I just can't do this!

How do you do it?
I lack self control.
I so badly want to lose weight, but I can. Not. Stop. Eating.

Lastnight I ate half a chocolate cheesecake, and about 3 doughnuts, pasta with creamy tomato sauce and this morning was the second half of the cheesecake. I just can't do this! I have gained about 16 lbs since March- all from eating crap. I never used to be like this. I just can't stop. I used to eat super healthy for so many years, I used to run for miles in the morning and I am now the complete opposite. I just feel so lost.
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Replies

  • sjgold123
    sjgold123 Posts: 133 Member
    I have found new tasty receipes that are healthy that I end up craving and it feels like a treat not a diet. I don't buy the bad/good stuff. It will be a treat basis once per month. If I really want something I exercise more. Now I've started loosing the weight to notice it keeps me going and determination to stay strong.
    If I get in the mindset that all food is evil then I destroy my diet going on a binge. Little treats booked in help.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Don't keep that stuff in the house. Make a grocery list once a week, buy those items to make meals within your calorie budget, and don't go back to the store until the next week. At some point in the future you can work back to having that stuff at home. It might be a long time from now. I'm in Year 3 and still can't keep certain foods around.

    Took my a long time to realize this. I quit junk food over a week ago. I don't buy it, I'm not tempted. I do eat fast food once or twice a week but it's only one slice of pizza, or a small item.
  • Bogcart
    Bogcart Posts: 3 Member
    Meow you need support and motivation and discipline. Your local Health Authority or Primary Care Service should have a support system/course to give you all of the above. See your GP (or a GP in the Practice that has an interest in supporting patients with weight loss strategies). It will give you a chance to set Goals, make targets, sort out menus and get back on track. If you have the resources also join a proper Gym and make an appointment to get a Personal Trainer that knows about nutrition and weight loss.
    What you can do right now is sit and write down why you want to do what you want to do. For example, I do not want to become Diabetic. Next, write down you plan of action for next week: make Doc's Appt etc.
    I am surviving on around 800 Calories a day at the moment and it is *kitten* hard I can tell you but I do not want to die just yet. That's my motivation and I have to stick at that for another 7 weeks. I have gone from being an active Windsurfer, cyclist and Gym attender since becoming unwell in January 2015 and have just decided that things need to change as my health and condition is now absolute crap.
    I do hope that you can get sorted and as Lynn and Dresden have said, get professional help now, This could be the first step in your new life.
    Congratulations for having the guts to admit your situation on here. People will support you on here, however you need human contact and someone that will make you keep to your plans. Go for it ASAP.
    Blame you binge on the Referendum.

    Tonight, ask yourself where you want to be in a month's time. Where you are now or where you were when you were fit, active, and eating well.
    Chuck out the crap stuff in your cupboards and fridge as suggested or donate suitable stuff the the nearest Food bank. Do it tomorrow morning and make that your starting point.
    Bless you and the very best of luck.
    Keep in touch.
  • _calmjam
    _calmjam Posts: 18 Member
    edited June 2016
    I agree with not keeping stuff in your house that you're going to binge on. If you do, and start eating it, don't eat all of it. Give it to a neighbour, the other half of the cheesecake for instance. I do that sometimes, when I'm binging on cookies or whatever, give the rest away. Or if you're really desperate, just throw it away in the garbage shute and say buh-bye to all those calories you might have eaten.
  • Meow112
    Meow112 Posts: 20 Member
    Have you been to see your doctor about such a sudden change in appetite/behavior?
    Not meaning any disrespect but it sounds like you may have a problem that requires professional/psychological help.


    I did see my doctor about a month ago, he recommended me to be a psychiatrist but the earliest appointment is July 27th and prescribed me an antidepressant.

    I don't want diabetes, I don't want to die early. I fear these things.
  • amyn73
    amyn73 Posts: 241 Member
    You have to give yourself some grace and know that what you are trying to do is very hard. Also, if you really want to have a fighting chance, throw away the unhealrhy stuff, get some healthy food and commit to 2 weeks with no cheats. Go longer than that if you can but also remember that the first weeks are so tough, just gwt back on it the next meal every single time. This is your life changing, there will be ups and downs. You can do it!!
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,091 Member
    Meow112 wrote: »
    Have you been to see your doctor about such a sudden change in appetite/behavior?
    Not meaning any disrespect but it sounds like you may have a problem that requires professional/psychological help.


