Terrified of working out in front of others
Replies
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Work out by yourself at home.1
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WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »I am absolutely terrified of working out in front of other people, even family. I won't even go swimming because I hate how my body looks. How do you cope when you hate other people looking at your body while working out?
No one is paying much attention to you. Exercise alone if you prefer.
I do workout videos at home or walk. There are lots of workout videos on You Tube.2 -
Here's one of my favorite quotes that might help: "You wouldn't worry about what others think of you if you knew how seldom they do." Love yourself and forget about other folks.5
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I realized that nobody cares. If anything, they'll commend you for wanting to get healthier.
I think this is it. You may be self conscious... but the chances that anyone cares enough to notice you are pretty slim.
And if they do notice you, they might think "oh, nice t-shirt" or "huh, overweight person working out, good for her" or "hmmm, she's on the treadmill, maybe I'll change things up and do that when I'm finished here" or "I need new shoes, wonder where she got those ones from".
The odds that they are thinking "what is that fat person doing here" are so small that they aren't worth worrying about. And even if someone is mean enough to be thinking that, then it reflects very badly on them, but will actually have no impact on you at all.
But, I can understand that you find this hard... so what about making a list of strategies (lots of good ideas here) and just getting started with something simple. Go for a 10 minute walk around your neighbourhood. Or find some exercises you can do in the living room or backyard. Or check out the class schedule at the gym and go along to the most non-threatening-sounding one to see if you like it. You could also ask the staff when the gym is less busy so you don't feel so overwhelmed.
Good luck!
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You change your internal dialogue
Rather than allowing a negative voice to rule you you make the internal comments positive
I'm going for it, they are impressed by my effort, I look awesome like a woman on a mission, they are stunned by my perseverance and want to be me
(Honestly few will even notice you let alone give you a conscious thought it's only your damning internal voice that is at issue ...so kill it...it's called self confidence)2 -
Lots of good recommendations here, but I see no one mentioned the obvious paper bag over the head trick.
..I'm kidding of course.
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I joined Planet Fitness 2 months ago. I was absolutely terrified too. I had some image in my mind that I would be the only overweight (70lbs) old person (50 years) there and would stick out like a sore thumb. It took exactly one visit to get over that. First, there were other overweight old people there too...even grandmotherly types! Second, nobody seemed to glance at me at all, except the guy who gave me a friendly hello at the desk when I came in. And finally, once I have those earbuds in then I am unaware of everyone else. I realized, it's really no different then going to the supermarket--I got just as much attention at the gym as I do there--none. You should see me now-- I'm bopping my head around to my music while I'm on the elliptical and I don't care if it looks silly 'cause I'm having a good time!5
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JulieSHelms wrote: »I joined Planet Fitness 2 months ago. I was absolutely terrified too. I had some image in my mind that I would be the only overweight (70lbs) old person (50 years) there and would stick out like a sore thumb. It took exactly one visit to get over that. First, there were other overweight old people there too...even grandmotherly types! Second, nobody seemed to glance at me at all, except the guy who gave me a friendly hello at the desk when I came in. And finally, once I have those earbuds in then I am unaware of everyone else. I realized, it's really no different then going to the supermarket--I got just as much attention at the gym as I do there--none. You should see me now-- I'm bopping my head around to my music while I'm on the elliptical and I don't care if it looks silly 'cause I'm having a good time!
I was invisible when I started too
Now I'm not so much
It's great to reclaim your body and zest at our age
You go for it
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I started working out at home behind closed curtains. When I had lost weight I started doing more walking. When I started to jog I went on routes where I didn't think anyone would know me. It took a few months before I was brave enough to jog near home.
I actually found swimming one of the hardest things as costumes aren't very forgiving. I have a boyleg costume that's also quite high at the top, as I now get really cold I usually wear a thermal rash vest too.
When I did get back in the gym, and even now when I,'m having a bad anxiety day I put my music on the and glasses off so I can't see anyone else anyway! I wear 3 quarter length leggings and looser tops.
