Anyone have any good jokes? I'd like a good laugh right about now. T

Erika2011MaBelleFille

I was just reading one of those popsicle stick jokes. Here is what it said: why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy. Lol

finny11122

The patato died . There was a huge turnip for the funeral .

RainaProske

erika60007 wrote: »

I was just reading one of those popsicle stick jokes. Here is what it said: why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy. Lol

When my son was about 7, he came to me after church and told me that when he was praying, he decided to tell G-D a joke, then he realized that G-D already knew the punch line.

Erika2011MaBelleFille

Raina, kids are full with such joy it's almost impossible not to catch some of that from time to time. Love your story.

RainaProske

Nothing's quite as smelly as broccoli in the morning
When through a sleepy haze, I smell it lyin' there
Under the other trash that I had used to cover it
Because the night was cold, and I really didn't care -- yet

Mmm-hmmm

Then I awake, and smell the waves of odor coming
Out of my kitchen
And strongly over pow'ring the coffee
Oh, how disgusting...

Nothing's quite as smelly as broccoli in the morning
When through a sleepy haze, I smell it lyin' there
Under the other trash that I had used to cover it
Because last night was cold, and I thought I didn't care . . . .

Sing to the tune of "Nothing's Quite As Pretty AS Mary In the Morning"
https://us.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=arh&hsimp=yhs-001&type=xy_bde3b59d&param1=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&param2=NapbMGp7NWB5&p="Nothing's+Quite+As+Pretty+AS+Mary+In+the+Morning"

finny11122

A panda walks into a bar , orders a plate of ham sandwiches , eats them , gets up and takes out a gun and starts shooting all round the bar and leaves . The next day the panda comes in and does the same thing .
On the third day the panda comes in eats his sandwiches and shoots up the bar .
The barman ran to the door and stopped the panda , and said this cant go on . you have my bar wrecked !!
The panda looked at him and said , this is what i do buddy . Look up the dictionary - Panda - Eats , shoots and leaves .

RainaProske

Hefty. Whales.

Obese. "We can't say 'obese' anymore," my daughter, who works for a hospital told me. "The politically correct word is now 'person of size.'" Maybe someone was offended.

Intrinsicat

A duck walks into a bar and someone yells "Hey! Your pants are down!"

It's a horrible joke but I love it.

lenoresdream

What did one snowman say to the other? I smell carrots.

*badum -tss*

JessicaJS23

My life

jhmomofmany

How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? It's easy; one will see you later and one sees you after a while.

finny11122

You hear about the lobster that went to a nightclub . ........He pulled a muscle .

pudgy1977

finny11122 wrote: »

A panda walks into a bar , orders a plate of ham sandwiches , eats them , gets up and takes out a gun and starts shooting all round the bar and leaves . The next day the panda comes in and does the same thing .
On the third day the panda comes in eats his sandwiches and shoots up the bar .
The barman ran to the door and stopped the panda , and said this cant go on . you have my bar wrecked !!
The panda looked at him and said , this is what i do buddy . Look up the dictionary - Panda - Eats , shoots and leaves .

FYI...I am stealing this joke!!

finny11122

pudgy1977 wrote: »

finny11122 wrote: »

A panda walks into a bar , orders a plate of ham sandwiches , eats them , gets up and takes out a gun and starts shooting all round the bar and leaves . The next day the panda comes in and does the same thing .
On the third day the panda comes in eats his sandwiches and shoots up the bar .
The barman ran to the door and stopped the panda , and said this cant go on . you have my bar wrecked !!
The panda looked at him and said , this is what i do buddy . Look up the dictionary - Panda - Eats , shoots and leaves .

FYI...I am stealing this joke!!

Haha . You should . I got some good laughs out of people with that one .

Latucker21

With the flagging of posts, I'd say I don't have any appropriate for on here.

pudgy1977

@finny11122 - you clearly have my sense of humor....lol with the lobster

Thisnameischosen_

This is my favourite joke. Some people have probably heard it (i put it on every joke post/status. Everyone should hear it)

Why are pirates called pirates???

Because they arrrrr!!

Lolol it kills me

LiftingLisa

Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »

This is my favourite joke. Some people have probably heard it (i put it on every joke post/status. Everyone should hear it)

Why are pirates called pirates???

Because they arrrrr!!

Lolol it kills me

I am laughing way too hard at this.

Thisnameischosen_

FLgirl40 wrote: »

Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »

This is my favourite joke. Some people have probably heard it (i put it on every joke post/status. Everyone should hear it)

Why are pirates called pirates???

Because they arrrrr!!

Lolol it kills me

I am laughing way too hard at this.

Good isn't it??.. and then there's...

What kind of instrument does a pirate play??

A harrrrrmonica!

finny11122

What did the horse say to the jockey with one leg . ......................How ya getting on .

denversillygoose

What did the ghost say to the bee?



BOO BEE!


Sorry. It's all I have.