Grr struggling with weekend binges?

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

aliem wrote: »

Can people stop being so judgemental? He is asking for help. As someone that struggled with eating disorders in the past, doing a one-two day binge on the weekend. You can have all of the best advise in the world, but it is still very hard to control. For me, I notice that my weekend bingeing does not matter how much I am eating during the week. It is solely reliant on what mindset I am in and if there are people to keep me accountable for my progress. For example, if I am out with friends, I make sure they know my goals so if there is some peer pressure, I can point back to m goals. I also try to make sure one person that I am close to (an has my best interested at heart) knows everything I am eating and when. Especially on the weekends! You need to not be embarrassed about sharing your binges. It happens and you can concur it! You have made it this far!

I don't see anyone being judgmental.

dave_in_ni

aliem wrote: »

Can people stop being so judgemental? He is asking for help. As someone that struggled with eating disorders in the past, doing a one-two day binge on the weekend. You can have all of the best advise in the world, but it is still very hard to control. For me, I notice that my weekend bingeing does not matter how much I am eating during the week. It is solely reliant on what mindset I am in and if there are people to keep me accountable for my progress. For example, if I am out with friends, I make sure they know my goals so if there is some peer pressure, I can point back to m goals. I also try to make sure one person that I am close to (an has my best interested at heart) knows everything I am eating and when. Especially on the weekends! You need to not be embarrassed about sharing your binges. It happens and you can concur it! You have made it this far!

Very true, what someone said earlier made a lot of sense, If I didn't have these binges there is a good chance I would have given up completely by this stage.

dave_in_ni

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »

You said earlier that with your weekend binges you're eating a weekly average of 1800 calories.

How do you know that if you aren't tracking?

You should start tracking the weekend eating as best you can. Every beer, every slice of pizza, every bag of M&Ms. If you're out at a restaurant or pub, estimate as best you can. Just get an idea of how much you're eating. You may be surprised that it isn't as bad as you think it is.

It may also be helpful for you to continue eating a little bit less during the week to save calories for splurging on the weekends. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, if it works for you, as long as you're eating on average a deficit over time. I would still advise you to track your weekend eating, though, since it's nice to know how many calories you're consuming, and it gives you a bit more control.

I am guestimating. I don't go totally overboard at weekends. I have 1 cheat meal, usually Saturday nights, which is generally a Chinese take away / Pizza and a dessert, but I always have a few beers as well. So that leaves my breakfast and lunch clean as per during the week.

Sundays similar sort of thing, clean breakfast, lunch and dinner but Sunday afternoon is snack time, This past Sunday I have M&Ms and so crisps/potato chips but apart from that.

So I don't go totally overboard but its enough to rise my daily calorie average quite a bit.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

dave_in_ni wrote: »

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »

You said earlier that with your weekend binges you're eating a weekly average of 1800 calories.

How do you know that if you aren't tracking?

You should start tracking the weekend eating as best you can. Every beer, every slice of pizza, every bag of M&Ms. If you're out at a restaurant or pub, estimate as best you can. Just get an idea of how much you're eating. You may be surprised that it isn't as bad as you think it is.

It may also be helpful for you to continue eating a little bit less during the week to save calories for splurging on the weekends. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, if it works for you, as long as you're eating on average a deficit over time. I would still advise you to track your weekend eating, though, since it's nice to know how many calories you're consuming, and it gives you a bit more control.

I am guestimating. I don't go totally overboard at weekends. I have 1 cheat meal, usually Saturday nights, which is generally a Chinese take away / Pizza and a dessert, but I always have a few beers as well. So that leaves my breakfast and lunch clean as per during the week.

Sundays similar sort of thing, clean breakfast, lunch and dinner but Sunday afternoon is snack time, This past Sunday I have M&Ms and so crisps/potato chips but apart from that.

So I don't go totally overboard but its enough to rise my daily calorie average quite a bit.

So what's the problem?

If you've been losing weight and this works for you - great. There is nothing wrong with some M&Ms and a few beers as part of an overall balanced diet. This is similar to how I do it.

Don't try to fix what ain't broken.

Though I'd still want to track what I eat on the weekends.

