cannot seem to keep on track - lacking all motivation

slickmickey

in 2014 i started really trying, with the help of my husband, and managed to lose 40lbs in about a year. my husband lost close to 75, and gave up soda. then in may of 2015 he suffered a massive heart attack, was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks, had to relearn everything (how to walk, feed himself, talking, the whole bit). while he's made a full recovery, at the beginning, no foods tasted right. there was about 2 weeks where he was living off pineapple, gummy bears, and water because it was the only thing he could stomach. it took well over a month for him to start eating again, and in that time he started drinking soda. we both stopped tracking because it was too much for me to handle.

it's now been just over a year, and i have NOT been able to stay on track. i've gained back 20pounds, he's gained almost all of his weight back, does not care about what he eats or drinks, and i cannot seem to stay on track for more than a day or two. i dont know why it's so hard this time around. i've even tried raising my calories thinking if i can just stay under THAT then i can work my way back down to a better goal.

i might go to yoga once a month (bikram), and i have been doing zumba once a week for a few months now but no matter what i try, i just dont seem to care by the end of the day and i eat WAY too much until i feel sick and uncomfortable.

i need help. motivation. something. i worry about my husband all the time but i cant make him try. he did tell me a few months back he needed to lose weight, but that lasted about 3 days before he gave up saying it was too time consuming to weigh/track everything. even tho we'd be so great at it for so long...

i guess i just feel so lost and overwhelmed and alone with everything and it's all too much. have you ever gotten so off track you dont even know how to start again? or lost all motivation to even try? the only good thing is that in the last month my weight has finally been steady

lessismoreohio

Try not to feel lost, overwhelmed or alone. I believe that these feelings (doubt, struggles with motivation) are more common than people realize. I know that I lost 65 pounds, gained 20 of it back, and now I'm back on my way to losing the weight again. I know I was angry and ashamed of myself when I started to put the weight back on. I also know that as I gain weight back, certain health issues also start to creep up as well. So I need to lose the weight for myself and my health.

My wife has also gained some weight over the past few years and it has caused her some health issues. I worry about her, and I've tried to reason with her to work to lose weight. She's in denial and doesn't feel like she really needs to do anything differently as far as eating and/or exercise. It's taken me a long time to realize that I can't or shouldn't lecture her to try to get her to change and that she has to want it for herself. I've learned that I can only focus on me and do it for myself and hopefully that will be enough to motivate her to do better as well.

What I've learned:

1. We can only changes things from the inside out. I need to be the model. If and when the time is right, my wife, sisters, others will decide to change, but it is up to them.

2. There is no shame in back-sliding. Progress here is not a linear line. 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 2 steps forward. The only real failure is in giving up and not trying.

valennes

Im so sorry for all you've been through. I hope husband is doing okay with his health. I cannot relate too much, im 22 and unmarried, but if you need a friend you can add me!

I CAN relate to getting far off track though. When i was 19 i got down to 139 lbs, 9 lbs away from my goal. Then i met my current boyfriend and i just gave up... i shot back up to my original weight of 180 by the time i was 21. Now i've got to do all this hard work once more! But in a weight loss scenerio, we only get 2 options: give up or keep pushing. I see in you that you are still pushing, and i wish you all the best! Maybe once your husband sees your effort and results, he'll be more motivated to try?

montgomerydebra

Great advice! Wow

vincema01

We all have our struggles and it's great that there are amazing people here for support, yes please add me if anyone wishes .

smprovy1

Hey there, I'm very sorry to hear that your husband suffered so much. Events such as those are definitely life changing. I'd like to share with you my experience with weight loss. At first, about 3 years ago, I was very strict with myself and lost about 30 pounds counting calories and cutting certain food out of my diet. I heard someone say once that, like smoking, eating can be an addiction! Learning this I realized that food has always been an addiction for me. All the time I just ask myself why can't I quit overeating or why can't I quit eating junk? Because I'm addicted to it! So, like smoking, they say to never quit trying to quit. A smoker will try for a few days, a week, or a month and get stressed out or have a life changing event and start smoking again. You can make the same comparison to eating! But the best thing for anyone with and addiction, such as myself, is to never give up on trying to quit. Don't give up on yourself. You may fall off track, but that's ok! Just try your best to make the healthier choice when you can and don't beat yourself up over it if you fall back. This has helped me when I don't have enough time to count calories and calculate macros and such.
Best of luck

bekim123

What's in the past you can't change. What you do have control over is what you do going forward. When you get off track (as I have, and probably most on here as well) you just have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off...get back on the horse. Don't dwell on what's been done that you can't change anyway.

MlleKelly

If you have access to it, a regular Bikram yoga practice will help you. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. It's you time, turn your brain off time, focus on yourself and your body and your breath time. You'll feel calmer, more patient, and stronger after every class, even if it only lasts until you get home. Keep going, keep trying, don't give up.

You can achieve anything in life with these three things: Strength, Flexibility, and Balance.

“You’re never too old, never too bad, never too late and never too sick to start from the scratch once again.” - Bikram Choudhury