Motivation to find the time: full-time career with a family

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Linzjohnston
Linzjohnston Posts: 16 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Looking for other people facing the challenges of a demanding career and a family with young kids at home. I often have a two week streak of amazing diligent food/exercise routines followed by a week with a sick kid, swimming lessons, school functions, etc., which throws everything for a loop. Meal planning goes out the window for a couple days, my sleep goes to hell, gym takes a backseat, etc. There is always something. Even when a week goes relatively smoothly at work and in life I struggle to spend the short hours left of the day I have with my kids and spouse at the gym. So I try to get up at 4:30 to run, or I get to the gym around 9pm-10:30pm. Needless to say its hard to get there a lot of the time. And if I do I am so exhausted my time spent with my family seems wasted anyway.

I know I am not the only one facing this, looking for some support and motivation and friends to keep me moving, to relate, to offer some ideas on how to keep on track. I really need to drop 40lbs.
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Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Think easy meals... cooked/grilled protein with frozen veggies works great and it takes 10 minutes to prepare. For the gym, well, sleep is more important, so if you can't fit it in... just try and be more active during the day.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
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    Look for ways to multi-task. I combine tv watching/Netflix or reading with time on the treadmill. I look for active things to do with the family. This past Sunday night we were all wandering around a park looking for Pokemon. And sometimes I take a few minutes for ME and don't feel guilty about it.

    I work full time Mon-Fri 8am-5pm. I make use of spare time before work if traffic is light (school starts back August 1 so light morning traffic is about to be history) and at lunch. I keep deoderant/body wipes/change of clothes at work as its 90+ degrees outside and walking means I get sweaty. I work a 2nd job Friday nights & on Sunday from 11:30am-8:30pm. My kids are teens, and for years they've had their own chores/responsibilities around the house. Even for younger kids, there are things they can do to 'help out' and it teaches important life lessons. Oh, and I also just finished an MBA program, graduated this past May.
  • dmt4641
    dmt4641 Posts: 409 Member
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    Home workout dvds
    Crockpot
    Meal prep on Sunday (though I prefer fresh dinner at night, I do this for lunches and snacks)
    Make the best choices you can when you are out of the house
    Family walks/exercise together/tennis or other sport together

    One thing I have on hand is a few favorite weekly menus with a shopping list. So if it is a crazy week I don't have to think about what to eat that week, just do what I did before that we enjoyed.
  • Bearbo27
    Bearbo27 Posts: 339 Member
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    I have a super crazy life. I work full time at night, have two daughters (one in grade school, one in preschool), shuttling kids to and from school while the hubby is at work, cooking, cleaning, I am a Girl Scout leader for my daughters' troop, etc. The biggest thing is to make yourself a priority. If you don't, who will? Right now my youngest daughter is going on day 3 of being sick. I've been lacking on sleep because of taking care of her, but I've still been planning out my meals to work with my deficit. At our Girl Scout leader meeting the other day (which was at a restaurant), I chose a side salad for lunch instead of some high calorie meal. I've been fitting everything else in around it and I've been seeing results. Yes my house may have some toys on the floor, I may still have a to do list a mile long, but my health is near the top of that list.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    dmt4641 wrote: »
    Home workout dvds
    Crockpot
    Meal prep on Sunday (though I prefer fresh dinner at night, I do this for lunches and snacks)
    Make the best choices you can when you are out of the house
    Family walks/exercise together/tennis or other sport together

    One thing I have on hand is a few favorite weekly menus with a shopping list. So if it is a crazy week I don't have to think about what to eat that week, just do what I did before that we enjoyed.

    Good call. I use mine as well.