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There was a girl in my gym who was really big. Big enough that you could see her sometimes having trouble with the sides of the treadmill, when she walked and there's this natural movement of the hips, and the treadmills would sometimes catch her hip and upset her stride, and she'd have to stop and then get going again. She was there almost every second day. Every step, lifting more than I can benchpress, let alone run with. She was an inspiration. I'm not inspired by the super-fit girls who somehow look like they were just born to model lingerie, even though I know, theoretically, that they must have worked hard for it too.... I never saw that. THIS girl, though... you totally see her working for every calorie burned, and her determination dripping off her in hard-earned sweat, and now, when I think I can't be bothered, it's her that I think of. If she can do it, if she can carry more than me to do every exercise harder than me, and on top of that with the feeling that others are judging her, well then I've got enough shame in me to think maybe I can at least try. If you're big enough to draw looks in the gym, there's a good chance they're looking at you with respect and admiration.
I wouldn't know about the swimming pool.... I'm too ashamed of my fear of water and my terrible swimming stroke to show my face there 10 -
I listen to music on my iPod. It shuts everyone else out and lets me focus on what I am doing.
Also you need to remember that everyone else there is as conscious of how they look as you. Which is why they are there to look better. Just ignore them. Focus on you and your workout 0 -
How about I share what I did:
I started by walking for 10 minutes a day (just to get into the habit of doing exercise every day) then I upped the time to 20 minutes a day, then walking faster, then jogging after I lost about 21lb THEN I joined a gym; because I knew I was serious about changing my relationship with food and exercise. Once I went to the gym only then did I realise people are too focussed on their own exercise routine to be looking at anyone else in detail. If anything I admire people who are clearly starting out on there own getting healthy journey.
Tell you what, why don't you arrange to go to your local gym and get shown around by one of the trainers? These things are usually free and it gives you a feel for the place. If you don't like it try another, you may surprise yourself and realise they aren't the intimidating places they first seem.
Also Gyms are businesses so why would they make them intimidating and put potential customers off?2 -
Actually, one more thing I forgot about. Around 4 weeks ago I DID notice someone, it was a young guy, about early 20's working with a personal trainer, he clearly had problems with his legs and had crutches. The only thing I though was "so here am I moaning internally about my treadmill run, and that guys just getting on with it...get over yourself". The most inspiring people I've seen at gyms are people like that, buff men and women are great don't get me wrong, but I really admire commitment like that more.4
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I've noticed people at the gym tend to respect your effort level, not care about your appearance. Plus if you decide to start lifting, they're almost always happy to give advice. Don't let the fear keep you away, push through it, you're worth it.4
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Turn it on its head. Would you look at someone overweight and working hard on a treadmill, and think "Wow they look hilarious/hideous?" Or would you think they were awesome for getting healthy? Or (more likely) would you glance at them and then not think about them for the rest of the day?1
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There's people of all shapes, sizes and fitness levels in any gym. The hardest part is going for the first time but once your there you'll realise nobody will be looking at you and doing their own thing.1
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If you're only willing to exercise when you're already fit... well, you can see the problem! You're probably not going to stop hating how your body looks overnight, but you can choose right now not to let that irrational feeling hold you back.
However, I'm going to offer a counter opinion here. I think the gym sucks - it's extremely hard to maintain motivation if you're only there to lose weight or work on your body, because it takes so long to see any results. If you don't actually enjoy the exercise you're doing, it will be a temporary thing like a "diet", whose effects will fade when you inevitably lose motivation. Instead, find a physical activity that you enjoy and that you can stick with, and make it a permanent habit, a part of your routine.
Only join a gym if that's the place for your chosen activity. For instance, my gym has excellent squash facilities and that's why I'm a member, but I've never even seen their weight room or cardio equipment!
Of course, some activities leave you even more exposed, but if you can overcome that initial exposed feeling, you soon stop being self-conscious. When I first started running I was amazed how many acquaintances told me they'd seen me out pounding the pavement. Now, though, nobody even mentions it, it's just an accepted part of who I am. The only reason anyone noticed me in the first place was because they recognised me, and when they mentioned it in conversation it was only to express their admiration.1 -
I know this is not about me, @WorkingToBeSkinny -
Go work-out at the gym. Be around and in front of and beside other people.
