How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
courtneyallisonatx
Posts: 133 Member
I am having such a hard time with this. My boyfriend is wonderful and wants me to do what makes me happy, but he is very happy with his eating habits. He doesn't want to eat the things I NEED to eat to make myself better. I am having a hard time figuring out a way to approach the situation with him and how to work around his food wants. Do I just cook separate meals each night, or make my own and tell him he is own his own for meals. Has anyone else had this problem? Would love to know how you handled it.
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You can eat what he eats, just eat less. That is what i do at home.9
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I just portion out my dinner differently. I take a lot less pasta and a lot more veggies.9
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He eats what I cook or he takes me out or he cooks his own meal. It's that simple.21
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I cook the meals so my husband eats whatever I make. He eats out for lunch while at work. However, that being said, if there was a time he didn't want to eat what I'm making, yes, he's on his own. Otherwise, we compromise. I still eat everything I did before. We still will order out Chinese or Pizza. I just eat less of it and I work it into my calorie goal.
Don't feel like you absolutely have to cut things out unless it's a trigger for you or there's a medical reason. You can still eat fast food, bread, go to a restaurant, order out, have some pie... whatever. It's all about portion control and fitting it into your day's calories. You just have to work at finding the right balance.7 -
I guess that would depend on what he wants to eat ... but I agree with the person above eat the same but less and ad some veg or whatever else for you.
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^^ this or you can sit down and make a plan-with him- that works for both of you. My house is a bit like yours. I will do things like have the stir fry they are eating, but omit the rice or make zucchini noodles for my spaghetti and meatballs while they have regular pasta etc.....I hate to make separate meals, and I don't feel like that is a good example for my kids. I don't want them thinking they can request anything they want!2
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How exactly do you eat? Part of the problem is often people think that because they're on a diet everything has to be bland and boring...I make all kinds of deliciousness using primarily whole food/minimally processed food ingredients...like tomorrow night I'm grilling some sirloin steaks that are marinating in some carne asada sauce I whipped up...I'll do baked potatoes and likely roast some asparagus...what's not to love? My wife and I will both eat a healthy meal in portions that are appropriate for us.
Most of our dinners are some kind of grilled meat, poultry, or fish with some kind of starch or grain and a veggie side...usually sauteed or roasted.11 -
I agree with the posters above. I also try to be sure I communicate my needs to my hubby and he is really receptive. If he wants to go out to eat we'll go, but I explain that I don't have enough calories to enjoy and appetizer and a meal so I will focus on my healthy meal. He can be free to order whatever he wants.
We also just don't keep certain foods in the house that really set me off on a bender.0 -
I would either make my own food, or adapt the main meal he is having to fit how I wanted to eat.
In my family (there are 5 of us, one is veggie, two are incredibly fussy in different ways, one is allergic to a few things, and then there is greedy old me) it was commonplace to never all eat exactly the same meal, but with some planning ahead we could eat roughly similar meals and still share the social aspect.3 -
My husband cooks what he wants to eat and I cook what I want to eat. If either of us wants what the other is cooking, we're welcome to it -- we just tend to prefer different things.
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What are your boyfriend's specific eating habits?
My OH and I eat mostly the same things but I have more veggies and he has more starch. I'll pass on the bread and the wine most times. He'll have a side salad; I'll have an entree-sized salad. I have more protein and less rice than he does.
When we get an 8 piece pizza, he has 5 slices and I have 3 (and a big salad). He's a foot taller than me and needs more calories.2 -
It really depends on the two of you and your preferences and who does the cooking. If you do the cooking then make meals that fit your goal but make sure there's enough of it to satisfy him, too. Even if he were trying to lose weight with you his calorie goals would be greater. You could also make an extra side dish that is more calorie dense that only he eats or you just take very little of.
You could make meals he likes and you just have a little bit of it plus a salad and veggies on the side.
You could certainly make two separate meals but who wants to do that?
I assume that lunch and breakfast you each do for yourself? You could eat lighter meals for those to leave room for the bigger dinner with him.
There really are a lot of options and no 'right' way to handle it or even a need to handle it the same way every day.1 -
So if he eats a donut do you gain weight?5
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Mouse_Potato wrote: »He eats what I cook or he takes me out or he cooks his own meal. It's that simple.
