It is time to BUCKLE DOWN!!!!

Fighting4Healthy

I put this as my Status Update on MFP:
"Okay so I am going to log every bite I eat from now on, no matter how small the bite. I am not going to make my 15lb loss goal this month, but I am going to lose weight before the end of the month. I am back up to 170 and I need to lose some weight. My eating is going to be very off today because I slept in so late, so please don't be concerned about my eating today because I am going to try to not eat after 8pm tonight, but I am going to go exercise with my Sales Director. I think now that Sambo is working, there is less stress on me and less of a desire to eat like crazy. Sambo is going to get on the bandwagon as well because he has only 9 weeks to lose weight because when he hits 9 weeks at this new job, he will be eligible for benefits and they have an incentive program and lower health insurance rates for people who are more fit and don't smoke. Well, neither of us smoke but we both are obese so guess what?! 2lbs per week x 9 weeks = 18 lbs that I need to lose right now I am at 170-18= 152 lbs which isn't what I need to be at to be at a healthy weight but it puts me closer than I am now! Now I do have a goal size of a size 6/7 but May 2013 because by that time I will have been with Mary Kay for 1 year and my goal is to be a Sales Director by then, and with that I will get a new designer suit, and I want to ROCK THAT SUIT!!!!"

To be honest today is the 201th day I have logged on MFP, I have been on here since 2010ish, I started at 213lb and went down to 133lbs now I am back up to 170lbs and it hurts, not just physically but emotionally. I get depressed and eat and I need to stop that. Last night was it for me because I got so down on myself that I started hating myself when I looked at the mirror. I do not want to go down that road again. I have to eat cleaner and I need to portion. I started my own business this year that is supposed to teach women to love themselves and feel good about themselves and have confidence in themselves, how am I supposed to do that when I don't like myself? SO this is what I am going to do, I am going to recommit myself to myself, I have to take care of myself before I can make my business a success, be a good mom, or a good partner. I need to do this not just for me but for my family and business as well. Sorry to vent about my self discovery, but I needed to get it out so that I didn't explode.