Have you ever felt left out because of your healthy lifestyle?

HWIN_16
HWIN_16 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Have you turned down invites because you want to get your sleep?
Turned down drinking with friends because that's extra calories & slows down your metabolism?
Said "No" to going out to eat because you wouldn't be able to stay within your calorie &/or macro range?
Stayed in because you have a 5k in the morning instead of going out clubbing?
I just want to know so that I don't feel so alone, because I've turned down people, & each time I do I feel like a loser. Especially because I'm 21 & not like most girls my age. But my body, my health, & the way I look is more important to me, so I shouldn't feel sorry for that.
Right?

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    HWIN_16 wrote: »
    Turned down drinking with friends because that's extra calories & slows down your metabolism?

    The what now??
  • Ant488
    Ant488 Posts: 372 Member
    I'm trying to change my eating habits. So , I'm on my way.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    Yes, but not because I lived a "healthy lifestyle". It was because I wasn't into what my then-friends were into.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    HWIN_16 wrote: »
    Have you turned down invites because you want to get your sleep?
    Depends. If it's on a weekend, then I just sleep in longer.
    Turned down drinking with friends because that's extra calories & slows down your metabolism?
    I don't drink but will hang out with friends and be the DD. And alcohol doesn't slow down your metabolism. It just diverts energy until it's metabolized out of your system.
    Said "No" to going out to eat because you wouldn't be able to stay within your calorie &/or macro range?
    Who says you HAVE to eat though? And if it came down to it, you can eat a salad (watch the dressing) without really overstepping your calorie count.
    Stayed in because you have a 5k in the morning instead of going out clubbing?
    That would be smart.
    I just want to know so that I don't feel so alone, because I've turned down people, & each time I do I feel like a loser. Especially because I'm 21 & not like most girls my age. But my body, my health, & the way I look is more important to me, so I shouldn't feel sorry for that.
    Right?
    You just have to find friends that have the same interest you do in fitness and health then. Unfortunately, some of your childhood friends may not have the same aspirations you do and could hold you back rather than help you step forward.
    But IMO, don't be over obsessive about it if you want to still hang out with your friends. Part of being healthy is also being HAPPY. You can be the physically healthiest person in the world, but if your sad and alone, that lowers that "healthy" lifestyle.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    chunky_pinup wrote: »
    HWIN_16 wrote: »
    Have you turned down invites because you want to get your sleep?
    Turned down drinking with friends because that's extra calories & slows down your metabolism?
    Said "No" to going out to eat because you wouldn't be able to stay within your calorie &/or macro range?
    Stayed in because you have a 5k in the morning instead of going out clubbing?
    I just want to know so that I don't feel so alone, because I've turned down people, & each time I do I feel like a loser. Especially because I'm 21 & not like most girls my age. But my body, my health, & the way I look is more important to me, so I shouldn't feel sorry for that.
    Right?

    No way. You need to learn balance or you'll burn out.


    FYI...drinking doesn't slow down your metabolism.

    I agree.

    I don't turn down life because of my health and fitness.

    I allow for indulgences when they are presented most of the time. I don't say yes all the time...I say yes when I want to do it.

    If you don't want to then there is nothing wrong with it...but if you feel like a loser I suspect you want to go out...

    mind you I do have more friends that aren't into fitness than friends who are...they ask me how I do it tho...I tell them...as they eat their chips and dip, cheese and wine.
  • NaturalNancy
    NaturalNancy Posts: 1,093 Member
    Yes.
    Do what makes you happy.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
    I have turned down invites to happy hours and gone to workout, but generally that is because I don't want to go to the happy hour. Or I have gone to happy, drank water and then gone to workout.

    I have turned down going out when I have a race of some sort to go to in the morning...mostly only the one triathlon I do every year. The other 5Ks I do are things like the Wicked Wine Run and the Hot Chocolate Run or a Color Run and I am not much of a runner and not trying to PR anything.
  • joycemathison1975
    joycemathison1975 Posts: 20 Member
    HWIN_16 wrote: »
    Have you turned down invites because you want to get your sleep?
    Turned down drinking with friends because that's extra calories & slows down your metabolism?
    Said "No" to going out to eat because you wouldn't be able to stay within your calorie &/or macro range?
    Stayed in because you have a 5k in the morning instead of going out clubbing?
    I just want to know so that I don't feel so alone, because I've turned down people, & each time I do I feel like a loser. Especially because I'm 21 & not like most girls my age. But my body, my health, & the way I look is more important to me, so I shouldn't feel sorry for that.
    Right?

    What you are doing is the opposite of being a loser. It's just another instance of taking care of yourself and making sure you're healthy in the long run.
    Perhaps suggest something that doesn't involve clubs or partying until the wee hours of the morning, such as meet up for lunch at a place that has healthy options or ask if they would like take a gym class with you.
    It's basically a part of growing up. You're on the right track. :)
  • ckwilson254
    ckwilson254 Posts: 40 Member
    I wish I would have got it through my head like that at your age. Keep pushing you are on the right track.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    I would encourage you to try to make friends who will share your healthy lifestyle and support you.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    HWIN_16 wrote: »
    Stayed in because you have a 5k in the morning instead of going out clubbing?
    Really just this one, because a 5k is fun and I'd rather be well-rested and enjoy it instead of trying to run when I'm already tired, which sucks.

  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    Find a balance.

    I have fitness friends, and crazy friends, some are both.

    For my first year I had a class on MWF from 6-7 pm and everyone knew I would not go out until 8 on those nights. They also knew I was serious about my goal so we worked around it.