You want to feel good about working out around people? The only way to have that feeling is to actually do the thing that bothers you. By doing-so, you will develop a healthy dose of "Not giving an F." Your journey is yours. Upon the river of your life you are in a tiny row boat. This is your boat to row. Will you row it towards obesity or row it towards health.
And even your username...Look friend - you are probably a grown up so I don't meant to lecture - but is 'skinny' REALLY what you are working towards? If merely 'skinny' is your goal I submit you may end up no different than you are now. Because when you're skinny it will be "All the others are so muscular and I'm weak!" or whatever.
First seek love for yourself. Seek value of your internal self. Going slowly, link by link you will Unzip the fat suit you're wearing and one day look back - not skinny, but HEALTHY, and Happy.
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Seriously these people are right. No body cares about you at the gym. Everyone is overly concerned with how they look so they don't notice how anyone else looks. And... even if someone does look? Who gives a sht! Own what ya got! It's not about them it's about you. Get over it and do your thing. Don't let the opinion of others have any power over you!0
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I know it seems impossible but try and socialize with the people you're working out around to create a climate of comfort. Whether it's asking for advice, making small chat or just giving someone a compliment give it a shot!1
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Although it's true, it's far easier for people to just say "people at the gym aren't looking at you", "people don't care" etc. It's a confidence issue that you need to get over. If I were you I would start doing some home work outs when you have the house to yourself. Or let your family no you are going to do some exercise and do not want to be disturbed. Once you get into the swing of it and get more body confidence you will find that you are able to get out and exercise in pubic.0
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If I occasionally glance your way...know that I'm running my grocery list and my errand list in my head and not paying attention to where my eyes went.
No offense. 2 -
I bought an elliptical from Kmart and work out at home......partly because I don't like exercising in public and partly because I like to exercise in my PJ's then shower and get ready for the day.1
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Block them out and do you. I was terrified going into the weight area for some reason. I thought all of the guys and super fit gals would be snickering the whole time. You know what? No one cared. Everyone was there to get their workouts in and go home. I knew what exercises I wanted to do, watched videos on form, put my headphones in and did it. The only guy that looked annoyed was this guy trying to take mirror selfies and I was in the way. lol1
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dress in long leggings and a long tshirt. problem solved.
in my classes we are all so busy trying not to pass out no one has time to look at the other
you just need to get on with it. You are not the first person to have fat on you and you wont be the last
good luck0 -
When I'm at the gym and see a larger person, several things always cross my mind.
1) they're awesome for being there, if I see them on more that one ocassion they are super awesome
2) they're better than everyone I know who is at home sitting on their couch
3) they motivate me to keep going, if they're sweating and putting in the effort, why am I not?
You're success in going to the gym will motivate others in the same situation. It's contagious.
I wish I was confident enough to tell them how awesome they are!3 -
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The only person that really cares about how you look in the gym, is you. Others feel the same about themselves.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Looking back, I have had a tendency to increase my time at the gym as I get slimmer/fitter, doing most of my exercise from home in the first 6-12 months. I'd say it was less about shame, and more about a desire to use more professional equipment to help my progression once I was somewhat fit. Although maybe there IS some pride getting me out the door too. I like the gym not only for its equipment, but for that feeling of being in a community of people who are focussed on their fitness.
BUT working out at home had big advantages too. At home I wear clothing that I'd never be caught dead in in public, I can strip down to bra and underwear if I'm overheating during cardio, I can be smelly, I can grunt, I can sing along to my music, I can fit my workouts in whenever I want, sometimes breaking them up over the course of the day. Stairs were my go to cardio in early days. I would keep a sheet of paper and tally up each flight over the course of the day. Hand weights were a close second, also scribbled down. Ditto for jumping jacks.
Exercise, IMO, is an important part of the weight loss process, both for the mental and physical aspects. Where there's a will there's a way.
You've got this.1
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