Doing it on your own with no support.

leebirm

Is anyone else here suffering in silence with their weight loss journey?

I haven't told anyone about it, I know that I would get extremely annoyed if I had people pulling me up if I decide to have a little treat, the only thing that makes it difficult is when food is offered and I have to turn it down and people get a little confused (this mainly happens at work) as I am normally the first one with my hand in the cookie jar.

Does anyone else have this problem and how do you deal with it?

p.s. for the record I'm actually getting on alright I was just wondering what other peoples take on it was

BigTandthesquatters

I told no one about my adventure except my family as there was some health issues in the beginning that got me started. I like no one knowing its like I have complete control over something. It is also a weird motivator because I am pissed that after a year no one has noticed I lost 87 lbs. So I know at least I'll keep going until someone who has known me at 500lbs says something about it now that I way 413(and still going).

abitofbliss

I don't really like to talk about it. At work people see that I am eating healthy, that I walk on my breaks, and most everyone knows I ride my bike to work. I mostly get positive comments so it doesn't bother me but I do wish it wasn't so apparent. Sometimes letting other people know can be encouraging.

Definitely make some friends that you can relate to on here and talk to them often.. It will give you some release and someone to vent to and they likely can use the communication as well.

tulips_and_tea

OP, don't worry about what your co-workers think. Just say, "no thank you" and move on. End of conversation. You don't owe them an explanation and nine times out of ten they'd all have something to say about it, but you don't need to be bogged down with that. Just be consistent and they'll adjust.

@BigTandthesquatters, congrats on your loss! I'm sure people have noticed but they probably don't know what to say. It's a touchy topic and everyone takes comments differently. Just keep it up. Your health is the main thing.

kendahlj

I told my co-workers my goals so they don't think I'm a dick when they ask me to go to lunch every day and I say no. They've also stopped offering me the garbage they bring in...

purplemoonpie

I do not talk about it. My friends and co-workers do not understand. I do it in silence and politely pass up on the junk food that is offered on a daily basis. I'll just hear comments like "you don't need to lose weight"..."you're beautiful like you are"...."you're crazy for eating cottage cheese...GROSS!" . One lady even acted like I was suffering from some sort of food disorder and needed psychiatric help for not wanting Lay's potato chips. Telling me to "not go overboard"........I just don't want greasy potato chips..k lady?

people at my work are generally fat, lazy and eat fast food all day. (for breakfast and lunch). No one understands "diets". They def rag me for trying to be healthy...generally just the crap food pusher mentality. No one likes to see someone else do better than them.

purplemoonpie

@BigTandthesquatters I feel your pain about no one commenting on your weight loss. I've dealt with this many times. Once I lost 30 lbs and got pretty shredded, I saw a good friend from college and she looked me up and down but said nothing. Generally most people will not say anything. I agree with BZAH10 , it can be a touchy topic and maybe people don't want to offend? Also, some people are just urked to see someone else succeed at weight loss b/c it's not easy. But congratulations on your loss and keep it up!

bekim123

I've told my close friends at work, so they understand when I turn down offers of food. I don't broadcast it beyond family and friends. Of course, sometimes I'll take them up on their treat and just try to work it in my calories for the day or move on to the next meal and day. I've found that always denying myself something that I like makes me crave it all the more, and can lead to really blowing things down the road. Better to have a little and satisfy the craving than living a life that sucks because you can't eat what you want.

deborahofmoore

I don't talk about it, just because some of my husband's family LOVES to talk about diets/weight/weight loss in an over the top and (in my opinion) unhealthy/obsessive way. Since I have 2 daughters I don't want them to get a barrage of weight loss talk-any more than they already have to be exposed to. Instead, to those who notice, I mention that I'm working on habits to improve my overall health. That I have a lot of family history with heart disease, high blood pressure and auto immune diseases, so I am doing my best to make choices that will help my body, not only now, but in the long run. (That being said, I don't usually mention which habits I'm working on because having someone ask "should you really be eating that", or other judgments on food doesn't motivate me to eat healthier, just to eat less healthy options in secret. So to curb this unhealthy secretive habit, I haven't bothering mentioning specifics with health other than drinking a lot of water and things like that)

rbeardsteel

I've got the same issue insofar as no support...I do what's right for me so that I can get to a place that I want to reach. I'm not beholden to anyone for how I look or what I choose to eat, it's my choice and if I want something healthy then so be it, if I choose something that isn't very healthy, then I have less of it.

Insofar as the people closest to me, my wife and daughter, even they don't necessarily get what I'm trying to do, they both say that they need to lose weight, but never do anything about it. I've chosen to do something about my weight because it's not healthy for me to be as heavy as I am (6'0", 275lbs).

Though I've just restarted my journey, I find that I'm passing on a lot of things that I used to eat, recording what I do have in my diary and holding myself accountable. If I slip up, which has happened, I record it and do better the next day. If I do well for a day, I pat myself on the back and look forward to the next day.

While support and such might be the right answer for some, I find that wanting to do it for myself and relying on myself are the keys to success. No one else has to know what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I am my most critical judge, and regardless of what others say or do...I ensure that I'm doing right by me and that I'm doing the things that I know will yield results like a good diet and exercise.

Whitezombiegirl

I guess Im lucky in that my workplace doesn't 'push' food. If they bring in treats they leave them in the office for people to help themselves. No one monitors what each other has. Plus most people are trying to eat healthy- if they do buy a treat - its one they have bought for themselves because they wanted it. I felt a bit sorry for a new lady who used to make gourmet cupcakes for her last lot of colleagues (its her side business) but in this job they just got left, so she stopped.