VintageFeline

aliem wrote: »

Can people stop being so judgemental? He is asking for help. As someone that struggled with eating disorders in the past, doing a one-two day binge on the weekend. You can have all of the best advise in the world, but it is still very hard to control. For me, I notice that my weekend bingeing does not matter how much I am eating during the week. It is solely reliant on what mindset I am in and if there are people to keep me accountable for my progress. For example, if I am out with friends, I make sure they know my goals so if there is some peer pressure, I can point back to m goals. I also try to make sure one person that I am close to (an has my best interested at heart) knows everything I am eating and when. Especially on the weekends! You need to not be embarrassed about sharing your binges. It happens and you can concur it! You have made it this far!

Nobody has judged his weekend "binges" but himself. I don't see them as binges if he's averaging out below goal anyway. However, he himself seems to be struggling with them and would like to do it less. When someone cuts too hard, even just during the week, it can cause you to go overboard when you loosen the reins a little at the weekend to make up for it.

What I was being hard on was him cutting too hard and the numerous numerous threads he starts and ignores. He then comes back and b*tches about results he getting or not getting because he didn't follow the consistently solid advice he's given.

Regardless, here I am, once again giving advice to try and control the out of control feelings at the weekends he has and doesn't like.

And we have now also established that he is once again cutting too hard. To break the cycle you have to change something.

PS. I am a binge eater, or at least was. i still have the odd relapse but it's pretty much always emotional and never because I am restricting so much I pop and go hog wild because I'm just plain old starving.

VintageFeline

dave_in_ni wrote: »

VintageFeline wrote: »

dave_in_ni wrote: »

VintageFeline wrote: »

I'm not sure of that calculator, it's saying your LBM is 63lbs?

Scoobys has you at 2500 per day TDEE (I guessed your age at 30 though). However, you have enough of your own data at this point to not need a calculator. How many times a week do you lift? Do you know how many steps you get just in day to day life on average?

Just as a reference point. I'm 5'5, female, 34, 170lbs, about 29% body fat (but that's just a guesstimate) and my current TDEE is in the 2200 range. I am sedentary outside of purposeful exercise.

I lift 5-6 times per week, Each session is roughly 30 mins and consists of 5-6 exercises, 5 reps x 3 sets. Looking at the Apple health app it tells me my average daily steps are 10,665

See my reply above. As suspected, the TDEE calculator you used isn't accurate. Use your own readily available data. You're classed as active here on MFP with 10'000 steps per day. Plus your lifting. You need to be eating more than 1800 per day really. you're going to end up exacerbating the skinny fat issues you're having if you carry on as low as you are.

OK but how do my weekend binges work in with that? I don't have a clue really how many calories I eat at the weekends but its enough for me to gain a little weight on a Monday morning.

Well, have you had these weekends throughout the losses and maintenance? If so, just up your weekday calories to 2000 per day, that still banks you 250 per day for your weekends. Then reassess in 4 weeks when you see what your losses are.

Though if you logged your weekends it would make it all a lot easier, even if it's just guesstimates. A lot of us here work with a weekly average and bank calories but you need to log to do it accurately when you are at the stage of small cuts.

gothchiq

My tip is do your sensible grocery shopping during the week. Don't buy any junk. On the weekend, stay out of the store altogether if going shopping makes you lose control. Make and freeze healthy meals ahead of time for the weekend. Eat what you made ahead, stay out of the store, keep the junk out of your house.

VintageFeline

gothchiq wrote: »

My tip is do your sensible grocery shopping during the week. Don't buy any junk. On the weekend, stay out of the store altogether if going shopping makes you lose control. Make and freeze healthy meals ahead of time for the weekend. Eat what you made ahead, stay out of the store, keep the junk out of your house.

He's not overeating the "junk" though. Just has a negative association with the food and feeling out of control. I strongly suspect this has more to do with over restricting than anything else.

gothchiq

If it's not related to "trigger" foods or events that can be avoided.... I would then be looking for professional assistance. Maybe a dietitian or maybe a therapist, depending. If a person feels compelled to do a super deep deficit for mental and emotional reasons rather than simple misinformation or miscalculation, then the reason underlying all of it may have to be unearthed and addressed. I have a binge eating husband who will rationalize anything and no amount of logic will dissuade him. He's in therapy but I have a feeling it's gonna take years.