Overcoming body image/self esteem issues (big girl mom yoga inside)

TheChrissyT

So my kids were nightmares today, but I managed to get them both to nap (AT THE SAME TIME)... unfortunately, that meant missing my yoga class at the gym. I decided to do a yoga video from youtube, and in it there was the dancers pose. I'd never really tried to do it before, because I didn't think that I could. I was really surprised and proud that, while it certainly needs a lot more improvement, I could do it. I decided to take a picture to share with my mom. I put it up on the computer and started editing it. Before I knew it, I was photoshopping my arms, covering my stomach overhang with text, blurring out the mess in the background, etc... then it occurred to me that I was just body shaming myself! I had just accomplished something I DID NOT THINK I COULD, and instead of just being proud of where I'm at, I was picking myself apart and "touching up" the flaws instead of appreciating the body that did it. This is a major problem for me, and I'm really working hard on ending that behavior so I can be a truly physically and mentally healthy person, and this post is a big part of that for me today.

Photo edit 1:

Happy picture, bright colors, distracts from what you can see and edited/covered what I didn't like



Photo edit 2:


Still same issues with covering/changing flaws, but I was pretending you could see more of me and therefor it was more honest... then I REALLY had to dig deeps and acknowledge what I was really doing TO myself, not FOR myself.



Photo edit 3:


Well, this the one I decided is the truth. I need to stop pretending that I should be something ELSE in order to be proud of myself. I'm taking steps every day to improve my HEALTH and my body will change as I succeed in those steps. I'm a mom, that changes your body. I made unhealthy lifestyle choices that have changed my body. I know a lot of other people are in the same boat with me. I just wanted to make this post to remind MYSELF and to remind anyone who finds themselves editing their pictures because they forgot that they DON'T HAVE TO do that in order to be proud of who they are and how they look.

I hope you're all having a great day and working hard to take care of yourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally.

hypodonthaveme

Isn't it hard sometimes. When we start weight loss for whatever reason, we get this mental state that says " I'm not doing enough. I need to do more. This area needs work. This one too." Then we say, " well I need to lose more , I need to lose x amount more." But the truth is, we exercised. We did it. We made it through the workout! The truth is, we lost 3 lbs. that is a huge step in the right direction.

I find working on my mental state is harder than pushing through an hour of the elliptical. Self image and self confidence will come in time. But we need to be Joyful for every ( small step to others) huge step we take. That new pose you did, you need to post that picture up with the caption " I did it, I truly did it" . Hang it on the fridge or your workout space or office. Cause hon, you did it. Stop being ashamed and start smiling for everything you have accomplished.

I have found I like writing in my nightly journal of the things I have accomplished. Then I have it when I am having a rough day. Maybe this will help you too. It will be a reminder of where you were and where you are. Put smiley face stickers on it. Make it something fun that you can look at and feel like the champion you are.

solieco1

You look fabulous! Strong and limber and perfect just the way you are today - real is beautiful Own it Girlfriend!

TheChrissyT

Thank you

capaul42

I like the last one the best! The other two it's just too hard to see the actual pose. Way to go. Not sure I could do that one, not for long anyway. Not limber enough lol!

emdeesea

Shoot, I couldn't do that pose. The last one looks fine, don't be embarrassed about your journey or whatever.

shariyahinton

I went to my first yoga class a few nights ago and I was embarrassed because I was the only fat person in there. I couldn't do a lot of the poses without modification and I was sweating and out of breathe before the warmup was even over. But I made it through and felt soooo good afterwards.

workin_onit

Wow Chrissy, just wow. You said a mouthful. I can't tell you how many times I've done that..."I need to lose more" "I don't like this, I don't like that"

And yes it's fat-shaming.

Wonderful that you shared that with us! I guess we all have to try to enjoy the process, the victories along the way.

Great job!!!

mbaker566

great job. i have a hard time with that pose. i'm so glad you feel positive about your awesomeness. the studio i go to is a strong advocate of yoga is for every body.
remember we all started someplace

TheChrissyT

emdeesea wrote: »

Shoot, I couldn't do that pose. The last one looks fine, don't be embarrassed about your journey or whatever.

That's what I realized I was doing. It was a revelation that I should be proud, not nitpicking, that I was trying and having relative beginner success with something I never thought I would CONSIDER doing 86lbs ago.

Thanks for your sweet (and oddly cute) positive message. I appreciate that.

TheChrissyT

shariyahinton wrote: »

I went to my first yoga class a few nights ago and I was embarrassed because I was the only fat person in there. I couldn't do a lot of the poses without modification and I was sweating and out of breathe before the warmup was even over. But I made it through and felt soooo good afterwards.

It is really brave to go into a yoga class when you're a bigger person, because everyone has this idea of what a "yoga body" is and there really are some limitations to what you can do. Like, I can't do a lot of the binds, because my thighs are still too big for my arm to be able to twist and reach around, or the back fat is in the way or whatever. It will just be even more rewarding the first time we're able to do it, because we'll remember how free we are then compared to how we are now.

The plus side (heh) of yoga, is that it really isn't about anyone else. Other people are not focusing on your, they're focusing IN. It's a really positive community, at least in the group that I've been around. The only harsh judgment I've received is from myself.