Post Anorexia Weight Loss - Help with how to eat

Iccleamelia

Hi everyone,

So I'm weight restored from anorexia two years strong now, and ended up gaining even more weight than I needed or wanted to after recovery. I don't ever overeat, so I don't know how it happened but I want to be able to lose 7 pounds again to get to a weight I feel comfortable with (and is a healthy BMI 20).

I am currently 20 years old, 120lbs and I am 5'2". I only eat 1000 to 1200 calories a day (sometimes less) and I exercise 5 times a week for 30-60 minutes doing swimming and strength training. - but the weight just won't come off like it did before my ED!!!

I very recently am attempting to up my calories to 1400-1500 to see if that helps, but I am so so scared of gaining even more weight as I am already deeply unhappy with the way I look and how calories, food, body image and exercise cloud my mind every second of the day.

So I was wondering if anyone on here had any advice - I've researched so much into it but there so many different answers! Some say I may be eating more than I think, some say I'm not eating enough, some say my metabolism is damaged - but really I just don't know what to do!

Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!

RoxieDawn

How many years with the ed? Have you had a metabolic blood panel and/or hormonal blood profile done anytime during this post recovery?

And why are you trying to loose weight again? From your OP, you discussed that calories, food, body image and exercise are clouding your mind every second of the day? This to me are still triggers or red flags the recovery process is still going on and needs more time? Do you still have access to your medical team that help you with recovery or did you use a doctor?

Iccleamelia

RoxieDawn wrote: »

How many years with the ed? Have you had a metabolic blood panel and/or hormonal blood profile done anytime during this post recovery?

And why are you trying to loose weight again? From your OP, you discussed that calories, food, body image and exercise are clouding your mind every second of the day? This to me are still triggers or red flags the recovery process is still going on and needs more time? Do you still have access to your medical team that help you with recovery or did you use a doctor?

I only had ED full blown for 1 year, and I did have blood tests and hormone tests including thyroid function but they came back fine.

And I would like to just lose 7 pounds to feel comfortable in my body again and not feel I have to starve on 1000-1200 cals a day just to even maintain!

And no I don't, the ED service I went to discharged me with very short notice and refuse to see me because i am not underweight.

PricillaKorea

I would say, as a person who used to have anorexia binge purge sub-type, that you should carefully examine your diet. Make sure that you are eating enough still, and then I would consult your doctor. Not to blow things out of proportion but even losing a few pounds could make you spiral into the full fledged eating disorder of your past. Make sure you realize that healthy and skinny are not the same thing, and you should strive for health not thin.

Iccleamelia

PricillaKorea wrote: »

I would say, as a person who used to have anorexia binge purge sub-type, that you should carefully examine your diet. Make sure that you are eating enough still, and then I would consult your doctor. Not to blow things out of proportion but even losing a few pounds could make you spiral into the full fledged eating disorder of your past. Make sure you realize that healthy and skinny are not the same thing, and you should strive for health not thin.

Is 1000-1200 enough though? or should i be eating more? I am just so scared that if i am maintaining on such an amount that if i eat any more my weight will skyrocket!

Every time i go to my doctor they just offer my antidepressants, but i don't need that - I need to see a dietician and get some counselling but they won't let me because I'm "not ill enough"

salsera_barbie

Iccleamelia wrote: »

PricillaKorea wrote: »

I would say, as a person who used to have anorexia binge purge sub-type, that you should carefully examine your diet. Make sure that you are eating enough still, and then I would consult your doctor. Not to blow things out of proportion but even losing a few pounds could make you spiral into the full fledged eating disorder of your past. Make sure you realize that healthy and skinny are not the same thing, and you should strive for health not thin.

Is 1000-1200 enough though? or should i be eating more? I am just so scared that if i am maintaining on such an amount that if i eat any more my weight will skyrocket!

