I will always look awful in my wedding photos

Eadne
Eadne Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
I got married a few weeks ago. I was unsuccessful in losing weight and the photos are hideous.

I cried before the wedding because I knew I was huge and the photos were going to look awful. I didn't even sort out a dress until the last minute because I was in denial about needing a huge white tent. The dress was a disaster because I left it until the last minute and ended up with something awful. I cried after the wedding because the photos were even worse than I thought they were going to be.

I would like to be slim and I am trying to lose weight again, but it breaks my heart that I will always look ugly in photos of my special day.

Replies

  • Madwife2009
    Madwife2009 Posts: 1,369 Member
    I'm sorry that you're upset about your wedding photos.

    My first thought was that there WILL be other moments that are MORE special than your wedding photos. I was big in my wedding photos, but that's who I was at the time. Nothing can change that. And I hardly ever look at my wedding photos now - they were just a moment in my life. I've had other, equally or maybe more - important moments since then; for example the births of my children and finally hitting "healthy weight". And there will be more to come, I know that there will.

    As an aside, some of my wedding photos were ruined by the presence of my Mother-in-Law. She's a really horrible person, who, thankfully I don't have to even think about anymore, let alone see but she's in most of my wedding photos. Makes me shudder.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    So lose the weight and renew your vows. Therefore will have new pictures
    Stop torturing yourself
  • ambalam
    ambalam Posts: 35 Member
    I'm in a committed relationship and we talk about marriage n what not. But I don't want to Bc I don't wanna remember being like 100+ lbs overweight on my wedding and seeing it every day. I get it. Use those bad feelings to your advantage. Lose the weight. Feel good about yourself. Promise yourself new pictures w your husband.

    Idk what being married feels like, well, weddings anyway, but when I saw my bf hold our daughter for the first time I fell in love twice that day. Once w her and all over again w him. As cheesy as that sounds it's true. Idk if kids are in your plans, but pictures w a baby would be pretty amazing. Best of luck.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    They're just photos.

    To be honest... I have no idea where my wedding pictures are. And I don't really care.
  • jmacaroni
    jmacaroni Posts: 243 Member
    Is didn't like my photos at first either. After a year I looked back at them and I love them! You'll think differently of them over time
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    Nothing you can do will change the past, but you can use it as motivation to be more healthy going forward. In 5 years you can renew your vows and be in the dress you really want.
  • oolou
    oolou Posts: 765 Member
    I'm sorry that you are so upset. I get it. I look back at my graduation photos from uni and wish that I liked one of them enough to display, but I don't. Not quite the same as wedding photos, but I get where you are coming from and am sending you a virtual hug.

    Try to use this as motivation. The advice others are giving about having new photos taken when you have lost the weight (and you will!) is something to shoot for.
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    Not to downplay your photos, but heck, you have a husband who loves you! Lose the weight and take some new photos in a new dress. The photos could have been better, but the most important thing about the wedding was a raging success -- you got married to someone who loves you. Go forward and be happy and get cracking on losing the weight.
  • Unknown
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  • ald783
    ald783 Posts: 688 Member
    How much you weigh in your wedding photos is a tiny fraction of what the photos are actually capturing. And in the end they're just photos and have little to do with the significance of the day or your marriage.

    I look back at pictures of me when I weighed 300 pounds but if they captured me doing fun things when I was happy, it doesn't really matter how much I weighed in them. It's more about the memory than about whether you're at your ideal weight at every moment of your life.

    Like someone else said, most people will look back at wedding photos years later and laugh at the silly hairstyles and dresses and other outdated trends. Don't let how you look in a picture affect your happiness in other areas of life.
  • casmithis
    casmithis Posts: 216 Member
    I agree with what all the others said about looking at the "love" in the photos but you "could" always use it and print one of the pics you really don't like and put it on the junk food cupboard or attach it to the top of the ice cream container.
  • nadler64
    nadler64 Posts: 124 Member
    What is it exactly that you're looking for here? What do you want us to say? Quit whining. There is no magic pill, no secret. If you want to lose the weight, commit yourself and start today. Not tomorrow, today. No fad diets, no quick-loss schemes, no cleanses - they're all bullsh*t and will you do more harm than good.

    Start with a call to your doctor and get him or her to connect you to a registered dietician (NOT a "nutritionist") and an exercise physiologist. They can help you learn better habits and set realistic goals, and having to report to them every so often will help you stay accountable. After that, it's all on you.

    You got yourself into this situation with bad choices and bad habits over a long time. It will take a long time to undo all that and learn a healthier way of living. Know this going in and you will have a chance to reach your goal.

    How badly do you want to lose weight, and more importantly, WHY do you want to lose weight? Ask yourself those questions and be honest about the answers (not an easy thing to do). Time to take responsibility for where you are. No excuses. Go.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    edited August 2016
    Let's start with what went right with your wedding. You're married, so both of you showed up, and that's an excellent start.

    I didn't even want a wedding when I got married. It's too much stress over one day that has nothing to do with the success of the rest of your marriage.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    nadler64 wrote: »
    What is it exactly that you're looking for here? What do you want us to say? Quit whining. There is no magic pill, no secret. If you want to lose the weight, commit yourself and start today. Not tomorrow, today. No fad diets, no quick-loss schemes, no cleanses - they're all bullsh*t and will you do more harm than good.

    Start with a call to your doctor and get him or her to connect you to a registered dietician (NOT a "nutritionist") and an exercise physiologist. They can help you learn better habits and set realistic goals, and having to report to them every so often will help you stay accountable. After that, it's all on you.

