I feel weird.
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MyChocolateDiet
Posts: 22,281 Member
As I'm slimming down I'm smaller in my torso. When I sometimes adjust my clothes or press parts of my abdomen like when tightening my sweater or maybe tucking a shirt when I touch my torso and it's less puffy than it was, it feels slender and I'm reminded of something but I don't know what. I feel smaller and I feel like vulnerable or something, like somehow similar to times I've had surgery the way I felt immediately after like when you touch you and it doesn't feel like you're touching you. And like the word "frail" comes to mind, even though I am nowhere near small enough to deserve this word. Hard to describe. Also when I look in the mirror and see the person there she does not look like "me" anymore and it kind of freaks me out.
I thought I would be excited to be looking more like the old me but maybe I stayed heavy for too long because when I see the person in the mirror it looks weird and like I can't live up to her. Also like I don't know her. Also like she's too important for me. Like I'd avoid her in the store, or wouldn't sit next to her at a party. But I can't avoid me. I'm not sure what's going on here but I don't remember this feeling prior times I lost weight so that makes it in the category of if you don't understand it then it's scary.
That's right homies, my mind is playing tricks on me.
I thought I would be excited to be looking more like the old me but maybe I stayed heavy for too long because when I see the person in the mirror it looks weird and like I can't live up to her. Also like I don't know her. Also like she's too important for me. Like I'd avoid her in the store, or wouldn't sit next to her at a party. But I can't avoid me. I'm not sure what's going on here but I don't remember this feeling prior times I lost weight so that makes it in the category of if you don't understand it then it's scary.
That's right homies, my mind is playing tricks on me.
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Replies
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Patience, you'll catch up to her
It took me two years to fully inhabit my 'new' body.
(I know you're feeling weird, but, curious about your choice of 'frail' amid the other words you're using to describe this new person - is it a good thing, or a bad thing?)0 -
*Hugs* That is all.0
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I have been recently feeling things similar. I have been feeling less secure in myself. It is almost like losing the weight is also striping me of what I accomplished during the time I was over weight. Completely irrational, I know but one of those things I will have to struggle with till I am able to put it behind me.:flowerforyou:0
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It'll pass.0
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*hugs*
I have lost a lot of weight on my torso and my lower body is taking a long time to catch up. When I look in the mirror and see the bones in my chest it freaks me out. I have always shot for "strong" and "lean" rather than "skinny" and "boney", so I feel frail and unattractive.
I'm sure we'll both get there in the end.0 -
I probablly have further than you until goal but I already feel just that way!
It is weird and maybe mentally it just takes time for us to gel with changes
physically.0 -
Big hugs.
I know where you're coming from as I sometimes still have these feelings. Just take it a day at a time and know that you're lovable no matter what. There's just less of you to love.0 -
I can understand. We have a mental image of ourselves, we are used to seeing ourselves at a certain weight, some of us for years, and as the weight comes off, it takes time to adjust mentally and emotionally as well.
My weight loss is not as big as some others and it was still an adjustment for me. I'm smaller now than I've been in 17 years, when I walk past a full length mirror I sometimes cannot believe how small I've gotten, I think sometimes that extra weight we have could have been comfortable, and now it takes time for us to mentally "catch up" so to speak.0 -
I guess we'll get there. Even though I've lost 111 pounds, I still feel like that BIG person. Sometimes I see the hourglass figure but then that awful belly shows up!!! BLECH!!!
You've done great!0 -
Weight loss lag.0
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Lol I like the comment above me, " Weight loss lag ". I think I kinda know what you're feeling but hopefully you'll get used to the new you and it will pass, keep it up your doing good!0
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Our thoughts are the toughest part of this. They can knock you when you're not meeting your goals and betray you when you are. I guess all we can do in tough times like this is to continue, and when we have the energy and desire, notice and label the positive around us even if we're not fully buying it. Also notice the counterproductive thoughts, negate them and create incompatable ones , For example, turn "I'm frail" into " I'm strong" and " I'm not worthy" into "I am pretty incredible!". In other words fake the feelings until you make the feelings . Methinks I may need to take my own advice:)0
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Your good already0
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Your good already
The avatar is not me. For privacy reasons I choose an avatar that inspires me to look how I would at goal weight. Same basic shape and skin tone as me at goal weight.0 -
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The avatar is not me. For privacy reasons I choose an avatar that inspires me to look how I would at goal weight. Same basic shape and skin tone as me at goal weight.
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Maybe you *should* use your own photo instead of the avatar and stop hiding. Embrace the new you!0 -
Everytime i go to the bathroom I can't help but lift my shirt up in the mirror. I have a waist now!0
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Perhaps we do hide behind our weight? Now you are out there for everyone to see the REAL you, the person you have been trying to find all this time! With our weight we imagine if we lose it that we will be beautiful, perfect, capable and our lives will change, we will be permanently happy, glowing everybody will admire us even our lifestyles and home life will be just fantastic! The aim to achieve all that is very consuming and now your focus is changing. The reality is actually we are still the same person with the same problems that we always thought would go away when achieving goal. Maybe that is scary, making you feel vulnerable nowhere to hide. You have done so well just give yourself time to accept where you are. :-)0
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Weight loss lag.
It's totally that. It's so common it's a wonder it hasn't been studied (or has it?).0 -
Also adding hugs. I think it can take a long time for your head to catch up with your body. Also as I get smaller and pay more attention to my body ... I can see my veins, notice my heart beat more often, etc. People who touch me feel closer. I do have more of the vulnerable feeling too.0
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i've read that it takes up to a year for your brain to catch up to your body. Give it time.. it WILL pass. Otherwise, you gain all the weight back (like i did... learn from my mistakes.)0
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