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I dont know what to do....

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So I have a vacation with my boyfriend and his family coming up on August 18th. I was hoping I would've lost more than 15 pounds by now but unfortunately thats not the case. The majority of the vacation will be spent on the beach and I am in no way ready to be seen in swim wear. I'm 5 foot 3 inches and weigh about 145 ish pounds on a good day. My stomach is my BIG problem area. It's flabby and gross so no bikinis for me but I'm not a fan of tankinis or one piece swimsuits. I'm stuck. I keep telling my boyfriend that I might not swim because of how self concious I am of everything and he gets really sad. He tells me it doesn't matter what I look like and who cares what other people think. It's really sweet of him to say things like that and it's not just him, his whole family is like "What are you worried about" My confidence does get a boost but as soon as I look in the mirror I feel it all crumble away. I want to get into better shape but I don't think 6 weeks is enough time to get ready. I don't want to be the only one sitting on the beach fully clothed while everyone is enjoying themselves but its hard for me to build up the confidence. :(

Replies

  • athenasurrenders
    athenasurrenders Posts: 278 Member
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    Sounds like two different issues.

    6 weeks might not be enough time to meet your final goal, but 6 weeks of healthy food and regular exercise is better than none, right? And you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried hard, instead of thinking 'why bother' and regretting it when you get to the beach.

    The other issue is harder. I know how hard it is to have low self-esteem and it's tough. The important thing is all the people who matter - the people you are going with - all like you how you are and want you to have fun. There won't be anyone judging you. As for the rest of the world - we forget when we are at home that at the beach, just like in the supermarket, there are people of all shapes and sizes. I've got fifty pounds on you (granted I might go for a one-piece) but I'm guessing if you saw me swimming you wouldn't think 'omg look at that whale'. You probably wouldn't give me a moment's thought. People care about us much less than we think. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care about strangers and what they look like. More often than not, people don't remember you once you are out of sight. Quick! Picture five people you saw walking down the street yesterday! Hard to do, right?

    Just do the best you can with your weight loss. Do something else that makes you feel good too - haircut, manicure, whatever. And take your boyfriend bikini shopping. He thinks you look great and he will make you feel better about it. Try on some tankinis - better to wear a style you don't prefer than miss out on all the fun.
  • Darius66
    Darius66 Posts: 62 Member
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    Sounds like two different issues.

    6 weeks might not be enough time to meet your final goal, but 6 weeks of healthy food and regular exercise is better than none, right? And you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried hard, instead of thinking 'why bother' and regretting it when you get to the beach.

    The other issue is harder. I know how hard it is to have low self-esteem and it's tough. The important thing is all the people who matter - the people you are going with - all like you how you are and want you to have fun. There won't be anyone judging you. As for the rest of the world - we forget when we are at home that at the beach, just like in the supermarket, there are people of all shapes and sizes. I've got fifty pounds on you (granted I might go for a one-piece) but I'm guessing if you saw me swimming you wouldn't think 'omg look at that whale'. You probably wouldn't give me a moment's thought. People care about us much less than we think. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care about strangers and what they look like. More often than not, people don't remember you once you are out of sight. Quick! Picture five people you saw walking down the street yesterday! Hard to do, right?

    Just do the best you can with your weight loss. Do something else that makes you feel good too - haircut, manicure, whatever. And take your boyfriend bikini shopping. He thinks you look great and he will make you feel better about it. Try on some tankinis - better to wear a style you don't prefer than miss out on all the fun.

    That is a great response!
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Sounds like two different issues.

    6 weeks might not be enough time to meet your final goal, but 6 weeks of healthy food and regular exercise is better than none, right? And you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried hard, instead of thinking 'why bother' and regretting it when you get to the beach.

    The other issue is harder. I know how hard it is to have low self-esteem and it's tough. The important thing is all the people who matter - the people you are going with - all like you how you are and want you to have fun. There won't be anyone judging you. As for the rest of the world - we forget when we are at home that at the beach, just like in the supermarket, there are people of all shapes and sizes. I've got fifty pounds on you (granted I might go for a one-piece) but I'm guessing if you saw me swimming you wouldn't think 'omg look at that whale'. You probably wouldn't give me a moment's thought. People care about us much less than we think. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care about strangers and what they look like. More often than not, people don't remember you once you are out of sight. Quick! Picture five people you saw walking down the street yesterday! Hard to do, right?

    Just do the best you can with your weight loss. Do something else that makes you feel good too - haircut, manicure, whatever. And take your boyfriend bikini shopping. He thinks you look great and he will make you feel better about it. Try on some tankinis - better to wear a style you don't prefer than miss out on all the fun.

    That is a great response!

    yeah it really really is! I don't know anything else I could even add to it. :flowerforyou:
  • Elisabeth2016
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    I know how you feel Im around the same height and weight as you and swim suits are horrible for me. I wont be a hypocrite and say not to worry about what others think because I cant even do that. My suggestion is to where the tank style swim top and try out surfer style swimshorts. You still shouldn't worry what others think, but I know how you feel and this is the best I can tell you.
  • WestCoastWild
    WestCoastWild Posts: 147 Member
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    Original response is perfect!

