Will it be worth it? Or am I just fooling myself?

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TheHappyLoser
TheHappyLoser Posts: 95 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am here since 21days. I lost 9 lbs during that time , what of course is "beginner's luck," since I cut out sweets and alcohol almost completely.

I have been so motivated, so determined and so ready for this new life. I have been in a good mood from day one here. I to cheer on my "friends" and try to be a positive force on the sideline for others like me.

Yesterday, however, I fell in a hole so it seems. I was cleaning house and I was huffing and puffing as usual. I looked at our pictures and saw this beautiful, healthy laughing woman who was me once. It almost feels like I was looking at a different life.

It hit me so hard. Am I trying to turn back time? I am in my early 50's now, maybe that's just how I am supposed to look like now. All the women in my family develop this ugly muffin top when they get older. Why should I be an exception?

Menopause and aging, maybe it's all just normal and I am trying to fight windmills. All of a sudden I felt lonely. So many of my friends here are so much younger than me. I can't do what they can do. Who am I kidding?

Interestingly enough, I didn't overeat or binge eat as I normally would do. I ate my salad and a healthy dinner and I walked the steps up and down 9 times, just a little bit slower than the day before.

I feel still down, try to avoid looking in the mirror. I feel fat, ugly and old and a little bit hopeless.

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Replies

  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    50 also.
    Down about 13lbs in 5 weeks, compliments have started coming in. My wife and daughter have commented on how I don't look as wide.
    The previous weekend I was feeling pretty good when I had to shop for smaller pants.
    Last night I decided to finally take pictures to document my journey... and I was horrified by what the camera saw. Absolutely horrified.
    Not only that but why am I doing this? Not gonna lie, I'm having a bunch of fun with the whole process, everything I'm mentally equating with video games so a good, high fun factor.
    Then again, last time I was lean it almost ended my marriage. My wife was horrendously jealous, I couldn't step out of the house without her asking if females were going to be where I was going, unlike today when she is chill.
    The stress I underwent at that time was immense, so why am I working on putting myself through that again?
    I tell myself it's for a better job, to finally find something better than this dead end job that has been killing my soul for the past 10 years. Is that the only reason?
  • taunto_
    taunto_ Posts: 91 Member
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    My dearest friend on MFP is over 60 years old. Another friend of mine lost over 100 lbs and she is in her late 50's.

    Age is just a number. You are a beautiful person and just because you have put on a few lbs and are now working on reducing those lbs. Its simple as that.

    Take it from somebody who lost over 50 lbs and gained it all back by giving up... don't give up. Its not a good feeling to look back and think "wow, I would have been done by now and would have maintained my goal weight"
  • ejbronte
    ejbronte Posts: 867 Member
    edited June 2016
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    I'm 57 years old; started on MFP about a year and a half ago to lose 34 pounds (I'm 5 feet tall. On me 34 pounds was a lot). At 34 pounds overweight, I had no neck, lots of tummy and no shape.

    A year and half later, holding steady at between 104 and 107 pounds, I have a shape, my neck returned, my energy's up, I'm writing again, and even my hair and nails are better than they were. I'm looking and feeling younger than I did back when I started.

    So I believe, as was stated above, that we can all be as healthy - and as healthy looking - as we are ready to be, barring any outstanding medical issues.
  • CatMama526
    CatMama526 Posts: 23 Member
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    Discouragement can be rough! Getting healthier is a process, and it's not always fun. I'm just beginning again after many failed attempts, so I understand that it can be hard when self-doubt starts to chip away at one's motivation. I do believe though, that regardless of whatever your age may be, feeling better will make this worth it for you. I think that the fact that you didn't turn to overeating when you were upset is a great indicator that you CAN do this. I know I've succumbed to emotional eating far too many times. Anyway, I wish you lots of luck on your journey and I hope that the excitement comes back soon. :)
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
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    MyReflections wrote: »
    I am not giving up. I just feel so frustrated since yesterday. I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.

    There is no magic wand, I will have to do and undo what I did to myself. It's not always that easy to face reality.

    You guys are right. I didn't overeat...that's a reason to jump up and cheer for myself. I just wish jumping would be easier. :-)

    I really and truly understand this kind of funk. I had a few days of one myself over the weekend. It was so profoundly emotional. I spent some time talking through it, both to my husband and most importantly, myself. My head is back in the game.