    I did see my doctor about a month ago, he recommended me to be a psychiatrist but the earliest appointment is July 27th and prescribed me an antidepressant.

    I'm sorry it's such a long wait for the appointment. Are you taking the prescription?
    I don't want diabetes, I don't want to die early. I fear these things.

    Have you had blood work done to determine your blood sugar levels? Not that you shouldn't be concerned, because the way you are eating and gaining weight certainly puts you on a risk trajectory for diabetes, but since the fear doesn't seem to be motivating behavioral changes, it doesn't seem to be helpful. It was a high blood sugar number on a blood test that brought me to MFP, but the fear of diabetes actually helped me to change my behavior and lose weight, and it doesn't seem to be doing that for you. Maybe if you knew for sure whether you were at risk in the short term it might help, either by creating a stronger motivation or by relieving some of your anxiety and allowing you to approach the issue more calmly?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Doesn't look like you want it enough.
  • x5hjg
    x5hjg Posts: 14 Member
    Hi, I really hope you can get some help with how you're feeling. The antidepressants should help you but you need to take it one day at a time. Make sure you go to the appointment on the 27th and take all the help you can get.
    Let us know how you're doing and good luck. Xx
  • Veryana
    Veryana Posts: 122 Member
    Meow112 wrote: »
    How do you do it?
    I lack self control.
    I so badly want to lose weight, but I can. Not. Stop. Eating.

    Lastnight I ate half a chocolate cheesecake, and about 3 doughnuts, pasta with creamy tomato sauce and this morning was the second half of the cheesecake. I just can't do this! I have gained about 16 lbs since March- all from eating crap. I never used to be like this. I just can't stop. I used to eat super healthy for so many years, I used to run for miles in the morning and I am now the complete opposite. I just feel so lost.

    You do realise you don't have to have those things in your house? And if you do feel like having treats, why don't you make them in small size enough for one or two portions? It's not hard to make a small cheesecake which is enough for one person. Doughnuts? Buy just one if you want one, don't buy more that same day. And some foods just are the kind where it is difficult to make small portions, freeze leftovers in portion size packs instead and have them some other day. And sometimes it is better to just go eat out, have your ice cream from cafeteria instead. You won't have extra stuff in your home that way and it requires you to go out and go somewhere for it.

    And btw, 800 calories definitely isn't enough for you and that might be the reason why you binge on food. Eat at least 1200 calories a day.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    What brought on the binge? What were you feeling at the time? The first lesson is to take care of the underlying need. The second is to come up with new strategies where food won't be the focus.

    I strongly suggest the Habit book by Duhigg for some eye-opening tips on why cheesecake has the power to destroy you.

    But, gosh, cheesecake. So good.....
  • LoraMartyn
    LoraMartyn Posts: 41 Member
    You CAN do it if you want to hard enough. I was in your shoes, there was more junk food in my cart than there was "real" food. 10 weeks ago I decided enough is enough. I was 185 pounds and hated the way I looked and felt. What helped for me? The obvious to not bring that stuff into the house. But what saved me was always having fruit around for my huge sweet tooth. We always have grapes, oranges and bananas around. Lately have had fresh cherries which I haven't had since I was a kid! Man were they good. And to look back now and realize how many calories are in the junk I used to eat, compared to a decent serving of fruit....wow! I have also been walking and to date have lost 20 pounds! It also helps if you have someone else to eat healthy with you. If you need a buddy, I am here!
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I'm kind of suspecting an eating disorder at play. Like others have said, don't buy those foods, and make sure to follow up with the psychiatrist. You may also need bloodwork to look at your hormone levels, vitamins, electrolytes, and other indicators of health.
  • FabianMommy
    FabianMommy Posts: 78 Member
    edited June 2016
    I found those pages really helpful Madelina, thank you.

    Meow, you CAN do this, I have done similar behaviours and I am now 14 pounds down in 7 weeks with the help of a Fitbit and plain old persistence. See your doc most definitely to start but you have to really want to lose the weight yourself if your health checks out, if you have cake today, you are going to want it tomorrow and the day after unless you can get some control. You can do this and I promise you it's worth the effort but you already know that.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    Meow112 wrote: »
    How do you do it?
    I lack self control.
    I so badly want to lose weight, but I can. Not. Stop. Eating.

