Child, anxiety, school - help please x

fit_elliex

Hi all!

I really need advice about my 8 year old son Ben, please.
His story quickly:
He was 2 weeks old and developed whooping cough. We nearly lost him because of that. He spent 3 weeks in High Dependency Unit in hospital.
When he was 10 months old he developed febrile seizures. The amount of times we've spent in and out of hospital is unbelievable! He would have epileptic fit every time he had a high fever. Each time it lasted for 30 - 60 minutes, every time the ambulance and stay in hospital was involved. It was going on for 4 years. Ben was on epileptic medication until 2 years ago. He is seizures and medication free now for a couple of years.

He never liked school. Each year I was hoping that it will get better as he is growing older. Teachers say that his concentration levels are low, he is a little behind with understanding school work and he has Special Educational Needs teacher. To top it all he is slightly deaf in left ear so in a months time he will have gromets put in - another stay in hospital for poor boy Sad
Last year he was crying for 6 months every day when I took him to school. By crying I mean a proper scream, holding onto my trousers and being really upset. I thought maybe he doesn't have any friends in school or no one wants to play with him. I kept eye on his after school activities. He always play with his school friends so its not that. He doesn't want to go to visit his friends and stay on his own. He is happy if I stay with him, but to know that he has to stay on his own it's huge upset and tears in his eyes Sad He loves having friends around. He does break dancing every week. I'm working in the evenings as a chef's assistant and he is not happy when I go to work. On the other hand he behaves as he doesn't know me when he goes and plays with children at a school pick up times.


I'm trying to get him mixed up with activities outside school and home and he is sort of ok with that as long as I am with him. My husband and I have 2 older boys (12 and 10 yo) so he's got 2 older brothers to play with too.

Please advise: what can I do to help him? I'm really stressed out and really don't know what to do to make life easier and less stressful. I can't sleep at night with worry Sad
Is it some sort of anxiety disorder?
Should I go and see a doctor?
He is 8 years old now and I thought by now he will love school and some independence.

Thank you so much for reading and any advice is highly appreciated X

queenliz99

I would take this up with his pediatrician. Hugs

vespiquenn

queenliz99 wrote: »

I would take this up with his pediatrician. Hugs

This. It does sound like separation anxiety, but strangers on the internet can't do anything but speculate. Best to talk to a professional over it.

Zinka61

My son had separation anxiety, and what helped sort of wean him away from me for school was if I promised to stay nearby, like walking his sister in her stroller in the neighborhood around his school (luckily he had morning only kindergarten!) while he was in there. Eventually I'd say I would run home for a little bit and then be near the school later, gradually, gradually he got more comfortable. For play dates, I'd stay the first time or two--You can explain the situation to the other child's mom ahead of time and make sure it's OK. Once he feels secure, you can start leaving, if only for short periods of time. Don't worry too much--It can seem overwhelming to have an anxious child, but my son is 24 now, not completely anxiety free, but working and doing fine and not even living at home with us--They do grow up. Hugs, cause being a mom is hard!

SweetPeasMom55

This sounds so much like my nephew who at the age of 9 the anxiety got so bad a teacher suggested therapy. He had to go to a Dr to get referred on but it took a year of going and he is not the same kid he has found his way without medication. Don't hesitate to get help it's just that help.

fit_elliex

Thank you so much everyone! It helps that we are not alone

I'll definitely take him to see a doctor and see what he suggests.

I'm happy that there are success stories