Please help! I can't get in the right frame of mind to start a weight loss plan!

moldovitsa

Hi all! I'm logging back in after quite some time and it's even harder seeing that since I last logged in I gained 20 lbs. I've been thinking for a while now that I need to do something to reign this weight gain in, but I just can't get myself in the right mindset to actually do it.

None of my clothes fit me anymore and my gut is out of control, so definitely lots of daily reminders of my problem. Despite all this, I just can't get there! I guess I keep thinking about how hard it is and how I'll have to give up all the things I enjoy and the fact that I can never stop- the minute I stop, the weight just comes right back on. I have no idea how people actually do it and stick with it.

Someone I've know a long time ago who used to be obese, just lost a lot of weight and I was surprised by how great she looks and what a transformation occurred in her. Some of my thoughts are" well, she had to lose a lot more and she did, so you can too."...but then right away I start thinking that I just can't...it's too hard etc...

I love having cocktails and enjoy greasy chinese food- do I have to say goodbye to all of that? Working out is difficult also. I have soft muscle tissue damage and I feel a lot of pain when I work out and after. I just feel stuck and don't have a support system to go to. I thought I'd reach out here and maybe someone who felt the same found a way to change their thinking and have been successful long-term- maybe they could share something that would finally get me thinking right about this. I'm very aware of the fact that it's mind over matter. In fact, I often turn to food to self-medicate. It scares me that if I cut that back down, I won't be able to cope somehow. Sorry, for the long-winded post and please if you have any advice, I'd very much appreciate it. I need a good kick in the behind to get going and make a change in my life. Thank you in advance!

Redwineandmuscles

Just my 2 cents: make a small change, and keep trying. If you have a day of gluttony, change it up tomorrow. Keep it simple and do the easiest thing first. For example, just track calories every day, and go for a walk. Or drink water instead of eating an extra snack. Personally, when I'm having a bad day, I'll just do some housework wearing a fit bit and know that this is better than nothing, or I'll just do ten minutes of squats and rows. Just a little can go a long way towards how you feel about yourself.

mathandcats

I think maybe you need to figure out a plan that will allow you to still have these treats you like. You absolutely do not have to give up cocktails and greasy chinese food, you just have to figure out how to make these fit. You may find it easier to have a plan with X days at a lower calorie intake and the remainder higher so that you can fit these indulgences on those other days. For example, I find by alternating 1500cal one day and 1700-1800 the next, I am able to satisfy my massive sweet tooth and stay on track. I hit my desired average calorie intake of 1600-1650 over the week, and it works much better for me than if I tried to stick to that number every single day instead. Some people take it more extreme and do intermittent fasting. You just have to figure out what you need to be satisfied, and develop a plan to address those things. A good thing to remember is that having a plan you can stick to long term (requires not feeling deprived) is the key to success - even if you lose at a relatively slow pace, consistent loss will add up over time, and you will learn how to make the changes needed to make this last. As you've said, you need to learn new habits to avoid regaining the weight you lose.

pebble4321

I don't know what the trick is to get into the right mindset... but sometimes I think you just have to start anyway.
For me, it helps to start with only a small calorie deficit so that I can see that I do have lots of calories available in my diary, I don't have to give up everything and live on kale and brown rice for the rest of the life.
I have my goals set to lose 0.25kg a week. That means a small calorie deficit, but depending on exercise and how I'm feeling, I quite often eat less (and sometimes more). I'm actually losing closer to 0.4 or so a week, but having the smaller goals makes it feel more achievable and less daunting.

I also look for goals beyond weight loss - signing up for races helps me to get out of the door and exercise, even when it's cold and dark in the mornings and I really just want to stay in bed.
That might not be your sort of thing... but have a think about what's important in your life and how can you make a goal that will encourage you to do the things you know you would like to. Is there a park that you love and want to walk around? Can you get to a pool to exercise? Will losing weight help you to do these (and other things) more comfortably and easily?

CraigontheCoast

You'll lose weight (or gain it) because of the actions you take, not your frame of mind. If you're looking for a way to stop wanting to overeat, I'm not sure that exists. You just have to make better choices regardless. I think the kick in the behind you're looking for is just to start doing it and stop waiting to feel a certain way.