I feel weird.

MyChocolateDiet
MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
in Motivation and Support
As I'm slimming down I'm smaller in my torso. When I sometimes adjust my clothes or press parts of my abdomen like when tightening my sweater or maybe tucking a shirt when I touch my torso and it's less puffy than it was, it feels slender and I'm reminded of something but I don't know what. I feel smaller and I feel like vulnerable or something, like somehow similar to times I've had surgery the way I felt immediately after like when you touch you and it doesn't feel like you're touching you. And like the word "frail" comes to mind, even though I am nowhere near small enough to deserve this word. Hard to describe. Also when I look in the mirror and see the person there she does not look like "me" anymore and it kind of freaks me out.

I thought I would be excited to be looking more like the old me but maybe I stayed heavy for too long because when I see the person in the mirror it looks weird and like I can't live up to her. Also like I don't know her. Also like she's too important for me. Like I'd avoid her in the store, or wouldn't sit next to her at a party. But I can't avoid me. I'm not sure what's going on here but I don't remember this feeling prior times I lost weight so that makes it in the category of if you don't understand it then it's scary.

That's right homies, my mind is playing tricks on me.
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Replies

  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Patience, you'll catch up to her :)

    It took me two years to fully inhabit my 'new' body.

    (I know you're feeling weird, but, curious about your choice of 'frail' amid the other words you're using to describe this new person - is it a good thing, or a bad thing?)
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    *Hugs* That is all.
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    I have been recently feeling things similar. I have been feeling less secure in myself. It is almost like losing the weight is also striping me of what I accomplished during the time I was over weight. Completely irrational, I know but one of those things I will have to struggle with till I am able to put it behind me.:flowerforyou:
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    It'll pass.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    *hugs*

    I have lost a lot of weight on my torso and my lower body is taking a long time to catch up. When I look in the mirror and see the bones in my chest it freaks me out. I have always shot for "strong" and "lean" rather than "skinny" and "boney", so I feel frail and unattractive.

    I'm sure we'll both get there in the end.
  • 43932452
    43932452 Posts: 7,246 Member
    I probablly have further than you until goal but I already feel just that way!
    It is weird and maybe mentally it just takes time for us to gel with changes
    physically. :)
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Big hugs.

    I know where you're coming from as I sometimes still have these feelings. Just take it a day at a time and know that you're lovable no matter what. There's just less of you to love.
  • Zumaria1
    Zumaria1 Posts: 225 Member
    I can understand. We have a mental image of ourselves, we are used to seeing ourselves at a certain weight, some of us for years, and as the weight comes off, it takes time to adjust mentally and emotionally as well.

    My weight loss is not as big as some others and it was still an adjustment for me. I'm smaller now than I've been in 17 years, when I walk past a full length mirror I sometimes cannot believe how small I've gotten, I think sometimes that extra weight we have could have been comfortable, and now it takes time for us to mentally "catch up" so to speak.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    I guess we'll get there. Even though I've lost 111 pounds, I still feel like that BIG person. Sometimes I see the hourglass figure but then that awful belly shows up!!! BLECH!!!

    You've done great!
  • zerryz
    zerryz Posts: 168 Member
    Weight loss lag.
  • CycleGuy9000
    CycleGuy9000 Posts: 290
    Lol I like the comment above me, " Weight loss lag ". I think I kinda know what you're feeling but hopefully you'll get used to the new you and it will pass, keep it up your doing good!
  • Zaniejane
    Zaniejane Posts: 329 Member
    Our thoughts are the toughest part of this. They can knock you when you're not meeting your goals and betray you when you are. I guess all we can do in tough times like this is to continue, and when we have the energy and desire, notice and label the positive around us even if we're not fully buying it. Also notice the counterproductive thoughts, negate them and create incompatable ones , For example, turn "I'm frail" into " I'm strong" and " I'm not worthy" into "I am pretty incredible!". In other words fake the feelings until you make the feelings <3. Methinks I may need to take my own advice:)
  • jdallas69
    jdallas69 Posts: 30 Member
    Your good already
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Your good already