Every time i go to my doctor they just offer my antidepressants, but i don't need that - I need to see a dietician and get some counselling but they won't let me because I'm "not ill enough"

1000 calories is not enough. 1200 is the minimum and even then depending on your height and weight is usually way too low.

dragon_girl26

Since you are at a healthy weight already, rather than losing additional weight, have you considered doing a body recomposition with a weight lifting program? There are currently folks much more well versed on this site about this particular suggestion (I haven't made it to this stage of my weight loss yet), but I've seen Strong Curves, Stronglifts 5x5, and New Rules of Weight Lifting offered up as suggestions for getting started. It may give you guidance towards the results you're looking for, plus, you wouldn't have to drastically cut calories.
I would also echo the advice above about treading carefully, and of course discussing your plans with your doctor.

RoxieDawn

Iccleamelia wrote: »

PricillaKorea wrote: »

I would say, as a person who used to have anorexia binge purge sub-type, that you should carefully examine your diet. Make sure that you are eating enough still, and then I would consult your doctor. Not to blow things out of proportion but even losing a few pounds could make you spiral into the full fledged eating disorder of your past. Make sure you realize that healthy and skinny are not the same thing, and you should strive for health not thin.

Is 1000-1200 enough though? or should i be eating more? I am just so scared that if i am maintaining on such an amount that if i eat any more my weight will skyrocket!

Every time i go to my doctor they just offer my antidepressants, but i don't need that - I need to see a dietician and get some counselling but they won't let me because I'm "not ill enough"

I know you know that the 1200 calories and less a day is a bad idea? You are still in my mind in recovery. I am gonna say please go back to your doctor or find another one. Your concerns are still in the "disordered thinking" releam. I am not trying to be negative in the least. So what you direction you choose to go into, please reconsider the 1200 calories less idea.

javba2

Firstly - I would like to congratulate you on being in recovery for 2 years, and continuing to work on Staying healthy - and then asking these questions here. I have a few thoughts to share - so here goes.

1- Our metabolisms slow as we go thru years - and that's one of the reasons wt does not respond "like it used to" when we'd been younger.
2- Understand one critical piece of ED (any type) is how we feel about our bodies - i.e. self image perception - which is in most ED people distorted, and so is the response i.e. bingeing or restricting.

Now to some ideas on how to work on these.

1- The wt calculator - daily calories recommendation we get at the profile settings http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided

Is a good place to start about "how many calories should be taken for wt loss or gain" - again - it's not to be used to seek immediate results - all people are in a continuous variation - and that's normal. Make sure you are eating at least that amount of calories PLUS what ever you are exercising.

2- Going from this intake (as mentioned above) adjust calories to stay at 20 BMI - which is the middle of the healthy BMI range.

3- If there is depression - anxiety or other treatable conditions these should be treated - because they interfere with well-being and healthy body image (not to mention maintaining good body wt).

4- As a 20 yrs old - you need and need to have health insurance under ObamaCare - and have access to counseling. It's difficult because of the applications and negotiating the maze of how it's done. This is a good place to start https://www.healthcare.gov/ additionally - ask your local community or county healthcare clinic if they have "facilitators" these are people trained to help people get into health insurance.

Good Luck and yes - Keep Positive thinking people around you.

Iccleamelia

dragon_girl26 wrote: »

Since you are at a healthy weight already, rather than losing additional weight, have you considered doing a body recomposition with a weight lifting program? There are currently folks much more well versed on this site about this particular suggestion (I haven't made it to this stage of my weight loss yet), but I've seen Strong Curves, Stronglifts 5x5, and New Rules of Weight Lifting offered up as suggestions for getting started. It may give you guidance towards the results you're looking for, plus, you wouldn't have to drastically cut calories.
I would also echo the advice above about treading carefully, and of course discussing your plans with your doctor.

Yes I mentioned in my OP I do some strength training (mostly using fitnessBlender) I haven't seen any physical changes yet though, so hoping when i return to uni I can give those you suggested a go! I am quite strong already - that is a difference i have noticed :P

Iccleamelia

RoxieDawn wrote: »

I know you know that the 1200 calories and less a day is a bad idea? You are still in my mind in recovery. I am gonna say please go back to your doctor or find another one. Your concerns are still in the "disordered thinking" releam. I am not trying to be negative in the least. So what you direction you choose to go into, please reconsider the 1200 calories less idea.