    I often eat leftovers for my lunch.

    and I agree...exercise is not a requirement for weight loss...it's for health and fitness and that will follow trust me.
  • bbordner
    bbordner Posts: 59 Member
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    I have four sons and my wife doesn't get home until well after I do, so when I get home the routine is making sure homework is done, making sure chores were done, break up arguments, make dinner, feed kids, get kids ready for bed. By this time it is usually already around 8 or 9 pm. Then it's work on my college classes or take a few minutes to do something I want to do. I despise getting up in the morning any earlier than I have to, largely because I had to get up really early for the first 20 years of my adult life.

    I got fed up because I wasn't exercising regularly and decided I needed to do something about it. So I started going to a nearby gym during my lunch hour. I figure 30 minutes at least three times a week during lunch is better than no minutes at all (which is what I was doing). Committing to three days per week as a minimum gives me some leeway in case work is busy so I don't feel guilty about it, but I do usually go each weekday. Then, for the benefit of my co-workers, I take a quick shower at the gym before going back. That shower usually feels better and more refreshing than the one in the morning for some reason.

    For meals, I don't prep dinner, but do make my lunches for the week on Sunday and toss them in the freezer. To be honest though, that's more to keep me from going overboard on calories at lunch and to reduce the amount of time I spend packing my lunch in the morning than anything else.

    Since I started following this routine about 2.5 months ago, I've gone down 14 lbs. It worked for me. It might work for you, it might not. The key is to find a way to make it a habit that you can incorporate into your lifestyle rather than making it another stress factor in your life.
  • one1fast68
    one1fast68 Posts: 51 Member
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    Like others have said. You don't have to exercise to loose weight. Log your calories and adjust how many calories your eating by how much weight you loose or gain. MFP will give you a baseline but it might be higher or lower for you. When you make a change to your calories, give yourself 2-3 weeks at the same calories before changing. Sodium intake along with other factors can hide losses on the scale.
  • Linzjohnston
    Linzjohnston Posts: 16 Member
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    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
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    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    Pretty Minor activity level at 3 and 6 years old??? I have never heard that before, and I'd love to trade kids for a weekend (or even a night!) of pretty minor activity! Most kids at those ages are full of energy (mine included) and get a lot out of doing fun family activities together.

    Sometimes you have to put yourself first in order to put your kids first. Do you want them growing up without a mom and resenting that you couldn't be there for them? Then you need to put yourself first for a bit. It's hard. It SEEMS selfish at first. But it's not at all. Every day I wish I could have had one more day with my mom, and I feel like maybe I could have if her lifestyle had been better...you ARE putting your kids first when you invest in your health. You just need to change your perspective on it. :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    Why feel guilty? Get rid of the guilt ASAP. It has no benefit and only taps into precious energy. It's okay to eat differently. It's all about how you present it. "Mommy has different tastes" or "Mommy needs different nutrition" or however you say it, just make it positive. Offer to let the kids taste your food so that they can expand their palates as well.

    Sorry about the comment from your daughter. The things kids say sometimes. You're on the right track. Just be patient and consistent.
  • bbordner
    bbordner Posts: 59 Member
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    My third son had a habit of running around the house saying, "Dad is fat! Dad is fat! Dad is fat!" :neutral: Out of the mouths of babes, right?

    I don't make different meals. If it's something they like, I eat enough to stay in my goal for the day and stop. Other nights I figure if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for them.
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
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    You really don't have to cook any differently. You can serve yourself an extra helping of veggies to replace a pasta or rice carb if that is where you want to cut calories, you can have an overall smaller serving, you can change up the main and side dishes to suit you and add extras in for the kids or your husband who will need more calories than you. My boys ages 8-15 and my husband have always just eaten what I cook. They take extra sides, extra protein, sprinkle their potatoes with cheese or sauces, have dessert. Easy for me to cut back a bit while they maintain and grow.

    Find a few DVDs that you enjoy to workout with. I have done the gym(lunch breaks and early morn) but when I just wanted to be home with them or when time or life gets in the way then 20-40 min in front of the tv while they do homework/play Lego/look at their iPods/hang out with their dad or even join me, becomes my workout. They see me sweat, work hard, get better, and they realize that some things have to be worked for. Hopefully they can apply that as they grow.