This.
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This. You don't need special foods and you cannot expect your man to give up his favourites just for you.....queenliz99 wrote: »You can eat what he eats, just eat less. That is what i do at home.
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It all depends how strict I'm being. If I'm doing a spell of 5:2 then we'll eat different meals. If I'm trying to maintain then I'll portion the same meal out differently.
It can be a real struggle! We've been together for 6 years and I'd put on 20kg! I just had to realise that we can't eat in the same way as each other because we're just built differently.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »How exactly do you eat? Part of the problem is often people think that because they're on a diet everything has to be bland and boring...I make all kinds of deliciousness using primarily whole food/minimally processed food ingredients...like tomorrow night I'm grilling some sirloin steaks that are marinating in some carne asada sauce I whipped up...I'll do baked potatoes and likely roast some asparagus...what's not to love? My wife and I will both eat a healthy meal in portions that are appropriate for us.
Most of our dinners are some kind of grilled meat, poultry, or fish with some kind of starch or grain and a veggie side...usually sauteed or roasted.
My boyfriend is very much addicted to fast food. He also loves carbs, all the time every meal.0 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »How exactly do you eat? Part of the problem is often people think that because they're on a diet everything has to be bland and boring...I make all kinds of deliciousness using primarily whole food/minimally processed food ingredients...like tomorrow night I'm grilling some sirloin steaks that are marinating in some carne asada sauce I whipped up...I'll do baked potatoes and likely roast some asparagus...what's not to love? My wife and I will both eat a healthy meal in portions that are appropriate for us.
Most of our dinners are some kind of grilled meat, poultry, or fish with some kind of starch or grain and a veggie side...usually sauteed or roasted.
My boyfriend is very much addicted to fast food. He also loves carbs, all the time every meal.
If he's eating fast food, then you don't need to cook separate meals. He can purchase his dinner and you can cook for yourself (or find something on the menu that meets your goals).9 -
I usually make mostly the same meal for the two of us, but tweak it a little if I find it necessary, to more comfortably reach my daily goals. For example, I may fry his pork chops, but broil mine. Or, he may have a beef burger on a regular bun, I may have a bunless turkey burger. Other times, I may not really care for what he's having, so I have something totally different. Rarely do I cook two completely seperate meals for us, but one of us may eat leftovers while the other has, say, scrambled eggs or something else easy. Sometimes we both eat the same meal. He has snacks to take for lunch that I generally do not eat; not that I don't like them, but a Swiss Roll doesn't fit into my calorie allowance as nicely as an apple does. Our kitchen has food he prefers, and food that I prefer, so I don't really find myself "tempted."2
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By taking personal responsibility for what I eat.How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
If that means I cook then I cook. If it means we have different portions or different sides it's not a big issue. Or I might have an extra snack - loads of options to cater for different needs.
Do wonder why you have to radically change your diet but your BF doesn't?
Is your diet (noun) so bad you have to change or are you switching to diet (verb) foods?
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Thank you everyone for your feedback. I just thought I would get a little help, as this has been an issue as of late. He thinks it's stupid to cook two meals or gets frustrated when I tell him I can't have something because it doesn't fit in my calories. I know he he just isn't used to this type of eating and it's just different and a new routine. I just wanted to know if anyone else had ever had any pushback in this area.
Thank You for the advice.0 -
I do the cooking and my GF eats what I make. I just give her less.
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By taking personal responsibility for what I eat.How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
If that means I cook then I cook. If it means we have different portions or different sides it's not a big issue. Or I might have an extra snack - loads of options to cater for different needs.
Do wonder why you have to radically change your diet but your BF doesn't?
Is your diet (noun) so bad you have to change or are you switching to diet (verb) foods?
It's changing because I need to lose weight but he doesn't think he does. He could stand to lose weight, but its not my place to make that decision for him. We used to go out and eat almost every meal, mainly Italian places and pizza. I am trying to have that only once in a while but he is still wanting to eat it all the time.2 -
Pizza - one slice for you with a side salad.
Burgers - yes. You may skip the mayonnaise and the bacon, and ask for extra veggies. He gets the fries.
