Choosing a goal weight - Am I being unrealistic or selling myself short?

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As of this morning, I’m 5lbs away from a healthy BMI of 155. I think the last time I was around this weight was about 10 years ago when I was in university. At that time, I was actually 10-15 lbs below the top end of my BMI, weighing around 140-145. I still wasn’t completely happy with how I looked, but I was also in university and I would venture to say that most university girls aren’t happy with their bodies.

Knowing that, when I started this in January, I weighed 215 and the goal was to get to 135 as I knew I wasn’t 100% happy at 140-145. That would give me a BMI of 21.8.

As I get closer to goal though, I’m starting to wonder whether that’s really the best for me. My body has changed so much in the last 10 years that even though I’m 15-20 lbs heavier, I am now wearing the same pants as I did in university. I can only imagine how small I might be if I lost another 25 lbs as I was planning.

Before I lost weight in university, everyone told me I would look sick at 140 lbs. When I got to 140 lbs, every one told me I looked fab! So, I know that part of this is just the unknown.

I’m in a good groove right now and I know that I can get to 135 lbs if I really set my mind to it. I guess I’m just having a hard time believing that I’ll wake up one morning and say “Yep, I’m done. I want to stay at this weight, so let’s move to maintenance.”

So, for those either really close to goal or already at goal, how did you choose a goal weight?
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Replies

  • mjffey
    mjffey Posts: 72 Member
    edited August 2016
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    I'm 2kg from goal weight ( 57 year old female, 1.65 m, goal weight 65.8kg) and am since january between 66.8 and 67.8 no matter what i eat. Deficit or not. I think that maybe this is my bodies way of telling me this is ok. And i feel great. It took me two years to lose 12kg, being somebody who can survive easily on eating below 1100 cals for years ( vegan, so 1100 goes a long way). Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you like what you see and if you feel good. If the answer is yes, than there you go. Don't worry about what the scales, bmi or other people tell you. It's all about you. Good luck.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    I did not reach goal weight. I stopped. And then I said wait a minute.. no need to loose more, what you want is body composition changes. So that what I have been doing for almost 2 years now.

    The goals required to do this, change several times year.. So it will be a lifetime before I say hey, I'm done. I will be a work in progress for quite a while. I am ok with that and enjoy the process, enjoy working out even doing the deficit thing a little bit here and there.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    edited August 2016
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    smiles4jo wrote: »
    As of this morning, I’m 5lbs away from a healthy BMI of 155. I think the last time I was around this weight was about 10 years ago when I was in university. At that time, I was actually 10-15 lbs below the top end of my BMI, weighing around 140-145. I still wasn’t completely happy with how I looked, but I was also in university and I would venture to say that most university girls aren’t happy with their bodies.

    Knowing that, when I started this in January, I weighed 215 and the goal was to get to 135 as I knew I wasn’t 100% happy at 140-145. That would give me a BMI of 21.8.

    As I get closer to goal though, I’m starting to wonder whether that’s really the best for me. My body has changed so much in the last 10 years that even though I’m 15-20 lbs heavier, I am now wearing the same pants as I did in university. I can only imagine how small I might be if I lost another 25 lbs as I was planning.

    Before I lost weight in university, everyone told me I would look sick at 140 lbs. When I got to 140 lbs, every one told me I looked fab! So, I know that part of this is just the unknown.

    I’m in a good groove right now and I know that I can get to 135 lbs if I really set my mind to it. I guess I’m just having a hard time believing that I’ll wake up one morning and say “Yep, I’m done. I want to stay at this weight, so let’s move to maintenance.”

    So, for those either really close to goal or already at goal, how did you choose a goal weight?

    I'm right in the same boat you are..currently at 157, and 152 is the top healthy weight for my height. When I started all of this at 241lbs, I laughingly decided I wanted to see if I could hit 150lbs. I never thought I'd get anywhere near that. Now that I'm within a few pounds of it, I've decided to try for 140, just to make my weight loss close to an even 100 lbs lost. I still have some around my middle I'd like to see disappear, so I pretty much have to keep losing for that to happen. I would agree, though, that the best approach is too assess the way you currently look. Are there spots you'd like to work on? Maybe a body recomp program like Stronglifts 5 x5 or Strong Curves is an option for you. If you're not quite satisfied, it's OK to continue losing. If you think you're happy with what you see, then cool. Even better. :) I mean, when you think about it, we're never really "done". You'll most likely have cycles of bulks and cuts at your target weight, especially if you want to add some muscle.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    So... before losing more weight, it may be helpful to go into maintenance for awhile. It is important to do maintenance for awhile to get use to how to eat that way and let your bodies metabolism normalize. Also, bonus, you get to eat alittle bit more (becareful about eating full maintenance calories)

    As someone who lost 100 lbs and then put it all back, keeping weight off is just as important, or more so, then losing the weight.

