How to NOT look slimmer with make up. [PIC HEAVY]
BathtubBadger
Posts: 217 Member
in Chit-Chat
DISCLAIMER: I know this is not EGO magazine. Please have some sense of humor if you want to continue reading :-)
So I had a date.
I am the former hot kid who suddenly got punched by life and gained --a lot-- of weight, just like that. This guy had seen me when I was still the hot kid. We were going out after 4 years and well... I wanted to look good.
I am addicted to cosmetics. Call me vain, but the first thing I did was looking online for tips on how to look slimmer without chopping off the flabs hanging from my arms (as much as I'd LOVE to do that) and hiding that obnoxious double chin that sometimes shows up in pictures -- HELL, I never see you, double chin, where the F*** did you come from??!
Anyway. I found this:
I already had a sense it wouldn't work since well... The model is already slim and she is WHITE.
This is me, trying the same technique:
"Am I pretty yet?"
The duck face and V are to complement the atmosphere. I rarely feel this stupid. Especially when sober.
Okay. Maybe I should blend all this plaster covering my face and see where it leads.
Alright. Let's stop right here.
I wanted to look skinny. Yes.
The only way I could possibly get lucky with this look was hoping the guy had a fetish for wax dolls. WHERE THE HELL DID MY PORES GO? And man, come on, after blending... It doesn't even look like I changed anything other than covering every spot of my face with some sort of sticky mortar.
So I read that you could get a similar effect without carrying so much on sticky concealers. Instead, you would use a bronzer powder or dark blusher. Sounded alright.
But no. When it comes to me, it can't just be that easy.
Not satisfied with all the mortar, I had to ALSO make it look like someone hit me in the face with a brick. Beautiful, except that the guy I wanted to date wasn't a construction worker. So I washed it all off. And I decided to do it my way:
Just a little bit of a matte brown eyeshadow under the jawline and right under the cheekbones. Then a little bit of a brighter one under the eyebrow and on top of the cheekbone, and blended it all together:
The final thing looked something like this:
I actually think I look good with pores AND acne AND make up. Because I am not a wax doll. And you know what? I am working my *kitten* off to get fit again, so if this guy has something against the fact I gained a few (dozens of) pounds, maybe he doesn't deserve me, right? Heh, I wish my self esteem were that high. One way or another, there's always plan B:
THIS baby. With this baby, I'll look just fine, no matter what.
So I had a date.
I am the former hot kid who suddenly got punched by life and gained --a lot-- of weight, just like that. This guy had seen me when I was still the hot kid. We were going out after 4 years and well... I wanted to look good.
I am addicted to cosmetics. Call me vain, but the first thing I did was looking online for tips on how to look slimmer without chopping off the flabs hanging from my arms (as much as I'd LOVE to do that) and hiding that obnoxious double chin that sometimes shows up in pictures -- HELL, I never see you, double chin, where the F*** did you come from??!
Anyway. I found this:
I already had a sense it wouldn't work since well... The model is already slim and she is WHITE.
This is me, trying the same technique:
"Am I pretty yet?"
The duck face and V are to complement the atmosphere. I rarely feel this stupid. Especially when sober.
Okay. Maybe I should blend all this plaster covering my face and see where it leads.
Alright. Let's stop right here.
I wanted to look skinny. Yes.
The only way I could possibly get lucky with this look was hoping the guy had a fetish for wax dolls. WHERE THE HELL DID MY PORES GO? And man, come on, after blending... It doesn't even look like I changed anything other than covering every spot of my face with some sort of sticky mortar.
So I read that you could get a similar effect without carrying so much on sticky concealers. Instead, you would use a bronzer powder or dark blusher. Sounded alright.
But no. When it comes to me, it can't just be that easy.
Not satisfied with all the mortar, I had to ALSO make it look like someone hit me in the face with a brick. Beautiful, except that the guy I wanted to date wasn't a construction worker. So I washed it all off. And I decided to do it my way:
Just a little bit of a matte brown eyeshadow under the jawline and right under the cheekbones. Then a little bit of a brighter one under the eyebrow and on top of the cheekbone, and blended it all together:
The final thing looked something like this:
I actually think I look good with pores AND acne AND make up. Because I am not a wax doll. And you know what? I am working my *kitten* off to get fit again, so if this guy has something against the fact I gained a few (dozens of) pounds, maybe he doesn't deserve me, right? Heh, I wish my self esteem were that high. One way or another, there's always plan B:
THIS baby. With this baby, I'll look just fine, no matter what.
