want to start going to the pool but feel self conscious :(

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veitnamwar1965
veitnamwar1965 Posts: 30 Member
in Motivation and Support
hi , i want to start swimming again after like 8 years of avoiding pools because of my weight , i just dont want people to insult me or give me the look , how do i get the motivation to go to the pool and not feel bad about my self / how i look thanks :)

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  • OlyCapitalChick
    OlyCapitalChick Posts: 236 Member
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    It has always been hard for me. No two ways about it. Hunting for the right pool wear helps. Beyond that? Sheer will power and focus to block out the pain and anxiety induced during pool time. Good luck!! I hope you are able to get some water time
  • pebble4321
    pebble4321 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    I think you just have to go.
    Maybe scope it out first and ask the staff when is the quietest time, then bite the bullet and go.
    And remind yourself that the odds that anyone is noticing you are very small indeed. Most of us are so much more self conscious about how we look, and are mostly focused on that!
    I also wouldn't be looking out for "looks"... it's very easy to interpret someone's expression wrongly. You might think they are thinking about you, but it's much more likely that they are grumpy or concentrating or in pain or (if it's me) squinting really hard to try and read the time on the massive clock on the wall without their glasses!
  • dhampir_princess
    dhampir_princess Posts: 71 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Just tell yourself that once you're actually IN the water, all people will really be able to see is your head and shoulders, the part of you that people see all the time anyway.

    Also, once you start swimming laps it's easy to lose yourself in focusing on which lap you're on, or trying to figure out the name of the song that pops into your head randomly, or giving yourself a fake running sports commentary of how good you are at swimming/turning/etc.

    You got this!!
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    I have a waterproof iPod and go during quite times. I've never had a rude comment. In fact only a rare few people talk at all. They are doing their own thing. Just go! You can do it.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I'm over weight and pregnant. I still go. Maternity swim suits are total BS. I see people look at me...and I generally think to myself "Take a good look sweetheart...this can be you too at 37." lol.
  • kamann
    kamann Posts: 1 Member
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    I too avoided pools and swimming for years, decades really, because I was ashamed about how my body looked. Once I did get back in the pool I remembered how amazing and weightless by body feels in the water. That was enough joy and motivation to think "I really dont care if other people are judging me,this FEELS GOOD and is good for me!"

    For me, it also helped to find modest swimwear. A rash guard shirt and swim shorts helped me feel less self-concious.

    You can do it!!!!!
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    Get a swim suit you feel comfortable in. I never had one until I got swim shorts. Long ones. Used on ebay. But they're not so $$$ new either.

    I'm bottom heavy and that never changed. I'm smaller now but I'm not small. I wear it with either a rash guards or a regular swimsuit top.

    Truthfully most ppl don't have perfect bodies and to be practically naked, no one looks good.
  • jessicarobinson00
    jessicarobinson00 Posts: 414 Member
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    Honestly EVERY BODY is semi self conscious in swimwear. I personally purchased an adorable cover up to wear up until the moment I was tanning...or from lounge area to pool side....the more you do it, the more comfortable it will feel....So find something that you don't mind rocking and strut your stuff. ;)
  • kacobens
    kacobens Posts: 8 Member
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    Hi, from my experience, you need to start small! Start walking around your house in your swimsuit or underwear (or hey, even naked!). It's been scientifically proven that the more you see yourself in these outfits and in these situations, the more confident you'll become in your own skin! Maybe start out at a less busy pool too, which is what I've been doing! It's all about mindset!
  • kacobens
    kacobens Posts: 8 Member
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    Oh, and doing something for yourself to help boost your confidence is a winner too! Like maybe getting a tan or a spray tan and doing your nails!
  • Claire5520
    Claire5520 Posts: 113 Member
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    So many people don't swim at all because they're too self conscious. If you can overcome that you've won the battle - once you start going regularly you'll be so focused on what you're doing I bet you won't care.
    I put off swimming until very recently. Although not overweight, I am very severely scarred from extensive acne, which is often still active. I felt like I had the plague and I wouldn't dream of showing my skin to anyone. It was actually having my daughters which changed my mindset - I didn't want them to become self-conscious and wanted them to be proud of their body no matter what it looked like, so I knew I had to lead by example. I overcame a fear of water (and swimsuits!) eventually and its this conquest which has given me the confidence to walk around with scars fully on display, as I'm proud of all I've overcome.
    You can do it. Xx
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Go! Anyone who gives you a negative look, or, God forbid, insults you, has severe emotional problems and is to be pitied.
  • southbaysonia
    southbaysonia Posts: 39 Member
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    I stayed out of the pool for 30 years. I love swimming. I'm too old and overweight and have somehow adopted the attitude (reality?) that I'm kinda invisible. No one takes a 2nd look at me. There's a kind of freedom in that. And denying myself something I love so much (& is so good for me), isn't going to keep happening. Life is too short.

