Possible Wedding "Situation"

dolliesdaughter

A coworker will be getting married at the end of August. Back in 2014 the coworker "A" her sister, another coworker "B" and myself went to Jamaica on a 7 day vacation. Soon after coworker "B" went to another worksite, we all still communicate. Coworker "A" got engaged on New Year's Day.

Coworker "A" said that she was having a small wedding just family and close friends. While we are close at work as work "Friends", I thought that was a hint that I wasn't going to be invited to the wedding, no big deal, I was still going to get a wedding gift, because she and her future husband are good people. BTW we are all 45+ years old. Last week she told me that her friends were planning her bridal shower the last Sunday in September. She also said that she had her wedding invitations and they were beautiful, so I ask could I see it. She said "NO", then she said that I would see it when I received it in the mail. Oh, so I am invited, cool. Coworker "B" called me last night, while we were chit chatting the wedding topic came up. She said that "WE" weren't invited because she ask coworker "A' about HER invitation (yeah, I know) and was told that it was just close family and friends, way back in the spring. I did not say one word about me being invited to the wedding.

In the grand scheme of things it is not my battle\problem (not my wedding). I will not bring up to the bride what coworker "B" inquired\stated (she make take it as a ploy from me to invite coworker B ). My thing is how should I handle things with coworker "B"?

TavistockToad

i think if/when coworker b mentions the wedding again, you should say you're going...

bit awkward though!!!

km8907

Just don't let her find out.

dolliesdaughter

TavistockToad wrote: »

i think if/when coworker b mentions the wedding again, you should say you're going...

bit awkward though!!!

In my mind I was working on "Technicalities" since I have not received the physical invitation, I just kept my mouth shut, and I sort of slowly changed the subject. If I had the physical invitation I think I would have just told her, "Hey, I received an invitation". YES, extremely awkward.

dolliesdaughter

km8907 wrote: »

Just don't let her find out.

YES, see my response to @TavistockToad.

mazdauk

Don't mention it and don't show her the photos!

dolliesdaughter

Correction ***the wedding is at the end of October***

dolliesdaughter

mazdauk wrote: »

Don't mention it and don't show her the photos!

I don't take pictures at weddings. I will inform her before the wedding, that I will be attending. I really don't want her to blind sided. It is just awkward.

tcunbeliever

I really don't understand why people get miffed at not being invited to weddings...it's very expensive per person to host and usually costs prohibit couples from having everyone they want attending...it's tough to have to decide who to cut and every bride would probably want everyone at their wedding if cost was not a concern.

Hopefully B will understand that since she works elsewhere now and isn't someone A sees ever single day (I'm assuming) that she is just slightly more distant on the friends list than you are, and if she has any grace she will be happy that you are able to attend and can get all the fun details about the ceremony from you...vicarious living for the win.

dolliesdaughter

tcunbeliever wrote: »

I really don't understand why people get miffed at not being invited to weddings...it's very expensive per person to host and usually costs prohibit couples from having everyone they want attending...it's tough to have to decide who to cut and every bride would probably want everyone at their wedding if cost was not a concern.

Hopefully B will understand that since she works elsewhere now and isn't someone A sees ever single day (I'm assuming) that she is just slightly more distant on the friends list than you are, and if she has any grace she will be happy that you are able to attend and can get all the fun details about the ceremony from you...vicarious living for the win.

I agree 100%. Like I mentioned, I wasn't expecting an invitation.

TavistockToad

tcunbeliever wrote: »

I really don't understand why people get miffed at not being invited to weddings...it's very expensive per person to host and usually costs prohibit couples from having everyone they want attending...it's tough to have to decide who to cut and every bride would probably want everyone at their wedding if cost was not a concern.

Hopefully B will understand that since she works elsewhere now and isn't someone A sees ever single day (I'm assuming) that she is just slightly more distant on the friends list than you are, and if she has any grace she will be happy that you are able to attend and can get all the fun details about the ceremony from you...vicarious living for the win.

i agree, but weddings seem to make people act craaaaaaaaaazy for some reason!

MsAmandaNJ

If B brings it up again, let her know that you are going...lying to her could make matters worse than being a little uncomfortable. If she wants to make plans with you for the wedding day, you'll only have to lie to her again. I'd rather hear a hard truth than be insulted with a lie.

dolliesdaughter

MsAmandaNJ wrote: »

If B brings it up again, let her know that you are going...lying to her could make matters worse than being a little uncomfortable. If she wants to make plans with you for the wedding day, you'll only have to lie to her again. I'd rather hear a hard truth than be insulted with a lie.

I would never lie, I was just thrown when she brought it up, especially when she said, "WE" were not invited to the wedding. I my head I was thinking "speak for yourself".

dolliesdaughter

TavistockToad wrote: »

tcunbeliever wrote: »

I really don't understand why people get miffed at not being invited to weddings...it's very expensive per person to host and usually costs prohibit couples from having everyone they want attending...it's tough to have to decide who to cut and every bride would probably want everyone at their wedding if cost was not a concern.

Hopefully B will understand that since she works elsewhere now and isn't someone A sees ever single day (I'm assuming) that she is just slightly more distant on the friends list than you are, and if she has any grace she will be happy that you are able to attend and can get all the fun details about the ceremony from you...vicarious living for the win.

i agree, but weddings seem to make people act craaaaaaaaaazy for some reason!

Weddings and funerals.

mazdauk

Unless she means her and other half? A colleague here got married recently and specifically wrote only the name of the invitee (not +1, not "and"), and one colleague replied on h=behalf of herself and hubby. AWKWARD! IN the end the bride sent an email round to all the colleagues and former colleagues invited, saying she had hoped to be able to extend to other halves but space did not permit. The message got home without any awkwardness.

dolliesdaughter

mazdauk wrote: »

Unless she means her and other half? A colleague here got married recently and specifically wrote only the name of the invitee (not +1, not "and"), and one colleague replied on h=behalf of herself and hubby. AWKWARD! IN the end the bride sent an email round to all the colleagues and former colleagues invited, saying she had hoped to be able to extend to other halves but space did not permit. The message got home without any awkwardness.

@mazdauk She meant "WE" as her and I. I read invitations carefully and make note if it is address to me only.

My one friend ask me hypothecially if it is addressed as plus one and Coworker "B" ask could she attend with me would I take her. I said heck nah, that is an insult to the bride, especially since the bride didn't invite her. Something similar happened at a work Christmas party, an employee invited an ex employee who had been terminated as their plus one. That was one strange party.