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Replies
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Yay
Got pics to work on my first try! 0 -
That was hilarious.
You look great :drinker: 0 -
LOL! Great sense of humor! You're stunning and he'd be a nutter if he didn't think so. Relax and enjoy that beer :drinker:0
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Thanks!! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: You're all invited for a round, I bet you're all much more fun than that pooper anyway!0
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Love this post.
Great sense of humor and beautiful to boot! If he doesn't see that, he's an idiot! Just sayin'.0 -
This was awesome.0
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Hilarious! You should start a blog, if you haven't already.
And you look beautiful! That is a perfect shade of lipstick for you. So pretty!0 -
You're hot....cuz you like good beer.
Would bang...for beer.0 -
I'm pretty sure I would have tapped that pre-blend.
5-star post.0 -
You crack me up!0
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Hilarious! You should start a blog, if you haven't already.
And you look beautiful! That is a perfect shade of lipstick for you. So pretty!
Thank you so much!
Never thought about it. Normally too busy with two jobs and university, maybe in the future :laugh:0 -
You're hot....cuz you like good beer.
Would bang...for beer.
Bia does not share beer.0 -
LOL, funny! Oh the things we'll try. Your final look was beautiful. I hope you have a great date! Just be yourself, or show him this post, so he know's you're a cool chick with a sense of humor!0
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You're hot....cuz you like good beer.
Would bang...for beer.
Bia does not share beer.
And now you are just another pretty gurl. :P0 -
You (and your pores) look fabulous! :flowerforyou:0
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You're hot....cuz you like good beer.
Would bang...for beer.
Bia does not share beer.
And now you are just another pretty gurl. :P
I make my own, though. I could sell it if you're interested! :P0 -
I
Bia Would buy a beer or dozen.
Funny how many girls I've heard say they don't want pores to show, and you embrace your pores. I think you look great :flowerforyou:0 -
Thanks for the nice comments, everyone :smooched: :blushing:0
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Love this - v funny. And love the lipstick - which shade/brand is it?0
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You look great! And you're flipping hilarious!! Thanks0
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@ SRH7 It's Ruby Woo by MAC :flowerforyou:0
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@ SRH7 It's Ruby Woo by MAC :flowerforyou:
Thanks for this, red lips are my fav. 0 -
I Bia Would buy a beer or dozen.
Funny how many girls I've heard say they don't want pores to show, and you embrace your pores. I think you look great :flowerforyou:
Awwh
Who DOESN'T have pores? Some things about females that I'll never understand :laugh:0 -
HoneyBia, a couple of things: 1) NEVER go out with a guy who is only superficial (ok, maybe if you want a one night thing, then grab it and play it), reality is that he will never treat you as you should be treated. And if he does for the first three months, he probably won't three years later. 2) This was just Fuxxing hilarious! I read it all the way through and just loved the commentary. I really am lucky to be one of your friends on MFP.0
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great post, you have a great sense of humour! You look great, just the way you are.0
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@ SRH7 It's Ruby Woo by MAC :flowerforyou:
:flowerforyou: *Rushes off to buy it*0 -
Pretty and funny!
Youre fab!0 -
Ah good ole booze, without it I don't think half of us would be here :-P0
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HoneyBia, a couple of things: 1) NEVER go out with a guy who is only superficial (ok, maybe if you want a one night thing, then grab it and play it), reality is that he will never treat you as you should be treated. And if he does for the first three months, he probably won't three years later. 2) This was just Fuxxing hilarious! I read it all the way through and just loved the commentary. I really am lucky to be one of your friends on MFP.
You are GREAT, Chet! First friend in here :-) We need to go and grab a few doses together sometime 0 -
Loved your post:drinker: everyone looks better with a couple of drinks in hand.
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