Fitness to help take control of my life during a Divorce

Verchild

So the Title is pretty much lays out whats going on with me.
My wife informed me that she hasn't loved me the same way for the last 5 years and is leaving me so she can find out who she is. We are working very well together, and the process is moving forward as she deserves to be happy as well.

That all said, I'm harboring a massive amount of stress and anxiety over all this. I thought my family was fine, and find out that a major life change is happening to me and i have no option in it.

So I joined a Gym, have been working with a trainer ( he has been awesome and given me a few free sessions to help me get on the right foot), and I'm trying to find people who both are interested in finding friends, and want to encourage me and have me encourage them to keep up their fitness goals.

Hence this post to find some like minded people. I don't post on forums often so if I did this wrong let me know.
I'm also trying to find some kind of work out "plan". I work better if I have a schedule, or a game plan in place, and this trainer is doing the 1 week of planning at a time. I get it, he wants me to pay for more sessions but that financial burden is not an option right now.

Dangit, I'm rambling again... Anyways, say hi, offer advice, or whatever. Thanks for letting me vent I guess.

crazydogladyjess

Exercise and fitness are a great way to work through stress & to help better yourself. I've worked with a personal trainer previously, but I found the most success working solo...when it was me searching out new info, pushing myself, learning new things & just giving it a good try and hard work. Personal training can also be expensive, which probably isn't something you want to be taking on at this point with that else you have going on.

Are there any particular goals you have related to fitness? If not, it may help to discover some for yourself and set them... to help keep you motivated, on track, and so you can accomplish them & feel awesome.

All the best!

Verchild

Thanks CrazyDogLadyJess,
What you can't see from my picture is that I have a little spare tire. My main goal is to lose weigh and better my overall health. Since the start of the year I started at 255, and have just on my own gotten down to 230. Now I'm trying to keep that ball rolling. My target goal is to be around 190/200 but healthy and fit. This sudden change to my life has only increased this drive.

Right now I'm have been doing exercises to help build my basic core, and alternating the days with cardio.
My problem is that once I'm done with the session with my trainer tonight, I want to have a general plan for the next month or two with target exercises to help this process going forward with out having to pay $55 for an hour every week.

lisahebert186

Welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about the life change but it sounds like you're in the right track. This app will definitely help and I've found a lot of supportive and encouraging friends along the way. I've sent you a friend Request.

KevinPsalm23v4

I TOO am going through a divorce (it started in November 2015). I understand WHAT you are going through!

My name is Kevin and I wanted to take a moment and share - I live in the Saint Louis Metro (O'Fallon Illinois) but I work in Earth City, MO.

Personally; I've been going through a divorce since Nov 2015 and spent the better part of that time self-loathing, stressing, NEVER focusing on me, living in hate and anger, putting on way too much weight and adopting too many unhealthy habits.

I want to loose 100+ pounds!

I'm ready to change and today I start.

Care to add me as a friend?

Verchild

Thanks Lisa, I have been using the app to help me get my eating figure out a little more. This is the first time I'm reaching out to the community though. Glad to see you guys are so positive.

Red5092

Been there done that. I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time, but you are approaching it with the right attitude. Exercise was very therapeutic when I was going through my divorce as well. I remember taking long walks with tears running down my face and running on the treadmill until I felt better. It will get better, and you'll be stronger both physically and mentally.

lalee115

Hi there! I, myself, am divorced (3 years this December). We separated suddenly, as well, when I found out he had been cheating on me. I lost a good amount of weight the few months after that, but it was in an unhealthy way. And I ended up gaining most of it back. Now, though, I am engaged to an amazing guy who is taking the journey the right way with me. You are already light years ahead of where I was with your attitude and focus on doing things the right way. Some days will feel worse than others, but you WILL come out the other side a better man for it. Good luck!

Verchild

Thanks Red, and Lalee. Right now cuz I'm not as used to it the best part of working out is the being so tired I simply don't care. But I do feel so much better.. That "runners" high if you will sticks with me after my cardio days.

Feistychick68

Same situation trying to start over and begin again

sbubenchik

Been there brother, happy to help and support. Feel free to add me

Steff46

Hello! When I started my life over (after my divorce) I suddenly had free time. I lost weight in the beginning and decided that I wanted to keep it off. I didn't have the funds for a gym or trainer so I would go to the local college track and walk/run for hours on end. Then got my bike out of storage and started to ride through my new neighborhood. Then it turned into new friends, then a gym, then mountain biking, road biking, and now I'm into triathlons. I guess I'm saying there will be plenty of activities for you to get into. Plus if you need structure check out the website for Training Peaks (trainingpeaks.com). They have some free workout plans and also some you can purchase. Take care

Verchild

Thanks Steff

Steff46 wrote: »

Hello! When I started my life over (after my divorce) I suddenly had free time. I lost weight in the beginning and decided that I wanted to keep it off. I didn't have the funds for a gym or trainer so I would go to the local college track and walk/run for hours on end. Then got my bike out of storage and started to ride through my new neighborhood. Then it turned into new friends, then a gym, then mountain biking, road biking, and now I'm into triathlons. I guess I'm saying there will be plenty of activities for you to get into. Plus if you need structure check out the website for Training Peaks (trainingpeaks.com). They have some free workout plans and also some you can purchase. Take care

Lol, well I dont expect to be in triathlons any time soon the goal is to keep growing as a person. Thanks for the site too!

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cee134

I pay for coffee. I'm not saying anything, other then there are guys that pay for coffee.

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Verchild

IAmSimplyKriss wrote: »

Lol.. all these guys with cute faces going through a divorce and i can't even meet a guy who will pay $2 for a coffee on a date... the dating world is stinky lol and im sure those ladies will appreciate what they had good luck!

Cee and I will both buy you coffee. Hell, I would even throw in a healthy breakfast option if you wanted.

It is something I find amusing, that now that this whole situation has reached the "No Matt, she really isn't coming back and you just need to start thinking about your future", Its a little fun to actually pay attention to the ladies.

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KevinPsalm23v4

Not paying for coffee...... dang, I'll pay for the first few dates.......

jgnatca

I am not in the same boat but you brought back fond memories. Hubby joined the gym to recover from his divorce. It was a smart move.

When we started dating a few years afterwards, he introduced me to the gym. I quickly realized this man took his time cleaning up afterwards. I decided in the future I'd bring a book. He confessed later that the gym was a handy filter for first dates. If the lady couldn't handle the wait, she was not the gal for him.

Return2Fit

You're on the right road whatever your motivation. Getting back in the game has a way of waking us up, so happy hunting...lol

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Verchild

IAmSimplyKriss wrote: »

... well i believe im worth a $2 coffee at least lol

Kris, you are worth a Starbucks coffee. All $4 of it. :P You will find a guy who will treat you right, it just takes time. And if I have learned from my past ( thinking 8+ years back ) you will find that person right when you aren't paying attention for him.

Verchild

Return2Fit wrote: »

You're on the right road whatever your motivation. Getting back in the game has a way of waking us up, so happy hunting...lol

Tell me about it. My friend asked me if I knew this was going to happen, and I didn't. But he pointed out that I had gotten into the mindset to better myself in January. I was telling myself that I was doing it to help my relationship with my wife... maybe subconsciously I was prepping myself to get on the field? Who knows? lol