    You have done a good job and worked hard to lose the weight. Let your body even out and enjoy the new you.
  • biggsterjackster
    biggsterjackster Posts: 419 Member
    edited August 2016
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    Beeing 5'4" tall probably should stop setting a goal weight. When I was 175 lbs, goal weight was 155, when reached 155, goal weight was 145, when I reached 145, goal weight was 135, now I am 135 lbs and set a goal weight of 130 lbs. I know once I get there, I probably want to weigh 125. Never really happy with my current weight. Wonder when it stops.
  • srecupid
    srecupid Posts: 660 Member
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    Beeing 5'4" tall probably should stop setting a goal weight. When I was 175 lbs, goal weight was 155, when reached 155, goal weight was 145, when I reached 145, goal weight was 135, now I am 135 lbs and set a goal weight of 130 lbs. I know once I get there, I probably want to weigh 125. Never really happy with my current weight. Wonder when it stops.

    Geeze I'm glad I'm a 5"10 man it seems so hard for women especially the shorter ones. I couldn't imagine trying to maintain at 125. I'm having a hard enough time sticking to maintenance calories at 165
  • UK2ME
    UK2ME Posts: 15 Member
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    Beeing 5'4" tall probably should stop setting a goal weight. When I was 175 lbs, goal weight was 155, when reached 155, goal weight was 145, when I reached 145, goal weight was 135, now I am 135 lbs and set a goal weight of 130 lbs. I know once I get there, I probably want to weigh 125. Never really happy with my current weight. Wonder when it stops.

    I am 5'3", and I understand completely. I had an eating disorder in my teens, and I have to be so cognisant of that when I lose because it's always "another 5" or "half a stone more" and I'm never satisfied. I'm terrified of getting down below what's healthy for my body and still feeling fat.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    Sometimes it's not the scale number that is off, but how your body looks. Might want to check out a recomp. Plenty of people on here who have done/are doing a recomp.

    I'm 135.6# and I'm happy with it. My body looks like a busted can of biscuits, but I'm not fussed about it because it's either get back to weight loss (done with that after 4 years) or pay for surgery.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,952 Member
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    I have a large frame and my goal weight is in the 25-26 BMI range. This is the weight I was when I was a full time yoga teacher, and I felt great at that weight.

    http://www.myfooddiary.com/Resources/frame_size_calculator.asp

  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited August 2016
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    I realized some time back that a goal based weight was just too arbitrary. I am 5'3.5", large framed and tend towards a muscular build. When I first started MFP 5.5 years ago I wanted to be 120 pounds. A weight goal was the only thing I knew to strive for then. I've learned a lot since then and did originally hit that goal and maintained it for about a month. It was hard! I really couldn't eat very much beyond 1300 calories on a regular basis and I quickly got tired of it.

    Over the next 6 months I gained back about 10 pounds and then started lifting heavy and eating at maintenance. I now weigh about 135, I fit into most of the clothes I was wearing back when I hit 120 and I can eat a lot more and maintain this weight. I'm so much happier with how I look and feel. I've lost the jiggly underarms I still had at 120 and I'm tighter and more trim overall.
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
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    I'm 160 and have been staying here for a couple of weeks (not really tracking just hanging out). Healthy BMI for me starts at 154. I'm 5'6''.
    Still have lots of tummy fat.
    I look awesome at 145. or did 15 years ago! and that was post kids.

    so I'm just going to kick back in gear in Sept. and aim for 154. When I get there then I'll aim for 150 and then 145.
    I'll stop there. Gone are the pre-kid days of 122.
  • nickisa28
    nickisa28 Posts: 116 Member
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    This was a hard one for me too.
    * So before kids I was 104lbs but felt too skinny.
    *After baby no.1 I settled at 114lbs(ish) and was quite happy.
    *Then gained a little when I changed to a desk job and was 120lbs but i still felt OK.
    * Then after baby no.2 it all went down hill and I gained a lot!