    Im the same height and weight as you, and I love my bikinis :D Mostly because I know nobody else cares, I hate being covered in wet fabric when the sun is out and shining, and I know that I am on my way to the body I want to have. How I look right this minute does not define who I am, and I know Ill look different eventually (when Im more in shape and have figured out how to keep from boredom eating at school). Plus, six weeks is plenty of time. Try not to focus on it or worry about it! It's vacation, it's a long way off, and you should try to have fun and enjoy the time you have with loved ones. Those relationships and memories are what will remain when your body eventually starts to change as you age, and you don't want to look back and realize you were too focused on your tummy to enjoy this time in your life. Just focus on your day-to-day plan, and the body you are working for will eventually take shape. Whether that happens in time for the vacation or not.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    Sounds like two different issues.

    6 weeks might not be enough time to meet your final goal, but 6 weeks of healthy food and regular exercise is better than none, right? And you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried hard, instead of thinking 'why bother' and regretting it when you get to the beach.

    The other issue is harder. I know how hard it is to have low self-esteem and it's tough. The important thing is all the people who matter - the people you are going with - all like you how you are and want you to have fun. There won't be anyone judging you. As for the rest of the world - we forget when we are at home that at the beach, just like in the supermarket, there are people of all shapes and sizes. I've got fifty pounds on you (granted I might go for a one-piece) but I'm guessing if you saw me swimming you wouldn't think 'omg look at that whale'. You probably wouldn't give me a moment's thought. People care about us much less than we think. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care about strangers and what they look like. More often than not, people don't remember you once you are out of sight. Quick! Picture five people you saw walking down the street yesterday! Hard to do, right?

    Just do the best you can with your weight loss. Do something else that makes you feel good too - haircut, manicure, whatever. And take your boyfriend bikini shopping. He thinks you look great and he will make you feel better about it. Try on some tankinis - better to wear a style you don't prefer than miss out on all the fun.
    Strong post.

    And nothing is sexier than confidence, no matter WHAT you look like. Beating yourself up and putting to high of expectations on yourself, ESPECIALLY with a deadline, can cause you to sabotage yourself in the long run. Slow and steady wins the race, just remember that. Do your best and be proud.
  • johnelwell
    johnelwell Posts: 38 Member
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    Whatever you do it will not help by beating yourself up !
    Your boyfriend loves you so thats great, if you try to do something too quick it just will not work, you could run the risk of bad health etc etc. As others have said slow and steady is the way. Check your BMR and activity levels then come up with your own calorie goal ( if you get stuck - friend me and I will help)
    Set a SMART target one that you can achieve
    Listen to the other Ladies for clothing advice ( never wore a bikini myself so cannot advise here )
    Remember the tale of how do you eat an elephant .................................... one fork full at a time and use this analogy to guide you
    Good luck
    x
  • haehaebri
    haehaebri Posts: 7
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    Sounds like two different issues.

    6 weeks might not be enough time to meet your final goal, but 6 weeks of healthy food and regular exercise is better than none, right? And you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried hard, instead of thinking 'why bother' and regretting it when you get to the beach.

    The other issue is harder. I know how hard it is to have low self-esteem and it's tough. The important thing is all the people who matter - the people you are going with - all like you how you are and want you to have fun. There won't be anyone judging you. As for the rest of the world - we forget when we are at home that at the beach, just like in the supermarket, there are people of all shapes and sizes. I've got fifty pounds on you (granted I might go for a one-piece) but I'm guessing if you saw me swimming you wouldn't think 'omg look at that whale'. You probably wouldn't give me a moment's thought. People care about us much less than we think. Most of us are too wrapped up in our own lives to care about strangers and what they look like. More often than not, people don't remember you once you are out of sight. Quick! Picture five people you saw walking down the street yesterday! Hard to do, right?

    Just do the best you can with your weight loss. Do something else that makes you feel good too - haircut, manicure, whatever. And take your boyfriend bikini shopping. He thinks you look great and he will make you feel better about it. Try on some tankinis - better to wear a style you don't prefer than miss out on all the fun.

    Thank you so much for this. I've really been feeling like giving up but now I feel like pushing forward. I'm gonna go ahead and go shopping for a bikini by the end of this month. This is a big step for me because I haven't wore a swimsuit since I was little. It's better to be happy and comfortable than anything else :)
  • haehaebri
    haehaebri Posts: 7
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    Thank you all for your wonderful replies. All of you are being so helpful! :D
  • mdivamuffin
    mdivamuffin Posts: 164 Member
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    Why don't you try one of Jillian Michael's videos? Ripped in 30 or 30 day shred. If you have a search on the forum for results you'll be amazed :-)