Do you find people fishing for compliments here?

mom23nuts

Didn't know where to put this.

Often times I think I am lending support for something legitimate, and then read through ALL of the comments and find that maybe the original post wasn't so genuine.

Do you find that people come here often with a legit issue or what you think is a legit issue like finding motivation, exercise, whatever but then you look at the comments generated and comments on their posted picture and then wonder if you doled out support for someone who was just fishing for compliments?

Ok for example, one guy said add me if you want friends and then we chatted and then after swapping stories and lifestyles and what is working and not working he mentioned he was going to shake things up by doing a cleanse. After saying "cool" in his eyes it signaled my interest so, he wanted to try and sell me the cleanse as a rep for the company. WTF?

branflakes1980

I'm confused.. Your example does not sound like someone fishing for compliments, it sounds like someone trying to scam you which is totally lame, but does happen. You can report it.

As for the fishing for compliments portion of your post, yes it happens all the time, as it does in real life, but at the end of the day who really cares. You gave them good advice, maybe they will take it, or maybe they wont and were just looking for compliments. You obviously had the time to give or you wouldn't have given it, so why not just let it be, if you helped them, great, if not. Oh well.

salembambi

people are people and we like being worshiped, adored & validated once in a while or daily ...it depends

so yes , it happens a lot and i dont care

mom23nuts

I should have been clearer in my post sorry. Originally I was chatting with one woman about self image and she like she needed a way to end negative self talk and have a confidence boost and all the other comments were basing their advice on her picture, like "hubba hubba you look fine to me"

The other example was just adding friends like "feel free to add me if you are trying to lose weight in your 40s" and after chatting people up then I think that was that guy's way to network a large crowd of people into telling them about his cleanse he was going to try and if they did they could put his name in the order so he got credit or perk for selling the cleanse.

mom23nuts

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

If you don't want guys making advances, then don't add and refuse the friend request.

That was not it at all. it was the above sorry, I could have been clearer, but I had 2 examples going on and got them muddled when the fingers started typing.

mom23nuts

branflakes1980 wrote: »

I'm confused.. Your example does not sound like someone fishing for compliments, it sounds like someone trying to scam you which is totally lame, but does happen. You can report it.

As for the fishing for compliments portion of your post, yes it happens all the time, as it does in real life, but at the end of the day who really cares. You gave them good advice, maybe they will take it, or maybe they wont and were just looking for compliments. You obviously had the time to give or you wouldn't have given it, so why not just let it be, if you helped them, great, if not. Oh well.

Sorry should have been clearer, there was a mix up. One woman I thought I was helping just chat about body image issues and then looked at posters comments like "hubba Hubba" and I thought, "wait, was she just hoping for a look at my picture give me a boost moment while I was giving her legit advice?"

The other example was an "add me if you need to lose weight and you are in your 40s" general all call for friends. That was the guy that seemed to do that to reach a large audience to try and sell his cleanse to.

sunnybeaches105

You'll like some people and others not so much. Some are honest, some are dishonest, and many are somewhere in between. Some need compliments all the time, and others only occasionally or not at all. Some are fake, some are so out there you wonder if they have Tourette's. Some are happy and some are sad . . .

meh - you get this, right?

wolverine66

i don't find that it happens any more here than in real life.

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mom23nuts

I just feel like an idiot on both occasions. The woman was on the motivation and support section and the other guy was in like the first section like New to Here looking for friends.

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Scamd83

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

If you don't want guys making advances, then don't add and refuse the friend request.

That's not fair, adding someone as a friend doesn't mean you have to then tolerate them making advances. Too many people seem to take any little thing as a sign of someone welcoming advances. This place is full of people being friends to discuss and share fitness goals, not hit on each other. No friendship request/acceptance is permission for anything more. But this isn't the main point of this topic anyway...

OP, yeah, I see a lot of posts where people seem to be fishing for compliments. I also think there are quite a few posts where people are trying to steer others into telling them to eat more. Like they're seeking permission from others so they can feel better about eating a certain amount. Basically there's quite a bit of manipulation going on. But in regards to compliment fishing, I think it's not so much people being devious as it is just really insecure people seeking comfort from others. I'm not a keen seeker of compliments, but if someone tells me they think I look good and it sounds sincere, that's always a small boost. So I think you either go along with it, give them what they want, or just ignore.

sunnybeaches105

There's this really cool word. Not everyone listens to it or acts on it when they hear it, but they definitely should. It also shouldn't be used often when it's not meant sincerely. That said, it's hard to object to someome advancing if you don't use it, unless of course they're in a position to read your mind, or you give them a nonverbal answer (rather difficult to do on social media though). Given that there are a good number of people on here who either don't know how to use it, or don't seem to understand what it means, or stop when it's used, it's "no." One syllable. The link to the definition is below.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/no

There's even a catchy little tune by that name. My daughters know it my heart.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

mom23nuts

sunnybeaches105 wrote: »

There's this really cool word. Not everyone listens to it or acts on it when they hear it, but they definitely should. It also shouldn't be used often when it's not meant sincerely. That said, it's hard to object to someome advancing if you don't use it, unless of course they're in a position to read your mind, or you give them a nonverbal answer (rather difficult to do on social media though). Given that there are a good number of people on here who either don't know how to use it, or don't seem to understand what it means, or stop when it's used, it's "no." One syllable. The link to the definition is below.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/no

There's even a catchy little tune by that name. My daughters know it my heart.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

I get it, it's just crappy it was a sales pitch disguised as a friend request with plenty of weight loss support legitimate enough until it became a sales pitch.