I got thrown in at the deep end as my ED service discharged me as soon as i hit 7st. I would love to eat more, It's just i am scared to as my body seems to maintain on 1200?

Every doc i go to tries to either refer me back to an ED service (and i get rejected) or tries to give me anti-depressants - I just need some help, I've been trying for 2 years to get it...

RoxieDawn

Iccleamelia wrote: »

dragon_girl26 wrote: »

Since you are at a healthy weight already, rather than losing additional weight, have you considered doing a body recomposition with a weight lifting program? There are currently folks much more well versed on this site about this particular suggestion (I haven't made it to this stage of my weight loss yet), but I've seen Strong Curves, Stronglifts 5x5, and New Rules of Weight Lifting offered up as suggestions for getting started. It may give you guidance towards the results you're looking for, plus, you wouldn't have to drastically cut calories.
I would also echo the advice above about treading carefully, and of course discussing your plans with your doctor.

Yes I mentioned in my OP I do some strength training (mostly using fitnessBlender) I haven't seen any physical changes yet though, so hoping when i return to uni I can give those you suggested a go! I am quite strong already - that is a difference i have noticed :P

If you are up to the next challenge, instead of wanting to loose any additional weight, you can do this for quite a while and no need to cut calories as you mentioned. If I now understand this better, you are really not wanting to loose weight but would like to be stronger, build some muscle and change body composition..

This is the way to get there. Keep in mind this requires maintenance calories not not a large deficit. One of these programs is something I hope that you will consider and if you find yourself struggling with not seeing results fast enough, just know that this does take a little while but it does work if you give it time. There are lot of threads in here in MFP about this subject and there is a lot women (and men) that have done this or have already done this myself included.

Iccleamelia

javba2 wrote: »

Firstly - I would like to congratulate you on being in recovery for 2 years, and continuing to work on Staying healthy - and then asking these questions here. I have a few thoughts to share - so here goes.

1- Our metabolisms slow as we go thru years - and that's one of the reasons wt does not respond "like it used to" when we'd been younger.
2- Understand one critical piece of ED (any type) is how we feel about our bodies - i.e. self image perception - which is in most ED people distorted, and so is the response i.e. bingeing or restricting.

Now to some ideas on how to work on these.

1- The wt calculator - daily calories recommendation we get at the profile settings http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided

Is a good place to start about "how many calories should be taken for wt loss or gain" - again - it's not to be used to seek immediate results - all people are in a continuous variation - and that's normal. Make sure you are eating at least that amount of calories PLUS what ever you are exercising.

2- Going from this intake (as mentioned above) adjust calories to stay at 20 BMI - which is the middle of the healthy BMI range.

3- If there is depression - anxiety or other treatable conditions these should be treated - because they interfere with well-being and healthy body image (not to mention maintaining good body wt).

4- As a 20 yrs old - you need and need to have health insurance under ObamaCare - and have access to counseling. It's difficult because of the applications and negotiating the maze of how it's done. This is a good place to start https://www.healthcare.gov/ additionally - ask your local community or county healthcare clinic if they have "facilitators" these are people trained to help people get into health insurance.

Good Luck and yes - Keep Positive thinking people around you.

Thank you

yes, I know metabolism slows the older you get - it's hitting me hard right about now, haha!

What I want to say is, that myfitnesspal says on my goals that to lose weight i need 1200 - which is why i am so focused on that number I guess... however to fix my metabolism, shouldn't i be having more than that? or will i just gain?

And i do have insurance of some kind, I live in UK so it's on the NHS.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

smurfette54

Just as a reference point, I am 5'0". As of this week I am 123 lbs. This gives me a BMI of 24. Recently I was reaching 130 lbs, so I started tracking my food as i did not want to gain and felt I needed to lose (was once 180 lbs and refuse to go back there). So I have been tracking for about 2 months and have lost 6 lbs or so. I eat an average of 1500 calories a day. I do exercise usually 6 days a week and 2-3 of those days are strength training. I have been losing about 1/2 of a pound a week. I think what is really working for me is that I make sure (or do my best) to get about 35% of my calories from protein which can be really difficult at times. I have added whey protein isolate to one of those meals which I believe has really increase my muscle mass which has helped with my metabolism and so I get the weight loss.

