Struggling

rooelladb

Back in April I finally hit 100lb loss and only had 44lb to go to target. I have been so strict and motivated and it worked. Then my mum went into hospital and boom food was my best friend and I couldn't stop comfort eating. I have basically stuffed my face for the last 6 weeks and gained 20lb. I'm gutted. I'm trying to start over and lose that last 64lb but I'm struggling. I manage through the day but then in the evening I just want to eat bad. I clear all the naughty stuff out but if I got to the shop I buy a little treat which turns into more treats. I've started doing body combat again so I'm hoping that will help me focus as I hate using exercise calories for extra food and think the calories burnt will go towards my weight loss so I don't like to waste them. Mum is home now but it's a massive life adjustment and I just wish I could handle my emotions in a different way instead of turning to food to cope.

Frizz001

Hi Struggling, I can relate to your experience. I discovered that after I regressed, I thought of myself as a failure. Everytime I attempted to recover, I sabotaged my recovery, due to failure thoughts. My feelings would rise, thinking about how hard it is to stay on track, and that I'm really just a failure because of how much weight I'd gained, and even though I'd done well that day, I'd succumb to emotional eating to ease the failure feelings.

I eventually had to find a way to stop thinking about regression as failure, but instead as a see saw - couple of steps forward, one back, couple more forward, etc, and then seeing this as normal and OK for me to be like. Do you have perfectionist tendencies (no one ever does of course, because the perfectionist is never perfect)? I do, and this compounds the success / failure dichotomy. So I realised that when I lose weight, I tended to view that as a success - a sign I am achieving. So to balance this, I now think about eating healthy, rather than succeeding, and see eating healthy as a more balanced process, aiming to generally achieve balance in life, over time, even though there are ups and downs along the way. I am trying to see weight loss as more of a by product, when it happens.

See if you have this kind of thinking process too, or a similar one that can be challenged to kick the emotional eating. I say "balance" to myself each morning - I'm going to have a balanced day, even if that means there will be some ups and downs. I am loving myself for who I am and all the pluses and minuses, because that's what makes me a balanced human being. I'm not a great success if things are going well, and I'm not a failure if they are aren't. I'm terrific regardless of circumstances. You are too ! It might help you too, if you focus on enjoying having a balanced life as you go about your day.

I also have another trick that I am trying to teach myself to invoke at difficult times, when emotions are running high. I try to say to myself that the things causing my emotions to run high are simply diversions, and I need to push them to a different part of my brain, to restore focus on my goals. Imagine your brain has a little bucket where you store the diversions. Work out your goals, and ask each day, what is diverting me from my goals, and then stash the identified diversions in the bucket, to be dealt with at a less emotional time. It takes training to make this work - sort of like the way elite athletes learn to not be pressured or affected by other competitors and their antics. Physical exercise, e.g. going for a half hour walk, also helps, as well as writing stuff down. I have an app (for androids) called, "Worry time", and that's been good too - you park your worries there and come back later, but invariably they clear up by the time you go back, and the parking process simply allows you to step through the emotions to get a much clearer view on the other side.

EmbeeKay

Frizz, that is a great, thoughtful, encouraging reply. I'm struggling with the same situation as OP. I appreciate you taking the time to write that out. It's super helpful for me, and I hope for OP as well.

OP, what I try to remind myself of is that I can't go back, I can't relive the past, I can't think about everything I've undone over the past few weeks or months or whatever. Life is just a walking journey. Even when I do reach my goal weight, life will go on. So today, am I going to walk toward my goal weight, or walk toward my starting weight? You have to walk SOMEWHERE. You know what I'm saying?

For a while there, I was sprinting toward my goal weight. Up at five in the morning to jog, working out later, tracking so diligently and thinking about the process continually. I can't seem to be able to resume that pace, but you know what? That's fine. "Nothing in nature blooms all year. Be patient with yourself."

rooelladb

Thank you both for your replies. It's reassuring to know others are facing or have faced the same battles as me, it's easy to forget sometimes that others have the same thoughts. I'm doing my weight loss on my own with no support so I'm glad I reached out to the forum. I will remind myself of your words when I have the urge and think that I do have options. I know I can do it because I've done it before. I just lost my mojo for a bit. Thanks again!