealt with more than one body image/eating issue in the last 46 years. While I think I have them pretty much under control finally, I still have tough moments in the kitchen, and in front of the mirror. I'd love to help motivate you and help you if you need. Much love xo
Thank you. 0 -
My suggestion would be to log all your days, then. You need data to reach reliable conclusions.
1400 calories is almost certainly not your sedentary maintenance calories. I'm nearly 20 years older than you, an inch shorter, and only 30 pounds heavier, and sedentary maintenance for me is ~2000 calories. I lose about 5 calories a pound, so at your weight, maintenance for me would be 1850.
I think you have my age wrong.
I'm 50.
But yes I probably am a little harsh on myself with my calorie allowance but that's because I know I will end up binging every 4th night!
I know it's a vicious cycle.
I'm so glad I exercise frequently otherwise I would be a lot heavier.
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Feel free to add me (anyone can) I stop my self from binging by finding stuff todo to keep me busy. If there's nothing, I generally do a workout DVD lol
I don't think that'll work forever though1 -
Thanks smence
I don't really feel like doing another workout at 830 pm though although perhaps I could do yoga or stretches.
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It's possible that it's the starvation that fuels the binges. You are already eating at maintenance, but your eating is irregular and it's causing you distress. Maybe you could just aim for maintenance (calculate your TDEE; based on your height, weight, age, sex, it would be 1700-1900 depending on activity level), set your diary to reflect that, and strive to hit that goal by eating 3 to 5 good meals at set times every day? Plan your meals so that you get in both some healthy food and some food that you really desire (and forget about separating food into good and bad). Try this for a few weeks and try to notice how you feel and if the urge to binge subsides.
If it doesn't, you really need to seek professional help.
I won't be shouting "don't do it". I think you should nourish and take care of yourself, and your body and mind are already shouting, begging for it.0 -
Feel free to add me as a friend as well! I'm having the same problem and am willing to support you through it!0
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Thanks kommodervan and saramarie. I've been very fatigued today and ended up eating more food in the first half of the day than the second half. So far I feel satisfied and content and have about 200 calories spare. I am so hoping not to splurge tonight!
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So far so good! 0
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Feel free to add me or to just message me if you like. I use to suffer from binge eating several times nigh or all through the weekend. I was able to stop and form a healthy relationship but I understand the struggle and needing someone in that moment!0
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I'm getting there! Feel free to add me too0
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You can add me. We're humans after all we fall we get back up0
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