I don't tell anyone I'm trying to lose a pound or two (that I've gained) to fit my clothes a bit better. I have had comments when I first joined - and someone asked me whether I was bulimic , since I had already replied I wasn't anorexic! Not cool. They have got used to my daily salads now too- they used to think it was 'diet' food- but really I just love salad. I've had variations on it everyday for the last 8 years!

almostanangel21

I keep my mouth shut; even my husband doesn't know. He's one of the reasons why I'm doing this in the first place. It's amusing, because he's started copying me - he saw me doing a kettlebell workout one day and decided to try it, and he's kept on with it for a couple of weeks. I started making fruit salad for the week about a month ago; he immediately started asking for containers of it to take to work, and now he's opining about what fruits he'd like in it.

However, I haven't said anything to my friends and I'm not saying a word to my classmates when school starts again, because the other reason I'm trying to lose weight is so that I can get an internship and then a job when I graduate. I don't feel like answering questions about how/what I'm doing, getting into endless conversations about which diet is better/what foods are evil because our ancestors with a life expectancy of 28 years didn't eat them/"you should be doing this for you"/blah blah blah. In fact, it makes me feel better to keep this as my secret mission, for some reason.

I've found that the best tactic for questions on any subject you don't want to get into is deflection. Next time you pass up a treat, ask the person offering a question about something you know they love to talk about before they get a chance to ask you why you're not taking a cupcake. E.g. "No thanks. Oh! I meant to ask you, I love those sandals, where did you get them?" Or "No, I didn't watch the debate/interview/speech. By the way, how's that new business going?" Or "Wow, I didn't know that our new alien overlords are about to land on earth and enslave us all. That's so interesting. Have you seen 'Finding Dory' yet?"

cariduttry

personally, i'm more of a loner when it comes to this kind of thing. i don't really want "accountability friends" or to try and lose weight in a group...i'm barely responsible for my own eating habit, so i don't want to have to feel like i have to look out for someone else and i know i'll get irked if i'm put in a position to explain myself (as in, if i'm confronted on why i'm eating something). i've always been independent/rebellious/difficult that sort of way.

that being said, it's not like i have zero support. my hubby and close family/friends know what i'm doing and are supportive. if they ask for advice or inquire into what/why i'm doing, i'm eager to explain...but typically keep to myself unless specifically asked.

Machka9

The only person I told was my husband ... and mainly because he cooks dinner so since I needed to make changes to dinner if I was going to be successful, he had to be in on it.

There was no way on earth I was going to tell anyone at work or university or anywhere else.

Lounmoun

I only told the people I live with (dh & dd) about my weight loss goals.
If I don't want something I just say no thanks or I don't want anything right now.
I have MFP for support.

You don't have to explain, defend or talk about your food choices if you don't want to. Quite frankly no one cares much that you don't take a cookie. They are just being polite offering it to everyone. If you do want to say something you could just say you are cutting back on sweets.

lemurcat12

leebirm wrote: »

Is anyone else here suffering in silence with their weight loss journey?

No, because I did not suffer. I found losing weight pretty empowering and enjoyable on the whole.

I haven't told anyone about it, I know that I would get extremely annoyed if I had people pulling me up if I decide to have a little treat, the only thing that makes it difficult is when food is offered and I have to turn it down and people get a little confused (this mainly happens at work) as I am normally the first one with my hand in the cookie jar.

I didn't tell anyone either, since I do better not feeling watched, and I figured why tell anyone, as they'd find out when I was successful, as I tend to think talking about what you are going to do before you do it can be unhelpful.

I just let them wonder if food was offered and I didn't take it (or if they noticed me removing bread from a sandwich or some such). I'd deflect any comments with "not in the mood" or the like.

BrettWithPKU

I am 100% loner, as far as MFP goes. I have no MFP friends, by choice. Motivation doesn't have any effect on me, and historically, the positive reinforcement I receive from people who notice I've been losing weight (and I know they have good intentions) only serves as a poison pill; I become content and often end up stopping well short of my goals.

Only my wife knows I'm actively trying to lose weight, though I don't even keep her current on my progress unless she asks.

kmidash

There are lots of reasons for avoiding "bad" foods. Allergy, health issues, complexion issues etc.. your business is your own, politely brush it off and if you have to say something, you can always say its a health issue I don't want to discuss. Good luck and stay strong, your doing this for the best possible reason- yourself!

hypodonthaveme

There are only a select few that know my journey. People see the loss, but they don't know why I lost weigh, how I'm losing, or the mental and emotional feelings that go with it. Frankly most people I know could careless. My biggest issues are with people who never spoke to me now say " you look good" um I didn't before? I've lost weight and now you can say hi? So I deal with that. I am as polite as I can be back. I usually say thank you and ask how they are doing. Then go about my business. I don't discuss it. I will answer if someone asks , but that hasn't happened.

When I go to my mom's we take food. Like next time we go down we will take stuff for fajitas. My husband makes his no salt fajita seasonings and I will put mine on a lettuce wrap while others have theses in the tortilla wraps. No biggy to me. Just like if my hubby has spaghetti and meatballs. I will have the meatballs with a salad instead of pasta. I do this because refined carbs and hypothyroidism doesn't mix well.

It's hard sometimes to be polite in a world that don't care or don't want to try to understand others. Acceptance is hard and harder when it hit the heart. Especially when you do something or not do something and that friend, knows he/ she should or should not be doing it either.

Keep your chin up. It will get easier as time goes on.

k8mcminn

Husband and I are doing it together so he is my support. We have both lost 17 lbs and only one person has mentioned it but that does not bother me. It feels great to be able to wear shorts this summer!

smantha32

leebirm wrote: »

Is anyone else here suffering in silence with their weight loss journey?

There's really no such thing as "support". One way or the other you're always doing it alone.
Looking for compliments, or encouragement from others is mostly disappointing.