    The avatar is not me. For privacy reasons I choose an avatar that inspires me to look how I would at goal weight. Same basic shape and skin tone as me at goal weight.
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
    [/quote]

    The avatar is not me. For privacy reasons I choose an avatar that inspires me to look how I would at goal weight. Same basic shape and skin tone as me at goal weight.
    [/quote]

    Maybe you *should* use your own photo instead of the avatar and stop hiding. Embrace the new you!
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    Everytime i go to the bathroom I can't help but lift my shirt up in the mirror. I have a waist now!
  • moss11
    moss11 Posts: 236 Member
    Perhaps we do hide behind our weight? Now you are out there for everyone to see the REAL you, the person you have been trying to find all this time! With our weight we imagine if we lose it that we will be beautiful, perfect, capable and our lives will change, we will be permanently happy, glowing everybody will admire us even our lifestyles and home life will be just fantastic! The aim to achieve all that is very consuming and now your focus is changing. The reality is actually we are still the same person with the same problems that we always thought would go away when achieving goal. Maybe that is scary, making you feel vulnerable nowhere to hide. You have done so well just give yourself time to accept where you are. :-)
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Weight loss lag.

    It's totally that. It's so common it's a wonder it hasn't been studied (or has it?).
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    Also adding hugs. I think it can take a long time for your head to catch up with your body. Also as I get smaller and pay more attention to my body ... I can see my veins, notice my heart beat more often, etc. People who touch me feel closer. I do have more of the vulnerable feeling too.
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    i've read that it takes up to a year for your brain to catch up to your body. Give it time.. it WILL pass. Otherwise, you gain all the weight back (like i did... learn from my mistakes.)
  • blc1971
    blc1971 Posts: 170 Member
    I can understand what you are saying. I am feeling some of those things now myself. I know I've lost 40 lbs and am smaller, but I still look in the mirror and see the old me. I'm 5'7" and approx. 173 lbs but sometimes I will rub my shoulder and it feels so small!! It's just as you said, like you aren't touching yourself but someone else. But it's still you! I was putting my son to bed last night and as I reached up to pull the chain on the light, I caught a glimpse of a woman in the dresser mirror who looked slim and athletic...then I realized that was ME!! LOL! Now I have a long way to go but I caught a glimpse of who I am becoming and I liked what I saw. I do still have some mental catching up to do though! Blessings on your journey...we will get there!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Your mind is crazy.

    But in all honesty, I've been there. I'm still there at times. I used to hold my bloated, tubby tummy as a security blanket. Now I find my hands rest on my stomach at night because I'm still 'freaked out' about how different it is. Like I have to touch it just to make sure it's real?

    I still don't feel like me. I'm waiting to reach the magical 'right weight' or dye my hair the right color or tan just the right amount or SOMETHING to match my insides and outsides and I wonder if it's just going to take time to get used to...like, we spent so much of our lives seeing ourselves one way, maybe this is no different.

    Way to make me think this early in the morning. T_T

    /passes the coffee
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    'Hugs'

    I think your feelings are normal. For some reason we humans are wired to resist change. It's good that you're aware of the feelings because I think sometimes it is exactly these feelings that 'scare' us into quitting and going back to our old, comfortable ways. I know in the past it's kept me from continuing on and I've become stuck or gained some of the weight back. I realized what was going on this time and I'm now 11 pounds past that point and loving the new me!

    It's very important to embrace the new you and continue to push past feeling 'weird' so you don't quit! The new you is healthy AND beautiful! You will get used to her and eventually the pictures of your old self will be the ones that seem weird.
  • vickilowell
    vickilowell Posts: 37 Member
    Perhaps we do hide behind our weight? Now you are out there for everyone to see the REAL you, the person you have been trying to find all this time! With our weight we imagine if we lose it that we will be beautiful, perfect, capable and our lives will change, we will be permanently happy, glowing everybody will admire us even our lifestyles and home life will be just fantastic! The aim to achieve all that is very consuming and now your focus is changing. The reality is actually we are still the same person with the same problems that we always thought would go away when achieving goal. Maybe that is scary, making you feel vulnerable nowhere to hide. You have done so well just give yourself time to accept where you are. :-)
  • vickilowell
    vickilowell Posts: 37 Member
    So well said........
  • ylor89
    ylor89 Posts: 105 Member
    I didn't read all the replies so I'm sure I'm repeating what others have written...

