"What did you do?" to lose weight questions. Sorta the wrong question.

DetroitDarin

The secret to success. The path to victory. The summit of Everest; especially our personal Everest.

Speaking with a coworker about my changes, he said "What did you do? I need to lose a little weight too!"

What did you do - as a question is innocuous. I believe folks have good intentions but I think I cannot answer honestly. I want to tell them how battling my weight is not something I do or did, it's something I am. It's how I am. The question might-should be something like "You've lost some weight! Who did you become to do that?" I am not speaking of fundamental changes to my core - my personality and whatnot - but I am talking about fundamental changes to who I am in regards to food. I tell folks - because I think it's rude to try to correct their question - "I eat what I want - and I exercise as much as I can."

The first part gets another question "Whatever you want?? Portion size control?"

"Not really portion sizes although that's part of it. I eat what I want and what I want to eat are things that promote the weight loss I need."

For me and perhaps others dieting is not merely a matter of doing something (burning calories) or not-doing something (not-burning calories) It's not a matter of we must become for this lifestyle choice to stick. For us to stick with it.

Maybe we perpetually fat - and maybe we aren't morbidly obese, but probably 40lbs over weight? Just throwing out a number - but we often face decades-long struggle to stop eating so damned much. Diets are like vacations from Fatness and I find that funny because I believe the word Diet should speak to something like "Generally what I eat" - diet is not a status so much as a pattern. Until Diets (used like "I need to go on a diet) themselves become the norm like smokers who do not quit but merely pause and I relate to that phenomenon.

This time I am a little over one month into this thing and I feel unstoppable. Of course I feel unstoppable - I have only just started.

Back to the point at hand - I must become somebody else in regards to my diet. Diet cannot be something I do but a plan for who I am and wish to be. I must live like I want to live when I am fit - to establish patterns of food consumption commensurate with somebody already 'there' - wherever there is. My 'there' probably lives around 190lbs - although that is still overweight according to BMI, 190 is healthy on me. But maybe 190 becomes 185 or becomes 202 because who I am will trump what I've done to reach any of those weights. Because who I am IS a 190lbs guy in a ~240lbs body and on this side 40 or 50lbs might as well be mount Everest. To reach the top of Everest one does not merely climb because anyone can merely climb, one must become a climber through training and discipline. I do not know anything about Climbing but I suspect folks do not train to climb exactly mount Everest - they climb to reach higher than Everest; they climb to be indefatigable. To reach the status of fit I must live my life in a way that fitness becomes the result - but the living-my-life part. I must work first to be tireless in my pursuit and focus on the process and allow whatever goals to happen or not happen as fate has it.

That make any sense? Is it painfully and pitifully obvious? Either way, helps me to write it out then read it. Feedback always welcome.



TLDR = losing weight is more about who you need to become rather than specifically what you do, because who you are drives what you do.

flrancho

What I get irritated about is when people ask me this or for advise on weight loss and I tell them how I personally did it - portion control, eating healthier, and exercise.

And they respond with, that is a lot of work I think I'm just going to do this pill or try this shake. It'll be easier.

I bite my tongue and don't say anything, but inwardly I'm thinking that that pill or shake also won't work - at least not long term. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to give anyone weight loss advice anymore because no one actually wants advice, they want an easy shortcut where they can eat whatever they want and not have to exercise.

DetroitDarin

thanks - yes. both of those play into this is so much beyond what we do - it's about who we become. We become the person who finds being unhealthy actually more work; we find it unappealing. All that.

Francl27

DetroitDarin wrote: »

thanks - yes. both of those play into this is so much beyond what we do - it's about who we become. We become the person who finds being unhealthy actually more work; we find it unappealing. All that.

In my case it's what actually made me want to start losing weight.

rsclause

I lost over 50 and gained 10 back because I slacked off my running. I still enjoy the new "me" and the changes I have made. I guess it is no longer new but I am still having fun with it.

Machka9

I've been asked this question numerous times. I tried explaining CI<CO at first, because that's how it is done, but people don't want to hear that.

They want to hear that I went paleo or vegetarian or cut out all sugar or started Jenny Craig or something extreme. They want a diet with a name. And the name CI<CO isn't catchy enough.

Finally I settled on "portion control" as my go-to answer.

LazSommer

pizza