Restaurants and Special Requests

jagodfrey08

Hardest thing ever for me. My husband and I finally got a kid-free night last night and went out to a bistro for trivia night with friends. I was going to eat before we went to avoid any issues, but my husband remembered they had salads when he went two weeks ago. So, we went...and they had changed the menu. Of course. Thankfully, I was able to order a grilled tuna steak with none of the sauce or sesame crust and skip the mashed potatoes in favor of more sautéed squash and zucchini. It was quite delicious, but I felt so embarrassed to ask for all this stuff. Afterwards, the server was like, "When you're off your diet, you should try it with the sauce. So good!" I know she meant well, but it still gave me pause. I'm not dieting. I am eating healthy, watching my caloric intake, and foregoing "crap" food.

Does anyone else go through this at the restaurants? How do you overcome the awkward feeling?

jemhh

I'm lactose intolerant and most restaurant entrees include cheeses or creams, which are what bothers my body the most. I have a good idea of what dairy I can handle and what I can't and eating out often requires me to ask that sauces be left off. I wouldn't do something like order an alfredo dish with no cream because that's just silly but skipping sauces and subbing sides is pretty normal to me. I don't think I'd ask for no crust but everything else seems fine.

atitagain1958

I think that was inappropriate for the server to say. I've made special requests in restaurants many times and nothing was ever said to me! Whoever said you were on a diet?! It was inappropriate for him/her to assume that. I'm not quick witted so I probably would be too shocked to say anything. But thinking about it now, my response would be "I'm not on a diet" just to embarrass him/her. I truly feel, like you, this isn't a diet, this is healthy eating. I'm sorry this happened to you! I hope you don't ever have to experience anything like this again!

cwolfman13

Personally...you can eat healthy and still have the sauce and still have the mashed potatoes...healthy doesn't happen in the vacuum of a singular meal...and really, I don't see anything inherently unhealthy in the first place in having the sauce or mashed potatoes...I'm pretty healthy and fit...I eat mashed potatoes and various sauces all of the time...and honestly, a night out without kids and I'm just going to enjoy myself...but that's just me.

Also, no...I don't feel weird if I have a special request (which is rare)...

Need2Exerc1se

Technically watching your caloric intake for the purpose of weight loss is dieting, but it was still rude of the server to say that unless you mentioned it first.

I ask for alterations to the menu in restaurants quite often whether I'm trying to lose weight or not. I don't like a lot of sauce on my food so I often order without the sauce. I never feel awkward about it because I'm paying for it. My money = my preferences.

lorrpb

What a great NSV for you! She's the one who was wrong, not you. You don't need to feel awkward because other people are ignorant. Beyond that, do what is important to you. Any feeling of awkwardness last only a few seconds whereas the joy of eating success last a long time! You can always ask for sauces on the side & dip your fork jnto it before stabbing the food if you want a taste.

Jruzer

Why do you say that mashed potatoes, sauces, or sesame crusts are "crap" foods?

100df

Sauces and mashed potatoes are not unhealthy uless they push you out of your deficit.

Even when eating within my maintenence goal, sauces and mashed potatoes could push me over. That's fine unless I was over the day before or going to be over the next day. Sauces and mashed potatoes will always need to be planned for because of the calorie count.

I don't feel weird asking for special requests like asking for the sauce to be served on the side or change out potatoes/fries for vegetables. One place charges $2 for changes or substitutes. That's fine with me.

I wouldn't ask that something be cooked differently like asking for baked chicken if fried chicken was on the menu.

brb_2013

Jruzer wrote: »

Why do you say that mashed potatoes, sauces, or sesame crusts are "crap" foods?

It's a personal choice and their own decision, why do you feel the need to question it?

I also think the server was rude. You could also have allergies or simply not enjoy sauce, making assumptions is impolite for sure and you should have been made to feel awkward for your dinner choices. I had a waiter call me out for ordering a salad when the rest of the table had pasta and I had my dressing on the side. I just said "When you go out with my friends you can go ahead and order a pasta dish, I would still like my chicken salad with the dressing on the side please"

Special requests are fine so long as you're not asking for major changes. A sauce is easily left off, veggies are easily swapped. I also would have swapped out mashed potatoes, I'd prefer something with a bit more nutritional value. Not that a potato has none but I definitely find zucchini more appealing!

Order what you want, when you want, for whatever reason and don't feel obligated to explain nothin' to no one!

tulips_and_tea

Good for you! Ignore what the server said. Yes, it was rude but I think we encounter rude or not-well-thought-out comments by people regularly. Don't take it personally!

Also, get rid of the awkward feeling. Order with confidence. It's okay to make special requests. Just be polite and if they get it right thank them and tip well. I make special requests all the time. The more you do it the more confident you become and it's much less noticeable to others and becomes the norm.

Jruzer

brb_2013 wrote: »

Jruzer wrote: »

Why do you say that mashed potatoes, sauces, or sesame crusts are "crap" foods?

It's a personal choice and their own decision, why do you feel the need to question it?

OP posted on a public forum on a website focused on health and diet. If she is free to post then so am I. She can order and eat what she likes with no objection from me. Go nuts.

But quite frankly I am weary of food being called "crap." How the dickens are mashed potatoes "crap?" Potatoes are extremely nutritious.

If "crap"="energy dense", then bring on the "crap." If "crap" = "whatever I don't like", then it's as meaningless a term as "clean."

vegmebuff

For planning, I always get online and look up the menu first and decide what to order.

BZAH10 wrote: »

Good for you! Ignore what the server said. Yes, it was rude but I think we encounter rude or not-well-thought-out comments by people regularly. Don't take it personally!

Also, get rid of the awkward feeling. Order with confidence. It's okay to make special requests. Just be polite and if they get it right thank them and tip well. I make special requests all the time. The more you do it the more confident you become and it's much less noticeable to others and becomes the norm.

I agree^
I do it all the time - who cares what others may think. You certainly have every right to your requests and what goes into your body.

jagodfrey08

For those asking about why I call it "crap..." Many sauces are loaded with processed things, including sugar, which I am trying to avoid as a prediabetic. I also lumped in mashed potatoes as they are high in calories and are quite starchy compared to ordering additional squash. Anyway. Thanks to everyone for the advice a day support! I greatly appreciate it.

mcsmith4

I love that jagodfrey08 is thinking ahead, planning, and coming up with good strategies to eat healthy. I look on a
menu online too before I go. I ask for sauce on the side so I can try one taste. If I planned ahead I might get mashed potatoes but sometimes I know I really need more green veggies. Some far all restaurants have understood.

jagodfrey08

mcsmith4 wrote: »

I love that jagodfrey08 is thinking ahead, planning, and coming up with good strategies to eat healthy. I look on a
menu online too before I go. I ask for sauce on the side so I can try one taste. If I planned ahead I might get mashed potatoes but sometimes I know I really need more green veggies. Some far all restaurants have understood.

I usually try to look at the menu ahead of time, but this place didn't have one. Apparently, they change their menu every couple of weeks. High turnover rate among the staff, too. At least the tuna was outstanding...even without the sauce and crust. Lol Thankfully, most of the larger chain restaurants have their menus and nutritional data available online.