Re-Committing to my Goals

jayjay_90

Hey everyone

I'm not entirely sure what has compelled me to come here today to write this out... I guess I feel like I'm in need of a little motivation but also that I think my own story might be motivating to others.

Last June I stepped on the scales and was shocked and frankly really depressed about the number I saw. At 24 years old and a height of 5'6 I had hit 193LB. I knew I had gained weight over the last year (a new boyfriend meant a lot of nights out, many drinks, and delicious but very high calorie meals). I've always considered myself pretty athletic, growing up I was always playing a multitude of sports, so to some degree I think I was in denial about my weight. I can't tell you how many times over the years I would step on the scale and say to myself "Wow, 160lb at 17 years old? I gotta do something about this, I don't want to see this number again.". "Wow, 170 at 20 years old....I gotta do something about this". "180?! and I'm only 22! Time to get those running shoes back on". You get the picture.

I guess 193 was my true tipping point. Enough was enough, and I got serious. By mid January of this year I had reached a very reasonable 146.6LB. I was ecstatic. I finally felt like I had done it, I was making mindful choices without completely getting rid of the things I loved. I was reading the forums religiously, and I learned so much about what my body needs/how to fight certain cravings/the basic mathematics involved with calorie counting and energy expenditure. I was stoked! And only 6.6LB away from my target weight of 140LB. And most importantly, I had gained a bunch of confidence, I truly felt good about myself! I was taking part in activities left right and center, that I may have otherwise avoided.

But I was getting tired. Tired of dieting. Tired of counting calories. Tired of lacing up my running shoes when I'd rather just sit down with a beer. I started to get sloppy. So I gained some back. By the time I was going on my vacation late April, I was back up to 155LB. But I was okay with that, to some degree. I still felt good about myself, I was still working out, but I was just... sloppy. I was losing my self confidence. But, I went on vacation and said "Hey, just take it easy, enjoy your trip to the fullest, and we'll get back to work when we get home!". Unfortunately I forgot that I'm one of those people that can easily be set off track when I'm not watching the scales and logging my food. My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach, and I do emotionally eat. I'm still working on how to deal with that today.

So recently I decided I needed a good head shake. I felt so good when I was close to goal, it's crazy that I could lack such willpower over food that I have brought myself back up to that 160LB. I'm disappointed in myself - but I'm also re-entering this challenge with a lot more knowledge than ever before. I know what I need to do, I just need to DO it.

June 1st marked the start of a charity challenge I'm involved in - the Great Cycle Challenge to fight kids' cancer. With that challenge I decided to reassess my goals, reset my logging streak (cause what good is a 280 logging streak that you've been loosey-goosey about for weeks..) , re-commit to my food diary and mindful eating, and try to really tackle my issues with emotional eating. I'm starting with the month of June, but I plan on continuing until I hit my goal. I have two 10k races this month as well, and with 2 weddings to attend in July, my 26th birthday quickly approaching, and my own wedding to plan (he asked on our trip, can you blame me for going a little overboard?!) I am determined to give this my all again, just as I did last summer when I began.

So I guess what I ultimately want to say here is, it's OK to have set backs, as long as you get back to the real goal at hand and really use the knowledge provided by your supporters and the amazing community here.

I have 20LB to lose, but as I regain my confidence and willpower, and start feeling comfortable in my own skin again, I know I have way more -mentally- to gain.

Best of luck to everyone with your own personal goals. Feel free to add me and we can help keep each other accountable!

jayjay_90

Seems as if you didn't really read what I wrote and are just trying to pitch your product. Good for you for finding something that works for you but I have literally zero interest in any gimmicks, and I personally feel like 21 day fix is the biggest gimmick out there right now. Don't need to containers to control portions, especially since I'm using MFP....

corporatelawmom

Good for you! I very much understand where you are coming from. I have gotten close to my target weight a couple of times, but as soon as I do I start letting things slide and the weight comes back. I'm trying to get back on track. Good luck!!

tulips_and_tea

Sounds like you're on the right track mentally, which is the all-important first step. Focus on what worked for you before and get rid of what didn't. Maintaining our health is a life-long endeavor. Sometimes we're better at it than others. It's normal.

Get back to weighing and logging your food and you'll reach your goal. Enjoy your charity challenge!

jayjay_90

Thanks guys much appreciated!

arabianhorselover

Thank you for posting your story. I, too, got sloppy. Good way of putting it, by the way. I did so well before, and now I have 15 pounds to take off all over again. I'm not happy about it, but I am trying to get back on track.

ConnieRoxx789

Great post. I have been there many times.... My tipping point was my 27th birthday (last month). I weighed in at 220lbs and I felt like the Mr. Krabs meme. I decided to recommit myself also. Good luck to you!

Manrdgcrab86

Thank you for sharing your story, I felt like I was reading my own. I have never posted on here but am hoping to find the same motivation and support. I have always had a very muscular body, when I was the weight my BMI said I should be at 5'2“ it was by eating two very small meals (like a bowl of cereal) a day. Finally, I was ready to accept me for me and was doing great having lost 8 lbs the healthy way on my way to my goal of 25 (hoping to get back to 145). Then I got injured. For the third summer in a row I had tendon issues (the first 2 I tore them, most recently tendinitis). I have finally been cleared for no impact workouts and am on track with them making peace with not running my half-marathon this fall. The problem is that I too am a stress eater and I can't seem to get my diet back on track. What did you do that helped? Do you have any tips I may be able to try? Thanks again for sharing.

fubsyfern

I'm in the same boat! I was only 1 pound away from my "check point" (aka what it says on my drivers license), and 16 pounds total away from my ultimate goal last year until my birthday happened, then the holidays, then friends' birthdays, and weddings, etc. I ended up gaining back almost 10 pounds, and realized even though I was able to lose weight, the bad habits were still there. Eating out of boredom, and that stupid "clean your plate" mentality that's been drilled into my head since toddler-hood, those are my biggest problems. Anyway, here's to getting back and staying on the wagon!! I sent you a friend request too.

kad254

I'm in a similar place, feel free to add me! I crept up to 192 (as a 5'8 woman) about 3 year ago, and have bounced around 170, and am now at 180, looking to lose 15 pounds for good.