    Someone on MFP also told me, when I said I feared judgement that she DOES judge when she sees overweight people in the pool: she thinks 'Way to go' & 'Good for her'. I choose to believe that.

    BTW, the swimming is less about physical health for me. It's the mental health benefits that keep me motivated to continue working on my physical health. And, of course, there are innumerable physical benefits.

    Sorry for such a long reply. Swimming is a passion of mine. I invite you to c'mon in: the water - and everything else - is fine!
  • lazydaisy09
    lazydaisy09 Posts: 39 Member
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    I went to my pool and looked around the place first. Lots of people, and no one paying attention to me. That's how it has stayed. People are paying attention to themselves either playing or doing laps. I have fun and burn lots of calories and no one there cares :)
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    southbaysonia wrote: »
    I stayed out of the pool for 30 years. I love swimming. I'm too old and overweight and have somehow adopted the attitude (reality?) that I'm kinda invisible. No one takes a 2nd look at me. There's a kind of freedom in that. And denying myself something I love so much (& is so good for me), isn't going to keep happening. Life is too short.

    Someone on MFP also told me, when I said I feared judgement that she DOES judge when she sees overweight people in the pool: she thinks 'Way to go' & 'Good for her'. I choose to believe that.

    BTW, the swimming is less about physical health for me. It's the mental health benefits that keep me motivated to continue working on my physical health. And, of course, there are innumerable physical benefits.

    Sorry for such a long reply. Swimming is a passion of mine. I invite you to c'mon in: the water - and everything else - is fine!

    Hello! I wasn't going to comment on this thread until I read your post @southbaysonia

    I have to tell you this- I'm one of those tan fit people who see an obese person at a pool or at the gym and think to myself" good for them! Awesome!"
    We do exist! :) I'm glad that you know that not everyone is judging and some people like myself are happy to see obese people trying.
    I remember the feeling of being obese and self conscious and afraid to be Judged. It was really awful.
    Because I've been there, I know exactly how it feels.
    I truly 100% think to myself " I'm so glad they're here trying! Good for them!" I just keep it to myself though because I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone by saying it out loud.

    I can't speak for everyone but I do know that not everyone is judging and some people really just want others to succeed. So go for it op ! Get in the pool! :)
  • LaceyBirds
    LaceyBirds Posts: 451 Member
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    Just a note - the OP is a guy.

    Be thankful you're not a woman - you're allowed to wear swim trunks that go to your knees. Pair them with a rash guard, a looser one if it looks better. Then you have to do what others have said - you have to grit your teeth and just do it. It's hard, I know - I still won't do it, and I have other fears that I have trouble facing, but I have found that, when I finally do it, and keep doing it, it gets easier. Once you get comfortable, you might feel comfortable taking off the rash guard. I don't know if you have thrift stores in Ireland like we do in the States, but they are a good place to check, or Ebay too. Good luck, you've done great so far, those 60 pounds will be gone before you know it. :)
  • c1ownfishie
    c1ownfishie Posts: 82 Member
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    I've been a lifeguard at a pool for 10 years now and I can honestly tell you that no one really pays attention. I still feel self-conscious in a two piece even though I grew up swimming and playing water polo. If you want to go to the pool and swim then you definitely should! Swimming is a great workout and I know you will thank yourself in the long run. Good luck!
  • atitagain1958
    atitagain1958 Posts: 160 Member
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    Male or female, the principle are the same...you want to feel good in your swim suit/trunks and you want to have that confidence!!! A couple websites to help you with the swim trunks and if you have a belly, a shirt...

    http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=34551&sc=3406

    http://www.complex.com/style/2013/05/how-to-dress-for-the-beach-if-youre-fat/

    I really don't like the name of the second article but it's got good info.

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