Trying to lose weight while dealing with binge eating & body dysmorphic disorder

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melissa_dahmer
melissa_dahmer Posts: 29 Member
edited July 2016 in Motivation and Support
Anyone else have issues with binge eating? It's hellacious to try and lose weight while constantly fighting the desire to eat. I'm not just talking about cravings, but a serious obsession with food. Most of the time while eating, I'm already thinking about what & when I can eat next. it's MADDENING!

As for the BDD, I used to be over 200lbs (I'm 5'8", 28 years old). When I was 18, I decided to do something about it, and began to exercise and control my portions & calories (basically WW). Since then, I have fluctuated in weight, getting as low as 138lbs (unhealthily, with the use of laxatives and extreme exercising), and as high as 180lbs.

Even at my lowest weights, when I look in the mirror, I still see that heavy 18-year-old from time to time. I try and tell myself it's all in my head, but that voice is so powerful that it can be hard to quell.

Looking for supportive people who are experiencing the same or similar. :smile:

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  • Imagine_if
    Imagine_if Posts: 54 Member
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    Melissa, Good morning.

    I am not sure about BDD, I'll have to look up what it means. But I can tell you this much, for far too long I've hated my body like the plague - now I'm trying to love it. Younger, until my early twenties, I was thin and slender.

    I destroyed my body with unhealthy diet pills, weight loss schemes and binge eating. I was so thin (100- 110pound range at 5ft6in) but could not, would not -plain out refused to see it. I truly thought that I was fat.

    After my first child I bounced back, actually lower than my before-pregnancy weight, within a few months. I still thought I looked ugly and despicable. At that time I didn't realize self-hate and body image and all that. I just thought something was wrong with me if I wasn't as thin as 'all' the other girls.

    Years later, now that I am medically obese and have gone through nearly twenty years of weight related drama I realize that a few weight lifting sessions and a bit more focus on healthy foods and I would've been good to go. Uuughh, hindsight!

    I'm not sure if that actually helps you to read my story, but hopefully you'll see that you are young, beautiful and worthy of a healthy body and mind and heart.

    Please stay on these boards and find your healthy way of loving yourself today and always.

    Trying to love myself today,
    Marie.

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