Starting over

techcoast

You know, I went from 300 down to 185 just over a year. I felt so accomplished and motivated. A few things happened to me in the last year and the emotional roller-coaster that I went on took its toll in my not spending time exercising and maintaining my new-found health. As such, I find myself feeling very tight in my once loose shorts and getting that spare tire exaggerated once more.

Having gone through some tough times before I know that I stress eat and I tend to lose motivation to go to the gym if I don't feel like I'm accomplishing something, staying useful, and generally being productive person. It's tough to find the motivation to get my butt in gear and fight the urge to stay home, eat, and then feel worse that I ate so much and didn't work out. Seems ridiculous from the outside, but very convincing when you're in it.

One step at at time. That's all I can do. I get up from the couch in the cooler evening and go for a short run because my stamina is worn in the last 4+ months of inactivity. Yesterday I had a friend join me in the gym and help push me even though I'm lifting about half of what I was doing when I stopped.

Some days I go, others I stay home. But I'm not getting down on myself for those days. I simply say; "Oh well tomorrow I'll hit the gym or do something active. Tomorrow I will make better choices and stay on track. Today I did better than I have in recent past and that's good. If not, tomorrow I'll keep going. "

Giving myself grace and allowing myself to be okay with how I did in the day but continually working on keeping my head in a positive place is allowing me to slowly get my rhythm back in place and me starting to lose weight again.

I'm proud of what I have accomplished and remind myself that I CAN make a change and that I CAN make better decisions. I feel fat and disgusting, but it's not how I'm trying to see myself. I'm learning to treat myself as I want to be, not how I feel or see myself in the mirror. One step at a time, one day at a time. Thanks MyFitnessPal for the tool that makes a difference in my life and to my wife and friends who encourage me.