So really, I am telling you all of this for a reference, that eating 1400-1500 calories a day will probably be fine especially with the protein on board so you can build muscle and get rid of fat. Maybe this will help, maybe it wont, we are all different. Try new things and try to banish your fears and self doubt. Remember too that the scale isn't everything, it is more about how your clothes fit than anything.


"Cause fear in itself will reel you in and spit you out over and over again.
Believe in yourself and you will walk. Now, fear in itself will use you up and break you down like you were never enough. Yeah, I used to fall, now I get back up."

One of my favorite Lyrics from 'Blue October' about fear

Iccleamelia

RoxieDawn wrote: »

If you are up to the next challenge, instead of wanting to loose any additional weight, you can do this for quite a while and no need to cut calories as you mentioned. If I now understand this better, you are really not wanting to loose weight but would like to be stronger, build some muscle and change body composition..

This is the way to get there. Keep in mind this requires maintenance calories not not a large deficit. One of these programs is something I hope that you will consider and if you find yourself struggling with not seeing results fast enough, just know that this does take a little while but it does work if you give it time. There are lot of threads in here in MFP about this subject and there is a lot women (and men) that have done this or have already done this myself included.

Yes I'd love to become leaner, I've found I don't build muscle easily though so it'll take a lot of work!

I've looked into clean eating, too as I find myself not eating enough wholesome foods to coincide with the training. Which programme(s) have you done?

Iccleamelia

smurfette54 wrote: »

Just as a reference point, I am 5'0". As of this week I am 123 lbs. This gives me a BMI of 24. Recently I was reaching 130 lbs, so I started tracking my food as i did not want to gain and felt I needed to lose (was once 180 lbs and refuse to go back there). So I have been tracking for about 2 months and have lost 6 lbs or so. I eat an average of 1500 calories a day. I do exercise usually 6 days a week and 2-3 of those days are strength training. I have been losing about 1/2 of a pound a week. I think what is really working for me is that I make sure (or do my best) to get about 35% of my calories from protein which can be really difficult at times. I have added whey protein isolate to one of those meals which I believe has really increase my muscle mass which has helped with my metabolism and so I get the weight loss.

So really, I am telling you all of this for a reference, that eating 1400-1500 calories a day will probably be fine especially with the protein on board so you can build muscle and get rid of fat. Maybe this will help, maybe it wont, we are all different. Try new things and try to banish your fears and self doubt. Remember too that the scale isn't everything, it is more about how your clothes fit than anything.


"Cause fear in itself will reel you in and spit you out over and over again.
Believe in yourself and you will walk. Now, fear in itself will use you up and break you down like you were never enough. Yeah, I used to fall, now I get back up."

One of my favorite Lyrics from 'Blue October' about fear

Congrats on your loss!

I'm glad you've found something that works for you, and that is healthy and sustainable- that is something I would absolutely love to achieve!
What kinds of lifts/weights/exercises do you do?

You're right about experimentation and that there is a lot of fear involved when upping calories in case of weight gain. Once I can find a happy medium I can stop stressing about food and how I look, to turn my focus on other important things.

VintageFeline

You could do a bit of reverse dieting. 1 year of under-eating will have caused some adaptive thermogenesis and muscle loss. Both will have lowered your BMR and thus have an impact on what your maintenance calories are but i think with some careful work you could increase both. Age really has a nominal impact on ability to lose weight, maintaining muscle mass pretty much negates it and if you're young don't even give it a second thought.

And it's not just you that builds muscle slowly, it's all women, particularly if not lifting truly heavy (not a criticism, I do Fitness Blender too and am totally happy with what will be slower progress in that department as I'm not personally interested in "proper" heavy lifting).

Accept you may see scale weight increases but this is nothing to panic about.

But I would really love it if you became a really strong self advocate and see a different GP, take notes and make it very clear you really need further help to get yourself to a happier, healthier place in both mind and body. I fear, like others, that you are still very much in recovery and still have some disordered thinking that should be addressed along with dietician support to help you transition back to "normal" calorie intakes.