    Lastnight I ate half a chocolate cheesecake, and about 3 doughnuts, pasta with creamy tomato sauce and this morning was the second half of the cheesecake. I just can't do this! I have gained about 16 lbs since March- all from eating crap. I never used to be like this. I just can't stop. I used to eat super healthy for so many years, I used to run for miles in the morning and I am now the complete opposite. I just feel so lost.

    I personally manage this by planning my eating in advance. Each night I plan the next day's meals, and I include some snacking or other treats as part of the plan. These could be things like ice cream, or something like a fiber one bar or breakfast cereal (which I really like).

    I find that having a solid plan for exactly what I will have, and eating exactly what I planned, makes the whole process easier and take a lot less willpower. Sure, I'd still like to go and eat all the things - but having a specific plan for each day really helps me not do that.
  • walking2running
    walking2running Posts: 140 Member
    Sometimes you'll end up with cake or other treats in the house. You need to find ways to cope. You can freeze the cheesecake and take one piece out at a time.

    However, at this point, it is more about forgiving yourself for the past few months, and finding a way to move on. It sounds like you are suffering from depression or have some self-loathing issues to resolve. So, it may be more difficult to dig out of the hole that you are in now, but not impossible.

    I wish you success, and I hope you realize that you are a strong person, and worthy of treating yourself well.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited June 2016
    Unless there's more here than you are telling us, it sounds like it's more about bad habits and lack of structure, than psychological issues that need urgent professional assistance and medication. Don't think you need to forgive yourself; it's a primal instinct to seek out calorific food and very difficult to not eat food you like very much that is right in front of you. You are not supposed to stop eating, just to stop overeating! So, implement some environmental tweaks. Replace foods you like to eat, but overeat now, with other food you like, but don't overeat. Get rid of the not-so-nutritious food you tend to binge on, and don't buy anymore of it (not yet). Plan your meals - find recipes for delicious real food dishes that you know you like - write a shopping list based on those recipes - buy the ingredients you need to make those meals. Cook, serve yourself appropriate portions, sit down and eat, enjoy your meal.

    I recommend looking into Ellyn Satter's "What is normal eating", "Brain over binge" by Kathryn Hansen, and Allen Carr's "Easyweigh to lose weight".
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    edited June 2016
    @MadalinaPetre I am pretty sure you are violating copyright law by posting those images, unless you are the author of that book or have their permission to do so.

    OP along with not overly restricting myself, I allow myself to work at this slowly. Instead of having some date i mind to reach a glao I just work on making better choices. I try to stay under my calorie goal but sometimes I have a hard day so allow myself to have a smaller deficit or a maintenance day. If I go over... well tomorrow is a new day. z

    The only rule is that no matter what it it I have to look at the label/calorie information and I have to log it before I eat it. If the log shows I am going to go over budget I ask myself it I really want the food more than I want the weight loss. Often this makes me pause and maybe chose a lower calorie snack instead.



  • KateTii
    KateTii Posts: 886 Member
    For me, it was about building up saying "no".
    I can't eliminate my major cravings/pitfalls. Between snacks in the office and working at a restaurant, I can't get away. I had to learn how to say no and keep that decision. Even if I said no, then 15 minutes later I ended up having it, the next time was 20 minutes, the time after that, an hour. Now it's much easier to say no and can do so quite happily. However, I do make sure I have something to look forward to that I can say "Yes" to. Saying "no" 15 times in one day so I can say yes to a calorie-controlled portion of my super favourite icecream makes it so much easier.

    That being said, binging on that much food and the sudden change makes me think that there is more than just a willpower issue but it sounds like you're getting help for that shortly. You need to help your brain before your body.
  • elaineously
    elaineously Posts: 40 Member
    Very cool reading material Madalina thanks for sharing.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    I do it by deciding to do it. Some days I decide not to do it, and then I do it anyway. I eat perfectly on weekdays and whatever I want on weekends.

    Also, working out and eating right are the best anti-depressants.
  • jessiethe3rd
    jessiethe3rd Posts: 239 Member
    Easy.

    Eat all the fat and protein you want for a week. Quit eating carbs.

    Start with that. Once you've weened yourself off carbs flip to the calories
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    edited June 2016
    @Meow112 Have you any idea of what changed in your life that you are the complete opposite of what you say was healthy?