    Good luck, carving out the time and realizing how much time you actually have can be a great challenge!
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
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    Yeah, I don't make different meals either. If I had a $1 for every time I told some kid that it was not a restaurant....Just make the chicken, pasta, and salad and eat what you want out of it.

    Now, I will offer kids the choice of a sandwich if I make something not kid friendly...like steamed crabs or something. I get that most 3 year olds aren't going to pick crabs.

    The real guilt you probably feel is that you just can't focus the amount of time you want on ANYTHING. Like you don't get time for you, you don't have enough quality time with kids or your partner, if you're like me your house might look like squatters in live it. It's hard when you feel like you are doing so many things that you aren't doing anything good...Then we compensate by neglecting ourselves to try and be super parent.

    I'm a super type A, neat freak, perfectionist. Once I had 2 kids though I had to accept that I can either lose one of the only hours I get with the family doing house work, or I can give everything a lick and a promise and spend time with my kids. Kids win. If I'm super stressed out, sometimes I NEED to workout. How much good am I doing my family stressed out of my mind? That's not quality time. Hubs is there to pick up the slack. I feel grateful everyday I married someone who is a true partner. But no, I don't get enough ME time either.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    I'm with you on the 'not very active at that age' thing, honestly! I think it depends on the kids... I have friends with kids who love walks. My kids hate it. They'll go to the park but again... at that age I basically spent my time following them to make sure they were not running off (which is activity though!).

    But nope, sorry, not making different meals in my house (nor am I eating chicken and salad every day or I would have given up after a week).
  • Erfw7471
    Erfw7471 Posts: 242 Member
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    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    I'm not sure how old you are - I'm 43 and I just can't express enough how I wish I took care of myself sooner. I have 4 kids, work, have a farm that I help take care of, and have a handicapped parent that lives with us that we care for.

    I also now have health issues that I am beginning to deal with myself and I'm really having to become "selfish" about what I must do for me. I can no longer sacrifice so much of myself without paying the physical price so I now do what I need to do for me *so that I am capable of doing for others*. I'm no good to anyone else if I let myself go - I just can't live that way anymore.

    Start with your diet, simple foods. Batch cook, crockpot, get your family exposed to other foods. Plan. Re-evaluate how you spend your time and drop what just isn't as important. Home workouts/home gym. If you really want it you'll make it happen. Good luck.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    Erfw7471 wrote: »
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    I'm not sure how old you are - I'm 43 and I just can't express enough how I wish I took care of myself sooner. I have 4 kids, work, have a farm that I help take care of, and have a handicapped parent that lives with us that we care for.

    I also now have health issues that I am beginning to deal with myself and I'm really having to become "selfish" about what I must do for me. I can no longer sacrifice so much of myself without paying the physical price so I now do what I need to do for me *so that I am capable of doing for others*. I'm no good to anyone else if I let myself go - I just can't live that way anymore.

    Start with your diet, simple foods. Batch cook, crockpot, get your family exposed to other foods. Plan. Re-evaluate how you spend your time and drop what just isn't as important. Home workouts/home gym. If you really want it you'll make it happen. Good luck.

    I just wanted to second this! So many women seem to think "putting my kids first" means not putting themselves anywhere on the list. Then when they get older they start to suffer the health issues years of being overweight and sedentary can cause, and now they can't enjoy/help out with their grandkids. One of the best things you can do for your children is model a healthy lifestyle for them - Children learn more from what we do than from what we say to them.

    You don't have to "put yourself first", but you are doing your family a disservice if you teach them that mom's health, preferences, and time aren't just as important as everyone else's. Maybe try flat out asking them for help? Mommy wants to be more healthy, can you guys come for a walk with me? Mommy wants to eat better, can we start trying new vegetables?

    I know it's easier said than done, but you WILL figure it out, good luck! :drinker:

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