Why Can't I Change?

SueInAz

Just back from a long weekend and this is the first post I read after logging on today. A gigantic hug for you. I hope things are going better. Let us know how it's going.

wosickmom

I feel like you have been in my head and reading my thoughts. I too have tried, succeeded some and failed lots. I'm in a downward spiral right now of binge eating and then being mad about binging. This thread is striking a positive cord with me today. Thank you!

txfyreflye

BreakingFree16 wrote: »

Today is day 5 of my 1,000,000th attempt at weight loss. My goal has been to simply do better each day than the day before. It's been working pretty well for me. There's enough pressure to improve but not so much that I fail. Anyhow, I've been doing pretty good. Until today.

After lunch I decided to have a cookie. After my cookie I felt very full, and there were two cookies left. So I decided to eat them. Only. I put peanut butter on them and made a giant cookie sandwich.

By this time I felt very uncomfortable. Then, I remembered I had a king size kit kat to eat. So, I ate that too. After that my stomach was in agony and I just wanted to puke. To calm my stomach down I ate a freezer pop.

At this point I felt so sick. Thankfully I was able to nap some of it off. Now I'm sitting here feeling like a first class idiot and sweating like a banshee. I hated every bite after the first cookie, and I kept going. I wanted to stop but I couldn't.

Now I'm stuck dealing with the aftermath, and it's my own just punishment for my actions. This definitely wasn't my first time doing this, and sadly this was far from my worst offense. I once binged so bad that I ended up throwing up for 12 hours straight (my body's choice, not mine).

I want to stop, I NEED to stop. I have too much at risk, yet it doesn't seem to motivate me to change. What's wrong with me?!?!? I need this to stop. I need to be better. I want to be better. Why isn't that enough?

Being open and honest helps.

Was hiding part of your pattern? If so, you may need to talk with your doctor. It could be hormonal or related to something you're lacking in your body.

I will say for myself that I have an addiction to food. Pure and simple. So sheer willpower isn't enough. But before you say that's the problem, you may want to talk with your doc.

Please try to forgive yourself and get back on. You may have 1 million fresh starts, but at least you're starting!

NancyCaz61

Would love to know how you're doing now that a few days have passed Be sure to stay connected here, lots of support and encouragement.

kbmnurse

Move on.

BreakingFree16

Update:

I fell back off the wagon as quickly as I got on again. My life has been upside down and ive foolishly dealt with it by eating. I keep waiting for the switch to flip, but it never does. Perhaps that's because I never flipped it. I'm still struggling and feeling more hopeless every day.

BasicGreatGuy

BreakingFree16 wrote: »

Update:

I fell back off the wagon as quickly as I got on again. My life has been upside down and ive foolishly dealt with it by eating. I keep waiting for the switch to flip, but it never does. Perhaps that's because I never flipped it. I'm still struggling and feeling more hopeless every day.

If budget allows, consult with a therapist, who can help you get to the root of why you overeat. He or she can also provide you with skills in properly handling day to day stress, instead of internalizing like you have been. Until you address the root cause, you will stay on the merry-go-round.

jondspen

Sounds like eating is more than just eating for you. The fact that you continue to eat, even when you feel sick and nauseous, is troubling ("After that my stomach was in agony and I just wanted to puke. To calm my stomach down I ate a freezer pop.") I mean, did you really think a freezer pop that is sugar water frozen would help calm ure stomach after 3 cookies, slathered in PB, followed up with a king sized Kit Kat?

In ure later posts, it sounds like you are facing up to what you know is a problem with yourself. Why u do this, only u and ure counselor can figure that out...but I would suggest you meet with a nutritionist and a mental health specialists/counselor. Our brain runs on chemicals, and that is all food is really...so you need to understand why ure brain is telling your body to overload it and make ureself sick.

STEVE142142

Welcome to something we've all gone through. To me weight loss is the simplest thing in the world yet the hardest thing in the world. To physically lose the weight is very simple matter of cico. The tough part is the mental aspect. without that it can't work

What you have to do is find your own personal why. That why has to be totally selfish and self-centered. It can't be about your significant other it can't be about the kids. It totally has to be about you. Once you find that why all your other whys will take care of themselves

For me something just snapped in my brain last December 30th 2015. I hate to say it not to discourage you but I'm sure other people who've been successful will vouch for what I'm saying but it was the simplest process I've ever gone through. Once my mindset changed it became so simple it was scary. Yes I did have my up days and I had my down days but I never let either one change my mentality.

My other suggestion is you can't look at this as a diet. Diets suck. You're constantly miserable you're giving up stuff that you enjoy and you're eventually going to get tired of it and you're going to fail. I haven't given up anything that I like. As long as it fits within my calorie goals I eat it. I still enjoy Wendy's hamburgers Pizza and beers on the beach. If I had to give those up I would have never succeeded. Went on a mini vacation in March probably 2 or 3 of those days I drank my calorie limit alone. Had a damn good time I wouldn't trade it for anything when I came back got right back on track and I succeeded.


I'll be blunt with one last statement if you follow the general guidelines of mfp it will work. It's that simple. What you need to do is find your why. Most importantly realize you're worth it and you deserve it. God bless

SueInAz

STEVE142142 wrote: »

Welcome to something we've all gone through. To me weight loss is the simplest thing in the world yet the hardest thing in the world. To physically lose the weight is very simple matter of cico. The tough part is the mental aspect. without that it can't work

What you have to do is find your own personal why. That why has to be totally selfish and self-centered. It can't be about your significant other it can't be about the kids. It totally has to be about you. Once you find that why all your other whys will take care of themselves

For me something just snapped in my brain last December 30th 2015. I hate to say it not to discourage you but I'm sure other people who've been successful will vouch for what I'm saying but it was the simplest process I've ever gone through. Once my mindset changed it became so simple it was scary. Yes I did have my up days and I had my down days but I never let either one change my mentality.

My other suggestion is you can't look at this as a diet. Diets suck. You're constantly miserable you're giving up stuff that you enjoy and you're eventually going to get tired of it and you're going to fail. I haven't given up anything that I like. As long as it fits within my calorie goals I eat it. I still enjoy Wendy's hamburgers Pizza and beers on the beach. If I had to give those up I would have never succeeded. Went on a mini vacation in March probably 2 or 3 of those days I drank my calorie limit alone. Had a damn good time I wouldn't trade it for anything when I came back got right back on track and I succeeded.


I'll be blunt with one last statement if you follow the general guidelines of mfp it will work. It's that simple. What you need to do is find your why. Most importantly realize you're worth it and you deserve it. God bless

So much this. Especially the bolded part. That switch flipping is probably the most important piece of the weight loss puzzle. If you don't really want it, want it more than almost anything else, it's going to be very difficult if not impossible.

I've talked to more than one person who had lots of excuses and I honestly advised them to give up on the weight loss for awhile without any guilt. Perhaps later they'd be ready. You have to realize that it's a choice you're making to not lose weight and simply move on with your life, no guilt involved. It's a horrible existence when you're constantly beating yourself up over something like your weight. It's not worth the stress and emotional roller coaster to continue to think you want to lose weight, eat things you believe you shouldn't, feel terrible about it... over and over, day in and day out.

I also happen to think that not changing your eating habits is an important piece, too. While losing weight, it really helps if you're eating the things you're going to continue to eat once you've reached your goal, just less of it. You could probably start off at the beginning doing silly things and eating a specific way you don't intend to continue but at some point before the end you have to learn how to eat in a way that will maintain your goal weight. If you don't do that, and go back to eating the way you were before, you will eventually regain at least some of the weight lost if not all of it and more.