Anyone have any good jokes? I'd like a good laugh right about now. T
Erika2011MaBelleFille
Posts: 75 Member
in Chit-Chat
I was just reading one of those popsicle stick jokes. Here is what it said: why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy. Lol
Because it was feeling crummy. Lol
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Replies
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The patato died . There was a huge turnip for the funeral .7
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erika60007 wrote: »I was just reading one of those popsicle stick jokes. Here is what it said: why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy. Lol
When my son was about 7, he came to me after church and told me that when he was praying, he decided to tell G-D a joke, then he realized that G-D already knew the punch line.3 -
Raina, kids are full with such joy it's almost impossible not to catch some of that from time to time. Love your story.1
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Nothing's quite as smelly as broccoli in the morning
When through a sleepy haze, I smell it lyin' there
Under the other trash that I had used to cover it
Because the night was cold, and I really didn't care -- yet
Mmm-hmmm
Then I awake, and smell the waves of odor coming
Out of my kitchen
And strongly over pow'ring the coffee
Oh, how disgusting...
Nothing's quite as smelly as broccoli in the morning
When through a sleepy haze, I smell it lyin' there
Under the other trash that I had used to cover it
Because last night was cold, and I thought I didn't care . . . .
Sing to the tune of "Nothing's Quite As Pretty AS Mary In the Morning"
https://us.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=arh&hsimp=yhs-001&type=xy_bde3b59d&param1=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&param2=NapbMGp7NWB5&p="Nothing's+Quite+As+Pretty+AS+Mary+In+the+Morning"0 -
A panda walks into a bar , orders a plate of ham sandwiches , eats them , gets up and takes out a gun and starts shooting all round the bar and leaves . The next day the panda comes in and does the same thing .
On the third day the panda comes in eats his sandwiches and shoots up the bar .
The barman ran to the door and stopped the panda , and said this cant go on . you have my bar wrecked !!
The panda looked at him and said , this is what i do buddy . Look up the dictionary - Panda - Eats , shoots and leaves .4 -
Hefty. Whales.
Obese. "We can't say 'obese' anymore," my daughter, who works for a hospital told me. "The politically correct word is now 'person of size.'" Maybe someone was offended.0 -
A duck walks into a bar and someone yells "Hey! Your pants are down!"
It's a horrible joke but I love it.3 -
What did one snowman say to the other? I smell carrots.
*badum -tss*
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My life
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How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? It's easy; one will see you later and one sees you after a while.8
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You hear about the lobster that went to a nightclub . ........He pulled a muscle .0
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finny11122 wrote: »A panda walks into a bar , orders a plate of ham sandwiches , eats them , gets up and takes out a gun and starts shooting all round the bar and leaves . The next day the panda comes in and does the same thing .
On the third day the panda comes in eats his sandwiches and shoots up the bar .
The barman ran to the door and stopped the panda , and said this cant go on . you have my bar wrecked !!
The panda looked at him and said , this is what i do buddy . Look up the dictionary - Panda - Eats , shoots and leaves .
FYI...I am stealing this joke!!1 -
finny11122 wrote: »A panda walks into a bar , orders a plate of ham sandwiches , eats them , gets up and takes out a gun and starts shooting all round the bar and leaves . The next day the panda comes in and does the same thing .
On the third day the panda comes in eats his sandwiches and shoots up the bar .
The barman ran to the door and stopped the panda , and said this cant go on . you have my bar wrecked !!
The panda looked at him and said , this is what i do buddy . Look up the dictionary - Panda - Eats , shoots and leaves .
FYI...I am stealing this joke!!
Haha . You should . I got some good laughs out of people with that one .0 -
With the flagging of posts, I'd say I don't have any appropriate for on here.
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@finny11122 - you clearly have my sense of humor....lol with the lobster1
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This is my favourite joke. Some people have probably heard it (i put it on every joke post/status. Everyone should hear it)
Why are pirates called pirates???
Because they arrrrr!!
Lolol it kills me 2 -
Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »This is my favourite joke. Some people have probably heard it (i put it on every joke post/status. Everyone should hear it)
Why are pirates called pirates???
Because they arrrrr!!
Lolol it kills me
I am laughing way too hard at this. 1 -
Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »This is my favourite joke. Some people have probably heard it (i put it on every joke post/status. Everyone should hear it)
Why are pirates called pirates???
Because they arrrrr!!
Lolol it kills me
I am laughing way too hard at this.
Good isn't it??.. and then there's...
What kind of instrument does a pirate play??
A harrrrrmonica!0 -
What did the horse say to the jockey with one leg . ......................How ya getting on .2
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What did the ghost say to the bee?
BOO BEE!
Sorry. It's all I have.3 -
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.2 -
Sorry, I'm kind of new to this community thing on FP. What does the whole "flagging" mean. How does it happen?0
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P.s. There are some pretty good jokes on here though.0
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Flagged Content, Reported Posts, & Warning Points This will explain flags and how to use them.1
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How do you blindfold an Oriental person?
With dental floss1 -
Pat and Mick sitting on the stairs of their local church
Pat says "I did"
Mick says " you didn't"
Pat - "I'm tellin ya, I did"
Mick - "And I'm tellin ya, ye didn't"
Pat - "I fookin did!"
Mick - "Ya fookin didn't!"
Suddenly the priest comes running out the church and shouts "what's all this swearing about, and on the church steps??"
"Father" says Mick "will you tell Pat that there is no such thing as a 2 foot tall nun!"
"What??" Says the priest "of course not! I have never heard the like!"
"Ha" shouts Mick, turning to Pat, "I told ya, you were shagging a penguin!"3 -
If an athlete gets athletes foot what does an astronaut get?
Missile Toe!
What shakes and lies at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck.4 -
Hahaha! another flag the butthurt is strong on this flagger. Flag this one too lolCutaway_Collar wrote: »Dude, that picture is offensive. They look like random women or friends in a bar and some obnoxious weed made a joke out of that.
There are people here who may look like that. They already feel like *kitten* and they don't need to see fat jokes over and over.
I think you are a funny guy but this one time, it's poor judgement.
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Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...7 -
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