Chinese - you get the WarWonTon.
Taco Bell - you got me stumped there. Do they have "salads"? Get the dressings on the side so you can control the amount.
Chicken - peel off the delicious coating. Eat with a side salad.
Subway - skip the sauces, be generous with the veggies.7 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »How exactly do you eat? Part of the problem is often people think that because they're on a diet everything has to be bland and boring...I make all kinds of deliciousness using primarily whole food/minimally processed food ingredients...like tomorrow night I'm grilling some sirloin steaks that are marinating in some carne asada sauce I whipped up...I'll do baked potatoes and likely roast some asparagus...what's not to love? My wife and I will both eat a healthy meal in portions that are appropriate for us.
Most of our dinners are some kind of grilled meat, poultry, or fish with some kind of starch or grain and a veggie side...usually sauteed or roasted.
My boyfriend is very much addicted to fast food. He also loves carbs, all the time every meal.
Well if it's a fast food issue, then problem solved...you don't have to cook two meals, he can buy his and you can make what you like.
As carbs go, I have carbs with every meal...there's nothing inherently wrong with that...don't buy into the "carbs are the devil" stuff...most of human civilization has subsided on diets consisting largely of carbohydrates for most of our existence.
I would also add that often my wife will skip the carbs with dinner and have double veg while I have my quinoa or baked potato or whatever. I'm the primary cook in my house so everyone eats what I make or they go hungry or otherwise figure it out on their own.3 -
My husband was never overweight. I didn't expect him to change his eating habits just because I was changing mine. I mostly eat what he eats just smaller portion. I buy different snacks for him and for me. He's not big on yogurt or sweets and I'm not big on salty snacks. That really hasn't changed much. We eat out a lot, and we eat fast food pretty regularly. You just have to make good choices and limit your portion sizes.0
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Pizza - one slice for you with a side salad.
Burgers - yes. You may skip the mayonnaise and the bacon, and ask for extra veggies. He gets the fries.
Chinese - you get the WarWonTon.
Taco Bell - you got me stumped there. Do they have "salads"? Get the dressings on the side so you can control the amount.
Chicken - peel off the delicious coating. Eat with a side salad.
Subway - skip the sauces, be generous with the veggies.
OP, Taco Bell has many options for making items lighter in calories by doing them "fresco style." That will replace the cheese and sour cream with pico -- depending on the item, this can make a decent difference. Their website has many options to help you customize your meals and meet your calorie goals.4 -
Adapt / Portion Size / Separate Foods.
Today my partner and I both had home made curry, I had mine with Cauliflower Rice, she had hers with White Rice.
I saved 200+ Calories from just that one swap, but we still got to eat together2 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »
By taking personal responsibility for what I eat.How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
If that means I cook then I cook. If it means we have different portions or different sides it's not a big issue. Or I might have an extra snack - loads of options to cater for different needs.
Do wonder why you have to radically change your diet but your BF doesn't?
Is your diet (noun) so bad you have to change or are you switching to diet (verb) foods?
It's changing because I need to lose weight but he doesn't think he does. He could stand to lose weight, but its not my place to make that decision for him. We used to go out and eat almost every meal, mainly Italian places and pizza. I am trying to have that only once in a while but he is still wanting to eat it all the time.
I don't find pizza or pasta particularly satiating, so only have pizza once a month or so and when I make pasta I have lots of protein and veggies. My OH and I don't live together yet and only eat together 4 days a week so if he wants pizza more often he has it on our off days.
I find it much easier to stay in a calorie deficit when I'm eating at home - can you sell him on this from a saving money standpoint? You still cook Italian but it will be easier for you to consume less calories.
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Pizza - one slice for you with a side salad.
Burgers - yes. You may skip the mayonnaise and the bacon, and ask for extra veggies. He gets the fries.
Chinese - you get the WarWonTon.
Taco Bell - you got me stumped there. Do they have "salads"? Get the dressings on the side so you can control the amount.
Chicken - peel off the delicious coating. Eat with a side salad.
Subway - skip the sauces, be generous with the veggies.
Actually Taco Bell is super easy to cut calories with-- same like Chipotle and such.1
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