Low body self esteem for the first time...

hiyomi
hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone, I'm 23 years old, 5'7 and weigh 275 lbs :/ I've been a heavy girl for most of my life, I know I'm fat, but I've never really let it bother me...but due to certain things that happened last week, I have since gotten very low self esteem about my body and it really sucks and it's making me super emotional and self concious now... Now, I know I'm fat, it's not a secret, and I won't say that I'm ugly, I feel I have a pretty face, but I feel like for the first time I saw how ugly my body was and it hit me pretty hard. I know the only thing I can do is lose weight to fix that issue, and I'm trying but it still sucks in the mean time because I know it will be a lengthy process..A little motivation and support would be nice right now...I really just needed somewhere to vent this out...Have any of you guys had similar experiences?

Replies

  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 551 Member
    Many, who aren't living alone on an island, who've looked in a mirror, and been exposed to media, certainly do have similar experiences. I can't see these things going away, ever.

    hiyomi wrote: »
    I know the only thing I can do is lose weight to fix that issue, and I'm trying

    Yep. Good on you. You wont be sorry you started on the path to being the best you can be. :)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    you don't need to tell us what the things that happened last week were, but are you getting support for dealing with them?
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    edited August 2016
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    you don't need to tell us what the things that happened last week were, but are you getting support for dealing with them?

    I've talked it over with a friend tonight and I finally fessed up to my boyfriend about it as well. At first I didn't really think it was anything too important, but my friend helped me realize that sometimes it's okay to fall down and look for some support and a little coddling sometimes. :) My boyfriend won't see my messages til the morning but I'm hoping and sure he will give me some support as well. I feel a tad better getting it off my chest with my friend and I'm sure I'll feel much better when I talk it over with my boyfriend :)
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
    I'm sorry you are going through this. I have never been heavy. But we all have our insecurities -- not attractive enough, not tall enough, not tough enough, too bald (in my case!). They are heavy burdens. We shouldn't have to carry them, especially since everyone feels inadequate somehow. How can we all be inadequate? Makes no sense.
    I am glad you have your friend to talk with.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    edited August 2016
    DetroitDarin wrote: »
    hun - can you describe your dream guy? I bet most people can to a large extent. Maybe you have your dream guy, or maybe your dream guy is a fictional representation of everything you want in life. I think women from all walks of life know how easy it'd be to fall in love with that DreamMan.

    Now, if I asked you to describe your dream woman - the woman in your mind that seems to have it all together; physically and mentally/emotionally. Maybe this isn't falling-in-love, but falling-in-jealousy? A little bit?

    I encourage you to become the woman of your dreams. Become the woman you want. Become the woman you see when you close your eyes. Nobody can encourage you, ultimately. Nobody can do this for you or give you the right kick-in-the-butt. That has to come from you. Do you know your body isn't you? You are not your body the same as you are not your car. Google PrinceEA and watch some of his videos; he reminded me of the past couple ideas I've shared with you. Look, you probably have a GREAT personality - it may be time that wonderful spirit you have gets to be carried around in a rockin' body. It may be time - and ultimately only you can decide - for your inner-most self - maybe your true self - claws its way out from under the body you've created and shaped.

    If you decide to change your lifestyle - I mean really decide and want it more than you want breath, love, and yes, food - if you commit like that...there is nothing but you that can stop you.

    You Got This. I believe in you.

    This was the best post I've read all day, I loved it! Since yesterday with the few people I've talked too, I've learned that this is not the person I want to be or look like. As you said in your comment, I feel like I have an amazing personality, and now I just need the body to represent that. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be how I look, and I've never realized it until now. Before I've always wanted to lose weight to be healthy, to look nicer, to be fit, to find clothes that fit me quickly, but I've never wanted to lose weight because I felt like my weight was changing me as a person and making me a person that I truly wasn't. I've never been one to be shy, never been one to have low self confidence, and I've reached a point where that has now come true because of my high weight. It's time to change that and time to use this negative energy as something to turn into positive energy.
    Thank you for your time and amazing words, and to everyone else as well!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    I won't say I've had low body self esteem ever, but during the months of this weight loss journey I have detected an increasing number of high body self esteem moments.
  • BodyzLanguage
    BodyzLanguage Posts: 200 Member
    That does suck. My advice would be to occupy yourself with things that raise your state/make you happy. Watch movies, meet up with friends, laugh, help others however you can etc. The bottom line is to stay busy, but it helps if you're busy with things you love right?! BTW you're gorgeous, seriously :love: . Stay strong ma!
  • JennifrClaire
    JennifrClaire Posts: 141 Member
    In my experience starting from a point of disliking my body didn't really work. All the resentment had to go, first. Then I lost alot of weight.
    I appreciate that the message everywhere is "lose weight first, then love yourself", but just imagine a saying to an overweight friend you'd only love and respect her if she looked like film star? But we're taught to say this to ourselves!

    Look after your body, because you love it, rather than punish it, because you hate it, and you'll last alot longer.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    JennifrClaire wrote: »
    In my experience starting from a point of disliking my body didn't really work. All the resentment had to go, first. Then I lost alot of weight.
    I appreciate that the message everywhere is "lose weight first, then love yourself", but just imagine a saying to an overweight friend you'd only love and respect her if she looked like film star? But we're taught to say this to ourselves!

    Look after your body, because you love it, rather than punish it, because you hate it, and you'll last alot longer.

    It's kind of been backwards for me honestly. I've always loved my body and I think because of that I really let myself get outta hand. This is the first time I've ever had low self esteem about my body, but I think I almost needed it to kick me into reality that this is not the type of person I want to be!

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