    You got yourself into this situation with bad choices and bad habits over a long time. It will take a long time to undo all that and learn a healthier way of living. Know this going in and you will have a chance to reach your goal.

    How badly do you want to lose weight, and more importantly, WHY do you want to lose weight? Ask yourself those questions and be honest about the answers (not an easy thing to do). Time to take responsibility for where you are. No excuses. Go.

    can i just ask, is there a right or wrong answer to why someone wants to lose weight?
  • Trish1c
    Trish1c Posts: 549 Member
    I hated my wedding photos too & cried over them. It's a heartbreaking feeling. To this day I have never put together my wedding album nor have I looked at my wedding video (which I never wanted).

    Give yourself a good cry then let it go. Concentrate on how much you love your new hubby. Then start going for romantic walks after dinner & come home & have raucous sex because on top of how much fun it is, it's a great calorie burn. <3
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Hon... marriage isn't about what you wore or what you weighed the day you tied the knot. It's about the day to day relationship you have with your spouse and how you grow together over the years. You are just as married as people who starved for a year to get into their dresses.

    Once you are at your goal weight, you can always do one of those anniversary celebration ceremonies, where people reenact the wedding ceremony, and get good photos with a really nice dress then.
  • kenyainez
    kenyainez Posts: 222 Member
    First, you gotta stop being so hard on yourself. You're a plus size bride, nothing wrong with that. I'm sorry that you allowed your day to not be the best day of your life because of your size. But at the end of the day we have choices, and we choose how we eat, if we workout or not, or how we cope with our issues. First we have to take ownership that we allow certain things to happen and outside of medical conditions we choose to eat more than what we should. Own it, accept it, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and fight back. If you keep feeling down on yourself, you're feelings about you could end up negatively affecting your marriage; you nor your husband deserve that. Use how you feel now as motivation to not feel this way anymore. No, it won't all be gone in a few weeks but if you're moving forward to a more healthier and happier lifestyle then that's enough to keep you going. You got this. Get after it. This is on you.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
    I understand - I have zero pictures of me pregnant because I gained weight. I wish I had at least a few to show my daughter, but oh well.

    All you can do is get to where you want to be, and take more pics. They don't have to be wedding pictures, but just some professional shots with your husband (or without) - whatever makes you feel good!

  • Sarc_Warrior
    Sarc_Warrior Posts: 430 Member
    Your husband loves you for who you are. Focus on that. Forget the pics.
  • nadler64
    nadler64 Posts: 124 Member
    I never said there was. The answer to that question will vary depending on where a person is in his or her life. But asking the question will help her determine exactly why she's so miserable. Is her desire to lose weight internally or externally motivated? Whose expectations does she *think* she's failing to meet? Her own? Her husband's? Friends? Family? Society? What does she want to accomplish by losing the weight? Once she figures that out, she'll be in a much better position to adjust her thinking and move forward with goals and a plan to meet them.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    edited August 2016
    nadler64 wrote: »
    I never said there was. The answer to that question will vary depending on where a person is in his or her life. But asking the question will help her determine exactly why she's so miserable. Is her desire to lose weight internally or externally motivated? Whose expectations does she *think* she's failing to meet? Her own? Her husband's? Friends? Family? Society? What does she want to accomplish by losing the weight? Once she figures that out, she'll be in a much better position to adjust her thinking and move forward with goals and a plan to meet them.

    thanks for responding
    was just curious. calm down.
    i never thought about it so deeply thats why i asked.
  • nadler64
    nadler64 Posts: 124 Member
    I'm not excited. :) But in friends and family, and in plenty of folks here, I see the desire to lose weight but rarely is the reason for that desire articulated - if you don't know why you want to accomplish something (whether it's losing weight or getting accepted at Harvard or through-hiking the Appalachian Trail) , it's pretty certain you're not going to do it. The few people who really understand their motivation are the ones who succeed, and that motivation almost invariably comes from within.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    casmithis wrote: »
    I agree with what all the others said about looking at the "love" in the photos but you "could" always use it and print one of the pics you really don't like and put it on the junk food cupboard or attach it to the top of the ice cream container.

    I don't think that associating the wedding with the shame or failure is a positive thing for her. This is the worst idea ever.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    nadler64 wrote: »
    I'm not excited. :) But in friends and family, and in plenty of folks here, I see the desire to lose weight but rarely is the reason for that desire articulated - if you don't know why you want to accomplish something (whether it's losing weight or getting accepted at Harvard or through-hiking the Appalachian Trail) , it's pretty certain you're not going to do it. The few people who really understand their motivation are the ones who succeed, and that motivation almost invariably comes from within.
    nadler64 wrote: »
    I'm not excited. :) But in friends and family, and in plenty of folks here, I see the desire to lose weight but rarely is the reason for that desire articulated - if you don't know why you want to accomplish something (whether it's losing weight or getting accepted at Harvard or through-hiking the Appalachian Trail) , it's pretty certain you're not going to do it. The few people who really understand their motivation are the ones who succeed, and that motivation almost invariably comes from within.

    i wanted to lose weight for vanity reasons. holiday with 3 other women and i didnt want to be the biggest.
    holiday fell through but i still lost the weight. 3 years later my holiday clothes still fit and i still exercise even though i hate it. So i could have really just put it all back on because my reasons were quite flaky. Thats why i was checking the relevance of the question. I just think if you want to lose the weight who cares just plan how you are going to do it and keep at it.

    OP back to you.

    Lose the weight if you really want to
    retake lots of pictures when you are ready
    i realised back then i had hardly any pictures of myself. now i click away.
    good luck

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