Failing time after time

Dawn1996r

I'm feeling like absolute rubbish.
I've been off plan for about 2 weeks, on and off within the days.
Snacking on absolute rubbish and everything I see in sight. I want this weight gone and yet I do everything I possibly can to ruin all the progress I have made so far.
My determination has been kick started by catching a glimpse of my fat, frumpy self in the mirror. Knowing that summer is at my doorstep and I still can't fit into any of my summer clothes is very frustrating.
This isn't so much as a question and no one really needs to answer it.

RoseTheWarrior

I feel like you're being very hard on yourself. You're not going to be perfect. Maybe look at a "just for today" type thread. When I was really overweight (I'm down 75 lbs now), I would get very mad at myself, and I had an "all or nothing" attitude. I've since learned to treat myself kindly, like a friend rather than an enemy. You'll be surprised at how much of a difference it can make. It's ok to mess up. It doesn't mean you're a failure. You can do this.

nursecasg

Make the commitment and follow through. I am older (40's) and I know nothing in my life has ever happened without first making the commitment. We can waver and say what we want but until that, nothing will change. Afterwards, it cannot be stopped. You can do this!

SoozeE512

I see from your profile that you have two young kids. You know how they didn't just start walking and talking overnight? They had to learn to make sounds and speak individual words before they could string a sentence together. They had to learn to sit and crawl before they could pull themselves up to walk. Learning how to change your habits requires baby steps too.

Each week, set up a dietary and/or activity goal for yourself that you feel is achievable and give it your best effort for that week. The next week, think of a new goal to aim for. The same way that you would encourage young kids to try new things by making them seem more fun, think up ways to make the goals seem more fun for yourself. Little by little, as you keep on trying, you'll eventually figure out what changes you like best and can stick to.

Also, know that your kids won't view you as a fat, frumpy woman -- they're going to see you as their mom who they love no matter what. Next time you look in the mirror, see the woman who is loved, "flaws" and all.

rickyll

it's a long process...it's actually a process that'll never end so if you slip up here and there it's not a big deal.
It's also a thin line between being to hard on yourself and being too easy on yourself...you don't want to scold yourself if you slip up but you also want to make sure you training your will power and grow in discipline so you slip up less and less with time.

It's all about self-awareness and knowing yourself really well. It seems like you're aware of your shortcomings and now it's time to get down to the root of the problem.

I think...do whatever you wanna do

emdeesea

Here's the cold hard truth: you have to work for it. It's hard and it sucks and it's slow. And you have to basically give up all your really bad habits, like munching on goodies when you're depressed. For me anyway it was the changing of all those bad habits that was really hard because in the mean time I didn't have any sort of replacement. What do you use for your security blankie when you don't have the blankie anymore? You gotta find something else.

You have to decide if you really want this. Like you REALLY want this because it doesn't happen overnight. You may not fit into those cute summer clothes this summer. But here's the deal: if you start NOW, you might fit in to some of them NEXT year.

But if you do nothing, next year you'll be right where you are now.

mandanicoleshakessss

SoozeE512 wrote: »

I see from your profile that you have two young kids. You know how they didn't just start walking and talking overnight? They had to learn to make sounds and speak individual words before they could string a sentence together. They had to learn to sit and crawl before they could pull themselves up to walk. Learning how to change your habits requires baby steps too.

Each week, set up a dietary and/or activity goal for yourself that you feel is achievable and give it your best effort for that week. The next week, think of a new goal to aim for. The same way that you would encourage young kids to try new things by making them seem more fun, think up ways to make the goals seem more fun for yourself. Little by little, as you keep on trying, you'll eventually figure out what changes you like best and can stick to.

Also, know that your kids won't view you as a fat, frumpy woman -- they're going to see you as their mom who they love no matter what. Next time you look in the mirror, see the woman who is loved, "flaws" and all.

^^^^^ THIS. 100% so true and great advice. And be more gentle and graceful of yourself. The second you want to give up - GIVE IN to the process!!!