    I think your confidence will catch up to you. :wink:

    When I first started, I was feeling really blah inside. If that makes sense... I was losing weight, but it's like I couldn't really see that. Does that make sense? I'd see that I was down 10 pounds, but when I looked in the mirror, I was still the chubby short girl with really big calves. And you know what, I still see her and I'm getting close to being 20 pounds lighter!

    My belly used to stick out and now it doesn't as much. In fact, I used to try and stick out my belly as far as I could to see how much fat was on me, and now I can't do that. And it's a little scary because that must mean that the weight is really coming off. And if the weight is really coming off, then I must be changing.

    It's a little scary at first, but then you realize that all your hard work is paying off. All those times you've said no to Oreos? Totally worth it! I like that I fit more comfortably in my clothes, and I can wear shorts without worrying so much about my big calves. But most importantly, I like that food is no longer what I go to for comfort. Maybe that was the ultimate goal. :wink:

    Good luck with everything! Your confidence is coming! :smile:
  • AbbeyDove
    AbbeyDove Posts: 317 Member
    I wonder if lifting weights would help with this feeling? I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I look at my wrists (and I'm not small, I'm between a 14 and a 16 U.S. size) and they look as if they could snap just because I've lost a little weight (and not that much, either! Just 7 pounds!). I think I'm going to start a martial art called Aikido (it's a more peacefully-oriented martial art) for just that reason.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I can understand what you are saying. I am feeling some of those things now myself. I know I've lost 40 lbs and am smaller, but I still look in the mirror and see the old me. I'm 5'7" and approx. 173 lbs but sometimes I will rub my shoulder and it feels so small!! It's just as you said, like you aren't touching yourself but someone else. But it's still you! I was putting my son to bed last night and as I reached up to pull the chain on the light, I caught a glimpse of a woman in the dresser mirror who looked slim and athletic...then I realized that was ME!! LOL! Now I have a long way to go but I caught a glimpse of who I am becoming and I liked what I saw. I do still have some mental catching up to do though! Blessings on your journey...we will get there!

    YES! It's exactly like that!!
  • fooninie
    fooninie Posts: 291 Member
    I can relate to a certain degree! I was just telling someone the other day that "No matter how much weight I lose, I still see the fat one." I think our minds take time to catch up to our body and spirit!

    Hang in there, you are doing it, you are living it...now you must think it! HUGS!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    'Hugs'

    I think your feelings are normal. For some reason we humans are wired to resist change. It's good that you're aware of the feelings because I think sometimes it is exactly these feelings that 'scare' us into quitting and going back to our old, comfortable ways. I know in the past it's kept me from continuing on and I've become stuck or gained some of the weight back. I realized what was going on this time and I'm now 11 pounds past that point and loving the new me!

    It's very important to embrace the new you and continue to push past feeling 'weird' so you don't quit! The new you is healthy AND beautiful! You will get used to her and eventually the pictures of your old self will be the ones that seem weird.

    Thanks ConnieMaxwell, this was almost precisely my point in posting. I waited until like the 15th time it happened where I glanced in the mirror during a routine chore and my sweater was hanging a little or it actually appears I have no belly or love handles with this particular sweater, or whatnot. I figured just because I havent' experienced it with my past weight loss doesn't mean it's not a thing, and some people here might know it. I figured if I voice it and get it out of my head it can control me less or have less chance to fester in my mind and turn into sabatoge. Also that if anyone here knew this phenomena that would help conquer it completely. It's looking like that. I'm getting "wait it out" as a strategy from all your replies. It's never happened to me before and maybe that's why I always reached goal weight and stayed there for years to me THAT was the real me and no imposters! This time I may have stayed overweight too long and accepted that version of myself. Not gonna do that again.

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