    I think these rough spots happen because there is a lot of emotion tied into our weight and how that impacts us. What led us there, how we felt there, and how we're working so hard and we're not there yet. Growing older isn't for the faint of heart, nor is getting in shape after years of neglect!

    You know you're doing the right thing. Keep your chin up. This will pass.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    MyReflections wrote: »
    ...I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.
    Perhaps the focus shouldn't be on losing weight, but developing habits that will lead to weight loss.
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,710 Member
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    2011rocket3touring wrote: »
    MyReflections wrote: »
    ...I guess the realization that it will take a long while finally sunk in.
    Perhaps the focus shouldn't be on losing weight, but developing habits that will lead to weight loss.

    Yes, I agree. Sometimes it's helpful to switch focus from solely losing weight to learning how to develop new habits. Charles Duhigg's book "The Power of Habit" is excellent because learning how to break bad habits and develop new ones is useful in every aspect of our lives.
  • Becoming_Jaie
    Becoming_Jaie Posts: 12 Member
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    A slump can be terrible. But don't give up lovely! You're making this change for you. We all have to fight our demons and expectations, you reached out for help and that's exactly what you are supposed to do. Way to go for not giving up and sticking to your plan even when you felt defeated.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
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    You just can't give up, everything you want for yourself is within your reach. Age doesn't really matter when it comes to improving your health and even self esteem. I've done it at 66 and there are so many of us here who are doing it and that should inspire you to do it too!

    It's not easy, but it's not actually that easy even when you're in your 20's, so don't use age as an excuse. It's hard and it takes time but try to enjoy the process and the ride. Celebrate small victories like the one you had yesterday............you didn't eat all the food because of your feelings!

    Keep putting one foot in front of the other and build on yesterday's success. When you falter, and we all do, pick yourself back up and find the determination to start again!
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,840 Member
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    I was 48 when I started here, and I had similar thoughts that maybe this was just how it was when a person got older. And for a while I let the complacency set in. I couldn't expect to be where I was in my 30s.

    But that was not what I wanted. I still wanted to do the stuff I was doing in my 30s.

    So I signed up here ... and over the next 8 months I dropped 25 kg back down to the weight I was in 2004 when I was 37. This is the weight I was from about my mid-twenties until 2005 when I started very gradually putting on a little bit of weight.

    And I'm back to doing the long-distance cycling events I was doing when I was 37 too. :grin:

    It's not over yet! And I will fight to the finish!
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    61 and in better shape than i was at 20 or 40. You are in control of your life and fitnes..
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,483 Member
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    Just joining the throng of women who have been there and done it.
    Like @lorrpb I am in much better shape now than I was in my 20's and 40's.
    Even though I now weigh the same as I did then, I am so much more than the number on the scale- I am fitter and healthier.
    I lost the weight in my mid 50's during menopause and I am still maintaining at 62yo.

    Don't be discouraged, you can do this. Keep counting your calories and, when you are ready, start adding in more activity.
    Start slow and find things you like. Adding in some resistance work to help retain muscle would be good for you too.

    You have a lot of fine examples of women who could posted above, you are not alone.

    Cheers, h.
  • InfoomaousTete
    InfoomaousTete Posts: 1,383 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    The way I think about it, is this: You can't do anything about your age, but you can do something about your weight. And you are the only one who can tell if an effort is worthwhile. Everybody has to eat every day. You can choose to eat this, or that, and how much. Everybody's day has 24 hours. You can choose to spend some of that time moving. Or not. The results will vary depending on the combined factors in your effort, your genetics, and your environment. You can then choose to be content with your result, or to wish you were someone else. Funnily enough, that someone else could very well wish they were you.


    Best thing I've read in awhile!!
  • joeysgirl10
    joeysgirl10 Posts: 106 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    The way I think about it, is this: You can't do anything about your age, but you can do something about your weight. And you are the only one who can tell if an effort is worthwhile. Everybody has to eat every day. You can choose to eat this, or that, and how much. Everybody's day has 24 hours. You can choose to spend some of that time moving. Or not. The results will vary depending on the combined factors in your effort, your genetics, and your environment. You can then choose to be content with your result, or to wish you were someone else. Funnily enough, that someone else could very well wish they were you.

    very well said... i am going to remember this!

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