    So i decided to be realistic and set my goal at the 120lbs. Now I'm here I'm still not happy so am carrying on till I'm down to my 114lbs. But then I'm thinking why not go to 110lbs and then I've got a bit of 'buffer' weight to play with. Drove me crazy so I'm just gonna carry on working at it until I'm happy regardless of what the scale says.
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 524 Member
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    cee134 wrote: »
    So... before losing more weight, it may be helpful to go into maintenance for awhile. It is important to do maintenance for awhile to get use to how to eat that way and let your bodies metabolism normalize. Also, bonus, you get to eat alittle bit more (becareful about eating full maintenance calories)

    As someone who lost 100 lbs and then put it all back, keeping weight off is just as important, or more so, then losing the weight.

    You have done a good job and worked hard to lose the weight. Let your body even out and enjoy the new you.

    @cee134: Can you expand more on this? Curious as to why eating full maintenance calories could pose a problem here. Thanks for your post! :)
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    edited August 2016
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    Fursian wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    So... before losing more weight, it may be helpful to go into maintenance for awhile. It is important to do maintenance for awhile to get use to how to eat that way and let your bodies metabolism normalize. Also, bonus, you get to eat alittle bit more (becareful about eating full maintenance calories)

    As someone who lost 100 lbs and then put it all back, keeping weight off is just as important, or more so, then losing the weight.

    You have done a good job and worked hard to lose the weight. Let your body even out and enjoy the new you.

    @cee134: Can you expand more on this? Curious as to why eating full maintenance calories could pose a problem here. Thanks for your post! :)

    Full maintenance my be too much since it's an estimate. The theory being since you have been in deficit so long, your metabolism may be low and it may be easier to gain weight. I always read, raise it by 100 cal a week until you get to maintenance. And it could change over time.
  • savithny
    savithny Posts: 1,200 Member
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    Google "Reduced obese." When you put in your height and weight to calculators, the calculations are assuming that you've been stable at that weight.

    A lot of research says that people who were obese and return to a lower weight will have a reduced BMR for a long time. Some research indicates you will *always* have a reduced BMR, but its not a standard reduction % and you kind of have to discover where that is through experimenting with raising your calories (or, I suppose, having your BMR measured in a lab).
  • idabest777
    idabest777 Posts: 97 Member
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    I started at 163 and originally set my goal to 140 because that's what I was throughout most of highschool and it seemed attainable. Once I got there I switched it to 135, then 130, then 128 (for an even 35lbs lost). When I hit 130 I upped my calories so I'm at 0.5lb lost/week and Now I'm thinking I might just stick with that until I'm somewhere between 120-125. Then it'll be time to start working on building up more muscle because my butt has essentially disappeared at this point.
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 524 Member
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    cee134 wrote: »
    Fursian wrote: »
    cee134 wrote: »
    So... before losing more weight, it may be helpful to go into maintenance for awhile. It is important to do maintenance for awhile to get use to how to eat that way and let your bodies metabolism normalize. Also, bonus, you get to eat alittle bit more (becareful about eating full maintenance calories)

    As someone who lost 100 lbs and then put it all back, keeping weight off is just as important, or more so, then losing the weight.

    You have done a good job and worked hard to lose the weight. Let your body even out and enjoy the new you.

    @cee134: Can you expand more on this? Curious as to why eating full maintenance calories could pose a problem here. Thanks for your post! :)

    Full maintenance my be too much since it's an estimate. The theory being since you have been in deficit so long, your metabolism may be low and it may be easier to gain weight. I always read, raise it by 100 cal a week until you get to maintenance. And it could change over time.

    @cee134: This makes sense, I get it now. I've also heard to raise it by 100 cal per week until you hit maintenance. I plan to use this method myself. Thanks for getting back, appreciate the response! :)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    I chose the middle of the normal BMI.. which is about what I was at my thinnest when I was 20... for maybe 2 months before I gained the weight back.

    I've been maintaining 5-6 pounds over that for 2 years now though because I'm just too hungry and if I restrict more than I do, I end up binging... so I'm kinda stuck and really don't have the motivation to try harder (I have thin arms and legs already for a large torso and if I lose extra weight there I'll just look even more ridiculous anyway - my hips/stomach are of course the last places I lose from). Heck I'm still hungry a lot maintaining this weight as it is.

    So yeah... go down and reassess.