    Once I had been at it a bit longer and was comfortable with my goals I learnt how to balance the fun nights out with my preferred way of eating and exercise, and when to prioritize one over the other.

    It takes time- eventually you will find your own rhythm.

    Cheers, h.
  • KiyaK
    KiyaK Posts: 519 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    You just have to find friends that have the same interest you do in fitness and health then. Unfortunately, some of your childhood friends may not have the same aspirations you do and could hold you back rather than help you step forward.
    But IMO, don't be over obsessive about it if you want to still hang out with your friends. Part of being healthy is also being HAPPY. You can be the physically healthiest person in the world, but if your sad and alone, that lowers that "healthy" lifestyle.


    Boomsauce. Can always count on Ninerbuff to drop the knowledge. Balance. Go out, have a little & have some FUN. And if you find that what your friends are doing isn't fun anymore, find some new friends. I certainly had to so that at one point. "Clubbing" had stopped being fun, so I had to go out and make an effort to hang out with different people who liked doing the new/other things I liked doing.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,611 Member
    Have you ever felt left out because of your healthy lifestyle?

    No ... my husband and most of the people I associate with are into cycling like me.

  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
    I love to game but it's something I've had to give up doing as much in order to get 8 hours of sleep and it really sucks. But that's life, no one said it wouldn't suck. Better to be healthy than indulge every whim like so many people do nowadays.
  • mariameats
    mariameats Posts: 16 Member
    HWIN_16 wrote: »
    Have you turned down invites because you want to get your sleep?
    Turned down drinking with friends because that's extra calories & slows down your metabolism?
    Said "No" to going out to eat because you wouldn't be able to stay within your calorie &/or macro range?
    Stayed in because you have a 5k in the morning instead of going out clubbing?
    I just want to know so that I don't feel so alone, because I've turned down people, & each time I do I feel like a loser. Especially because I'm 21 & not like most girls my age. But my body, my health, & the way I look is more important to me, so I shouldn't feel sorry for that.
    Right?

    Yes, yes and yes! You are not alone because lately I have been doing the same. Although it's mainly saying no to coworkers for happy hour and seeing friends less often because all they want to do is drink booze and then eat. I also have signed up for a 5K that's in 2 weeks and I just can't run the risk of drinking too much on the weekend because then I feel like crap the whole next day. I find the less I drink, the less I really feel like I want to.

    I do try to invite my friends to something active instead- hike, gym class, yoga etc and if we go to a spot after to eat, I just look over the menu and pick something I know won't be calorie overload. If there is nothing healthy, I will just have half the portion. Also my friends like to shop so I suggest going shopping bc I really do add up the steps like crazy on my pedometer!
  • Alienique
    Alienique Posts: 122 Member
    I can relate to the sleep > friends one and turning down drinking (not because of caloric/metabolic concerns, but simply because I don't drink), but if anything, getting healthy has made me more friends. You just have to find people who share your interests.
    As someone who is also 21, I know there are a lot of people our age that make a point of living unhealthy lifestyles, and depending on what your life circumstances are, it can be easy to fall in with them; but, I assure you, there are plenty of people who share your healthy ways, too. :smile:
  • stillnot2late
    stillnot2late Posts: 385 Member
    I can relate to going out to eat and not fitting in. Only because I dont eat anything prepared with milk. Restaurants use milk and butter, and its already cooked so I cant say hold it. and so many items have cheese. I get teased because I'm like that, and they will say "oh it wont kill you". So I go to dinner alone cause I just dont fit in fiddling over menu items and asking questions of how something was prepared!
  • stillnot2late
    stillnot2late Posts: 385 Member
    Great Scott I thought alcohol slowed your metabolism - Hot dog!!
  • healthy491
    healthy491 Posts: 384 Member
    I was like that a while ago , but honestly it drove me nuts. Life is too short to miss out on all those things in my opinion.
    Just find a balance. I go out to eat and drink and have fun ,every weekend . I just make up for it during the week.
  • girlinahat
    girlinahat Posts: 2,956 Member
    When I was younger I used to say ‘yes’ to everything, for fear of missing out. The paranoia of not being part of something, or other people having fun without me was crushing. As I got older, I realised that constantly wanting to be part of something was a drain on me, and ultimately my health, with heavy drinking and late nights taking their toll.

    Learning how and when to say ‘no’ is liberating. It means you are making a choice, and valuing yourself. No one respects you the less for it, as long as you strike a balance. But it’s also about priorities and time management. I run before work, which leaves my evenings free, but then have dance classes twice a week on those evenings, and occasional social dances at weekends.

    I used to go diving most weekends, but now I have swapped diving for dancing, and have a different group of friends, meaning I have even MORE opportunities to socialise with both dancing friends and NDF’s (Non-Dancing Friends). This means I now have to say ‘no’ more often, to different groups of people, but at the same time it is forcing me to say ‘yes’ to social environments I might not previously have considered. I also know from experience that I have to retain one weekend a month where I DON’T commit to loads of stuff, and can use this to regroup.

    I drink less now, because drinking and dancing is messy, and I can have fun with those people on a night until the small hours with nothing stronger than water. I still go out drinking, and enjoying good food, when it suits me.

    I do more active stuff now, I run the occasional race, but I make sure in my schedule I find time for friends, because they are important to me. That’s not about saying ‘yes’ because I’m paranoid about missing out, that’s about saying ‘yes’ when there are things I genuinely want to do. Friends change, your friendship groups change and your priorities change. Health is important, but nothing should come at the exclusivity of friendships (I have the same feeling about relationships).

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