Compliments?

lillypad4495

Afternoon all I hope your all having a pleasant day ☺️. I've lost 2 stone 9lbs since April, dropped 2 dress sizes and I feel much healthier. However people are really noticing my loss now and everywhere I go I keep getting told how well and lovely I look. Even a male member of staff has started flirting with me and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I've never been a person to enjoy attention, I like to be left alone if you like. I'm losing the weight for myself not for anyone else. It's making me feel uneasy and as though people didn't like me the way I was before? Is anybody else dealing with these feelings or is it just me being silly ??

brower47

It's new. Once you've been at your new weight for a while, it won't be new to the people who knew you before. Attention from strangers bothering you, practice your RBF. It works very well at keeping attention away.

Maxematics

I've dealt with it and in my case it never stopped. I've noticed that people, especially coworkers, love to chit chat about nonsense. You've lost weight, which is something that many people want for themselves but fail at achieving, so unfortunately you're going to be the talk of the town for a while. A smile and nod or just a nod will do, but if anyone crosses a line then you need to speak up for yourself if needed. It can be awkward and difficult, but people never expect it, so sometimes it takes care of things.

It does get annoying though. Some people thrive on attention, but others don't. I am an introvert and I don't really care too much for socializing even a little bit, nor do I care about attention based on sexual attraction, so my way of dealing with any attention or comments is to stare right past the person, ignoring anything they're saying, or simply responding with an "mmhmm, okay". It's seen as rude, but I honestly don't care.

Anyway, on a more positive note, congratulations on your weight loss thus far! I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

ogtmama

I've heard it's quite common though I can't imagine not liking to hear you look nice. Congratulations on all you're hard work and try to remember that they're just trying to be kind...and there can't be too much wrong with kindness when given the alternative.

Duchy82

I never get compliments it's usually the husband who gets told how great I look
It would be nice if people told me instead but I suppose I will settle for indirect praise.

jemhh

Just say "thank you" and move on. If you don't stop to gab about it 99% of people will not try to engage you further on the subject. The other 1% aren't worth worrying about.

For every person who doesn't like compliments post-weight loss, there is another person who is disappointed not to get such compliments. There truly is no winning for anybody when it comes to this subject.

lillypad4495

As a child I grew up being insulted and put down. I don't have a very high self esteem and I find it embarrassing when anybody says anything nice, because I'm not used to it.

zyxst

lillypad4495 wrote: »

As a child I grew up being insulted and put down. I don't have a very high self esteem and I find it embarrassing when anybody says anything nice, because I'm not used to it.

+1

When someone compliments me about my weight, I say thanks and start praying to anyone listening "please let this person shut up and move on to something else". No, they want to keep talking about how healthier I must be, how better I must feel, how I must not eat certain foods, etc. etc.. Outside, I'm pleasant and "yes, yes, it's hard" but inside I'm

shadowfax_c11

Consider this.

You can't control how other people behave. You can only control how you respond to them.

Change your focus.

Dove0804

I understand your feelings completely, OP. This is my second time around the block- I noticed how differently I was treated when I lost a decent amount of weight in high school, and how that changed again as I gained weight back (and then a lot more). It can be really discouraging.

I've lost a lot of weight again (~65 lbs), but still obese, and the difference of how I was once treated enters my mind quite frequently. I wonder how it will be when I get closer to goal?
I identify so much with your statement "I'm losing the weight for myself not for anyone else".
As others said, the novelty will wear off when it comes to your friends and acquaintances as this becomes your new normal. Try to stick it out and keep being you!