Not single, but wanna be

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Muppyooh
Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
in Chit-Chat
I think I'm over my relationship. It's been a little over 3 years. We've broken up a few times for a week but gotten back together. I think I'm scared to be alone. I'm scared I won't meet anyone else and I'm not getting any younger. But I'm not happy. Then again, when we broke up I wasn't happy either. I don't know what to do.

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  • BananaBite
    BananaBite Posts: 135 Member
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    If you're that unhappy being in relationship then end it. Maybe you both were only meant to be best friends, not lovers.
  • Zealand4530
    Zealand4530 Posts: 180 Member
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    You should end your relationship. Not fair to other person to not be 100% invested. Maybe they feel same way
  • Muppyooh
    Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
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    BauerNXG wrote: »
    You should end your relationship. Not fair to other person to not be 100% invested. Maybe they feel same way

    This is very true. I feel horrible about it. I don't want to hurt him. He's a good guy. But he also can tell I'm not in 100% anymore. Thanks.
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    There's nothing wrong with knowing you are the kind of person who wants to be in a relationship and doesn't like being alone... I think the only thing that you have done wrong is keep on getting back with a person that you know is not right for you. You have to remember that as long as you stay in a relationship with that person it closes the door for the right person to come into your life!

    Change can be tough but the rewarding in the long run ☺

    Good luck!
  • Zealand4530
    Zealand4530 Posts: 180 Member
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    MegsieFighter wrote: »
    If you think he is a good guy, why not have this conversation with him alone?



  • Angela937
    Angela937 Posts: 514 Member
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    Its important to learn to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with someone else.
  • WSOX37
    WSOX37 Posts: 1,611 Member
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    Agreed
  • Muppyooh
    Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    What are these fears about being alone? Emotional or financial??

    Emotional. Financially, I'm fine on my own.
  • cassandrag93
    cassandrag93 Posts: 825 Member
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    "Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you, it can only come from you."

    If you want to be single, be single. Don't stay with someone out of fear of not finding anyone. That's just not fair to you, and more importantly your significant other. If you decide to break things off, you and your significant other may have a hard time moving on, especially if you guys pictured your future together. So get the closure you need and move on the right way. Keep in mind that it's okay to be single and be independent for awhile. I am a firm believer that if you work on your own happiness, then true happiness will follow. I don't know your whole relationship story so it's hard to give much advice. What I do know is staying in a relationship because it seems "easier" compared to starting over is the worst thing you could do. However, leaving a relationship for lust of someone else may only result in you missing what you once had. Again, I don't know your guys story, all I can do is wish you the best and tell you whatever road you choose, you will be fine.

    Message me if you need to talk! :)
  • TestNamePleaseIgnore
    TestNamePleaseIgnore Posts: 295 Member
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    Is there anything that can be done to spice the relationship up, or is it something that can be fixed with mutual understanding and conversation?

    If not, then this is something to look deeply into. You've mentioned you have broken up a few times in a week. That's never a good sign.

    Have a talk with him, let it all out. Then go from there. Honestly, only you will know what is right for you in the end.

    Best of luck to you.

    Ps: Don't be afraid to be alone. It's not as bad as it seems and it's not permanent.. You know.. Unless you're an insane cat lady.

    Cheers!
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    And maybe seek advice from trusted friends and family? :)
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    I can understand your fear. We're pretty close in age and it really is hard to meet people when you're edging 40 :(

    However, you deserve to be happy! And so does your partner. Being single isn't as awful as people make it out to be.
  • nukephysics
    nukephysics Posts: 406 Member
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    cassandrag93 wrote: »
    "Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you, it can only come from you."

    If you want to be single, be single. Don't stay with someone out of fear of not finding anyone. That's just not fair to you, and more importantly your significant other. If you decide to break things off, you and your significant other may have a hard time moving on, especially if you guys pictured your future together. So get the closure you need and move on the right way. Keep in mind that it's okay to be single and be independent for awhile. I am a firm believer that if you work on your own happiness, then true happiness will follow. I don't know your whole relationship story so it's hard to give much advice. What I do know is staying in a relationship because it seems "easier" compared to starting over is the worst thing you could do. However, leaving a relationship for lust of someone else may only result in you missing what you once had. Again, I don't know your guys story, all I can do is wish you the best and tell you whatever road you choose, you will be fine.

    Message me if you need to talk! :)

    What Cassandra said... Happiness is a choice you make. No one will ever make you happy and you will always be disappointed if you think otherwise. This is a hard lessen to learn, and seeking that "happiness" in another person for lust will only bring you heartache and sadness. When you learn to choose happiness and build confidence the guys will follow. Guys like a lady who is happy in any situation and who has the confidence to not be dependent. Keep it up and make your choice...
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    Think of yourself when you're 60. Do you see yourself as one of those old couples who still clearly love each other? If not, well, you're better off alone than with someone you can't imagine growing old with.

    I don't agree with the 'happiness is a choice' BS though, but I have a history of depression, so there's that...
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    leave leave leave leave leave

    i also was afraid to be alone but here i am and yea it sucks sometimes

    It is hard but its better than closing yourself off to finding someone who you would truly be happy with
  • koujo21
    koujo21 Posts: 26 Member
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    Cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, you need to cut that relationship. If work on your happiness and the right person will come along.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    Eh. You're not too old. I'm 30 and starting over. I might have to do it again at 40 or 60. Hopefully not but hey...at least I won't be miserable for the rest of my life.

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