overcoming past eating disorder

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lkeskih1
lkeskih1 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm going to preface this post by saying that I recognize that I sound crazy but I am in a way healthier place than I've been before so at least there's that, and maybe there's someone that can relate or even help me get to a better place than I am now so here goes.
I've struggled with anorexia/body image issues for about 10 years. Although I've been eating a reasonable diet for 5 years, about a year ago I lost a considerable amount of weight due to a combination of stress and my boyfriend (who always brought home junk food) moving out. I am comfortable with this weight now but I feel I am struggling to maintain it in a way. Even a two pound weight fluctuation causes me to freak out. IN the past 6 months I've began running (something I never did before. In fact I never even worked out at all before) I've also began weight lifting, doing yoga, and just being more active. But when I can't be active, I freak out. i have a fit bit, which I have had for a few years but if I don't hit my step goal I'll pace my bedroom until I do. I just find myself falling back into obsessive behaviors.
maybe i need therapy. lol.
I definitely still eat, I am able to go out for beers with my friends and eat junk food on occasion. I don't throw up or over exercise. I am just becoming more and more fearful of gaining the weight I've lost back, especially because over the last few weeks my weight has been consistently a couple lbs heavier than usual, despite regular cardio and healthy diet. ok anyways end rant. any input is appreciated. Thank you!

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with getting therapy to help with your eating disorder, I don't know why you'd find that funny?
  • Kdp2015
    Kdp2015 Posts: 519 Member
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    OP I think you know yourself better than anyone on here, there is nothing wrong with asking for help but maybe you could ask someone more qualified to answer - if that means counselling so be it x
  • Kdp2015
    Kdp2015 Posts: 519 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    There is nothing wrong with getting therapy to help with your eating disorder, I don't know why you'd find that funny?
    Presumably meant as a nervous laugh?!
  • atitagain1958
    atitagain1958 Posts: 160 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Is your weight now what it should be for your height and age? You said you were eating a "reasonable" diet for 5 years but lost a "considerable" amount of weight due to stress and the junk food your ex brought home. So how healthy IS your diet? Make sure you use the guidelines on this site to eat healthy. Make sure what your weight is classified, normal, over, under? (Don't go by how YOU think you look. Anorexics have a false sense of self image) If your weight is normal, plug into MFP to maintain, if over plug into MFP to lose 1 or 2 lbs a week (Don't be tempted to do more. Anorexics tend to overdo), if you're under plug in to gain 1 or 2 lbs a week. If you feel you're becoming obsessed over exercising...you probably are. We're usually the last ones to admit our faults. Try to concentrate on healthy eating as opposed to over exercising. I'm afraid if you don't, you're going to fall back into those anorexic habits. It wouldn't be a bad idea to seek professional help. There's no shame in that. Its not a sign of weakness like some people think. It's the smart people that recognize they need help and get it. It's the cowards that don't. Good luck to you!!!
  • lilligraz22
    lilligraz22 Posts: 183 Member
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    I can totally relate! Was anorexic /bulimic for a long time. Obsessive behavior is something that will probably stay with you without the right help. I would definitely consider therapy in order to face the issues.
    It helped me quite a bit.
    Good luck to you
  • PeachyMango333
    PeachyMango333 Posts: 17 Member
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    Hey, I totally get you. My anorexic compulsions drove me to the point where at 5'6, I was down to 75 pounds. I've been in recovery, but every day it is such a struggle to not want to compulsively exercise or worry about restriction. I'm scared to swallow food, always seek ways to restrict or burn more calories, and all of my friends and family are basically ready to give up on me.

    I've never felt so caged and alone, but the relapses are so strong. I don't know what to do. ED is like a demon taking over your body, ya know? It's like, it makes you believe that nothing other than food or exercise matters :/

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