What you eat doesn't matter for weight loss/gain, it's how much. If eating "clean" is too intimidating/triggering/just not something you fancy, no need to do it. Just aim for a wide and varied diet you enjoy.

Iccleamelia

VintageFeline wrote: »

You could do a bit of reverse dieting. 1 year of under-eating will have caused some adaptive thermogenesis and muscle loss. Both will have lowered your BMR and thus have an impact on what your maintenance calories are but i think with some careful work you could increase both. Age really has a nominal impact on ability to lose weight, maintaining muscle mass pretty much negates it and if you're young don't even give it a second thought.

And it's not just you that builds muscle slowly, it's all women, particularly if not lifting truly heavy (not a criticism, I do Fitness Blender too and am totally happy with what will be slower progress in that department as I'm not personally interested in "proper" heavy lifting).

Accept you may see scale weight increases but this is nothing to panic about.

But I would really love it if you became a really strong self advocate and see a different GP, take notes and make it very clear you really need further help to get yourself to a happier, healthier place in both mind and body. I fear, like others, that you are still very much in recovery and still have some disordered thinking that should be addressed along with dietician support to help you transition back to "normal" calorie intakes.

What you eat doesn't matter for weight loss/gain, it's how much. If eating "clean" is too intimidating/triggering/just not something you fancy, no need to do it. Just aim for a wide and varied diet you enjoy.

Exactly what I thought! I suppose there's only one way to find out, but if I do it I might not be able to get the weight back off again should that method fail >.<
I binged a lot before I was weight restored, simply because my body was trying to repair itself - the need to binge just suddenly stopped as soon as i reached 7st!

I'm fairly young, I'm 20 so not a kid but not a woman quite either :P

I would be over the moon to have some proper treatment like i should have had during recovery - i had hardly any guidance. I'm going to keep trying though but every time i am refused i get so upset and i cry so much...

Why is it i have to be skinny to get help???

jennifer_417

Iccleamelia wrote: »

VintageFeline wrote: »

You could do a bit of reverse dieting. 1 year of under-eating will have caused some adaptive thermogenesis and muscle loss. Both will have lowered your BMR and thus have an impact on what your maintenance calories are but i think with some careful work you could increase both. Age really has a nominal impact on ability to lose weight, maintaining muscle mass pretty much negates it and if you're young don't even give it a second thought.

And it's not just you that builds muscle slowly, it's all women, particularly if not lifting truly heavy (not a criticism, I do Fitness Blender too and am totally happy with what will be slower progress in that department as I'm not personally interested in "proper" heavy lifting).

Accept you may see scale weight increases but this is nothing to panic about.

But I would really love it if you became a really strong self advocate and see a different GP, take notes and make it very clear you really need further help to get yourself to a happier, healthier place in both mind and body. I fear, like others, that you are still very much in recovery and still have some disordered thinking that should be addressed along with dietician support to help you transition back to "normal" calorie intakes.

What you eat doesn't matter for weight loss/gain, it's how much. If eating "clean" is too intimidating/triggering/just not something you fancy, no need to do it. Just aim for a wide and varied diet you enjoy.

Exactly what I thought! I suppose there's only one way to find out, but if I do it I might not be able to get the weight back off again should that method fail >.<
I binged a lot before I was weight restored, simply because my body was trying to repair itself - the need to binge just suddenly stopped as soon as i reached 7st!

I'm fairly young, I'm 20 so not a kid but not a woman quite either :P

I would be over the moon to have some proper treatment like i should have had during recovery - i had hardly any guidance. I'm going to keep trying though but every time i am refused i get so upset and i cry so much...

Why is it i have to be skinny to get help???

Because, unfortunately, our health care system is so overburdened, that only the most desperate cases get the help they really need, and sometimes not even they do.

Honestly, I find some of your responses in this thread to be a bit concerning, and it worries me that you don't have more support. I read where you talked to your Dr, and he offered you antidepressants. They are at least somewhat trained to recognize the symptoms, maybe it would be helpful for you to take his advice? EDs do tend to have their roots in depression, and it may actually help you to feel better.

