Sabotage ....

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moveover22
moveover22 Posts: 15 Member
in Motivation and Support
Did you ever have that friend or person who because you started doing something, they do it too? Or they know you are working out and eating better yet they disregard it completely. I feel like I'm getting looked at crazy because I am choosing to be healthy or instead of supportive, it's competitive. Man, I would love a koom-by-yah moment but I keep thinking of that beastie boy sabotage song if my life had a background song moment right now. That and their song fight for your right too parrrrttttayyyyy. You get the idea.

Do you get what I'm saying? Or does anyone else have that person?

Replies

  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
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    Humans are basically creatures of habit and when someone does something differently it may take them time to adjust to the new goals you have in mind. They may be confused but underlyingly supportive or out and out dead set against what you want to achieve - leave them to sort their own issues out, you do whatever you feel makes you happy and fulfilled.

    Of course in an ideal world we wouldn't feel like we are being thwarted but Hey, it's not an ideal world and I'm sure it will be good for you in the long run to exercise freedom of choice and feel empowered by your aspirations,

    All the best. Try not to let it de-rail you.
  • lenoresdream
    lenoresdream Posts: 522 Member
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    Could also be jealousy :(
  • KareninKY
    KareninKY Posts: 4 Member
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    My office mate likes to try to bring me down with her. She can't resist office temptations and to make her feel less guilty she tries to get me to eat them too; to the point of literally waving it under my nose!

    I think jealousy is a huge part because I'm losing and she's not. I love nothing more than to stand my ground and watch her self destruct. Hope that doesn't sound heartless; it's more of a "touche" moment.
  • iamsoveryrich
    iamsoveryrich Posts: 12 Member
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    In my experience, your triggering that person. They feel like they have not been able to achieve that same goal so to act out they lash out/sabotage or do whatever they can to make themselves feel at ease. Can you see your friend with compassion and in your mind also seeing her successful?
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    No...
  • Brans34
    Brans34 Posts: 599 Member
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    My ex is like that. Which is probably part of why he is now my ex.
    He had to complain that I made more healthy food for dinner, or bought the lower calorie, lower fat foods, or made something with chicken more than 2 days a week. When I would go to they gym, or to the park for a run, or just I for a walk, he would accuse me of seeing someone else, even though I was losing weight so fast that even I could see it. I was losing right about 10 lbs a month, and I felt great.
    Of course I got a new job and slacked off on the exercise and better eating habits, and ended up gaining half the weight back, but I'm back to it now, and I don't have to listen to him complain about any of that anymore. Sometimes you just have to cut those people out of your life. I really want someone in my life now that has some of the same goals; eating healthier and being active. That way, when I have a lazy day, I have someone else to help push me.
    Best wishes!
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
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    iamsoveryrich wrote: »
    In my experience, your triggering that person. They feel like they have not been able to achieve that same goal so to act out they lash out/sabotage or do whatever they can to make themselves feel at ease. Can you see your friend with compassion and in your mind also seeing her successful?

    I don't know what you mean by triggering?

    The lashing out/sabotage should have been left behind after kindergarten. If she's not emotionally mature enough to refrain from such petty behavior, then I could see having some compassion (or pity) for her and distancing myself. But the only basis for seeing her as successful is If she's actually successful at something. There are no participation ribbons for real life.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    moveover22 wrote: »
    Did you ever have that friend or person who because you started doing something, they do it too? Or they know you are working out and eating better yet they disregard it completely...

    Do you get what I'm saying? Or does anyone else have that person?

    This sounds like two completely opposite problems, neither of which I've ever had.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    moveover22 wrote: »
    Did you ever have that friend or person who because you started doing something, they do it too? Or they know you are working out and eating better yet they disregard it completely...

    Do you get what I'm saying? Or does anyone else have that person?

    This sounds like two completely opposite problems, neither of which I've ever had.

    The first one almost sounds like the OP inspired somebody else to better themselves, too. I hope that was the case! :)

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