I'm not one to think that pill solves every problem, but if it can help, then why not at least try it?

concrete_daisies

EDIT: The ppl above have already given really good advice

dragon_girl26

emmykayyy wrote: »

I'm gonna also point out that if you are doing strength training, some of that weight might be muscle rather than fat If you are doing a fair amount of exercise please don't eat below 1200

Not likely. OP says she's currently only eating 1000 to 1200 calories a day. In order to build significant muscle of any kind, she would need to be eating more than that. If anything, eating a VLCD (which is essentially what she's doing right now) would cause muscle loss.

concrete_daisies

dragon_girl26 wrote: »

Not likely. OP says she's currently only eating 1000 to 1200 calories a day. In order to build significant muscle of any kind, she would need to be eating more than that. If anything, eating a VLCD (which is essentially what she's doing right now) would cause muscle loss.

Yeah, I realised that as I was reading some of the responses

CattOfTheGarage

Can you get help through an eating disorder charity like beat?

Also, does anyone know if disordered eating responds to cognitive behavioural therapy? That may be easier to get a referral for. Also can see no reason GP will not refer you to a dietitian, you do not need to meet ed criteria for that, I would press hard for that referral and if he will not give you it then change GPs. Sometimes it works better if, instead of asking the GP what you should do, you say "please refer me for this". It makes their job easier and unless you are asking for a completely inappropriate service they are quite likely to do it.

OP, I do not agree you should be shooting for the middle of the healthy BMI range. There is no reason to believe you will be healthier or happier there than at the top of the range. If your BMI is in the healthy range then you are already at a healthy weight, and you should leave it alone and concentrate on the ed symptoms. Your feeling that you will be happier with your body if you are 7lb lighter does not sound realistic.

Hope you get some help and support. Well done for how far you have already come

Iccleamelia

jennifer_417 wrote: »

Because, unfortunately, our health care system is so overburdened, that only the most desperate cases get the help they really need, and sometimes not even they do.

Honestly, I find some of your responses in this thread to be a bit concerning, and it worries me that you don't have more support. I read where you talked to your Dr, and he offered you antidepressants. They are at least somewhat trained to recognize the symptoms, maybe it would be helpful for you to take his advice? EDs do tend to have their roots in depression, and it may actually help you to feel better.

I'm not one to think that pill solves every problem, but if it can help, then why not at least try it?

I know and i am aware that there are people out there that are in more desperate need than i am for treatment - and is sometimes why i seem to feel the need to punish myself with starvation for being this weight, for being so greedy

I have been on and off the meds for the first year i was weight restoring, but after that my depression has decreased - what is still there is the anxiety and that haunts me and makes me feel like I'm constantly in a really stressful job or something perhaps that is hindering the weight loss...

plus meds are known to make some people gain weight - I don't want to take that risk either

Iccleamelia

CattOfTheGarage wrote: »

Can you get help through an eating disorder charity like beat?

Also, does anyone know if disordered eating responds to cognitive behavioural therapy? That may be easier to get a referral for. Also can see no reason GP will not refer you to a dietitian, you do not need to meet ed criteria for that, I would press hard for that referral and if he will not give you it then change GPs. Sometimes it works better if, instead of asking the GP what you should do, you say "please refer me for this". It makes their job easier and unless you are asking for a completely inappropriate service they are quite likely to do it.

OP, I do not agree you should be shooting for the middle of the healthy BMI range. There is no reason to believe you will be healthier or happier there than at the top of the range. If your BMI is in the healthy range then you are already at a healthy weight, and you should leave it alone and concentrate on the ed symptoms. Your feeling that you will be happier with your body if you are 7lb lighter does not sound realistic.

Hope you get some help and support. Well done for how far you have already come

I've tried their website and occasionally called their helpline when I've been REALLY anxious, but they can't really offer me any proper treatment.

And i have been referred by GP to a dietician before, but got rejected - again.

I genuinely do feel I'll be happier at BMI 20, honestly! and thank you

SCoil123

As a recovering bulimic I found I need healthy ranges as my goal. Fixating on a certain number sets me up to get sick again. Please consider this when setting your goals.