Is this true!

gothchiq

*shakes head* not with me. By the time I get rid of someone, I want to launch them into the freaking sun.

chocolate_owl

Yes, ex-lovers can be friends, and it doesn't mean they're still in love. Romantic love peaks and wanes. If it happens to wane during a time you realize you're not compatible and committed, perhaps you can separate amicably, and perhaps you can remain friends. I'm friendly with a couple of my exes. The breakups were hard at the time, but we both realized our relationship didn't have the foundation to be forever.

That said, if my husband ever said my friendship with any of them made him uncomfortable, I'd cut them out without hesitation. I like them as people and enjoy talking to them, but their friendship isn't anywhere near as important as my firmly committed marriage. If you're ever thinking about choosing an ex over a serious significant other, you probably need to evaluate that love thing again.

cwolfman13

I'm not sure you can be a go out to lunch, call, text, hang out, etc kind of friend. I'm friendly with a couple of my ex-girlfriends but we don't hang out...if we see each other out and about we will stop and say hi and maybe have a short chat or something.

IDK if it's really possible for opposite sex to truly be platonic friends...at least in the one on one sense (friends because you're friends with their husband or they're one of your wife's friends doesn't really count)...not that I've hooked up with every girl I've ever been platonic friends with, but I've certainly thought about it and there's some level of attraction...

240sx7

I would say no.
In my experience, my now spouse wanted to stay friends with an ex.
(they were friends before i came into the mix).
Just the thought that they had something very passionate before I came along a couple years later is enough to get the ex out. I don't want to be thinking of that everytime they get together to hang out with mutual friends! YUCK!

I said i didn't like it, and you better decide who you want in your life or I'll make that decision for you and be long gone.

Cut it off right then and there with the ex. From then on, we got married and things are Awesome.

maeld51

I was married for 35yrs, lived with him from 17 to 50.
I worked very hard during the divorce and since to maintain a friendly relationship, mostly for the sake of our grandson.
We are friends but it does cause me some anxiety and often times it seems it would be easier if we hated each other.
Going with the flow.

peaceout_aly

Jimb376mfp wrote: »

Discuss.

I've only had three boyfriends (and didn't "talk" to anyone in between, not one that likes to be in the dating scene...I'm a romantic)
First one - still love him. He died at 21 y.o. If he were still alive, there was no way we could have continued on a life just being "friends"
Second one - realized I never loved him, terrible, manipulating and abusive human being
Third one - love of my life

From personal experience, this rings true. And no, ex-lover's can not be friends (not counting hook-ups, I know plenty of people that "hooked up" and are married to other people yet still remain friends with their previous flings)

salembambi

i can be friends with most of the people ive dated

but my most recent x is not going well with the whole friends thing...*sigh* letting go sucks

chocolate_owl

cwolfman13 wrote: »

I'm not sure you can be a go out to lunch, call, text, hang out, etc kind of friend. I'm friendly with a couple of my ex-girlfriends but we don't hang out...if we see each other out and about we will stop and say hi and maybe have a short chat or something.

IDK if it's really possible for opposite sex to truly be platonic friends...at least in the one on one sense (friends because you're friends with their husband or they're one of your wife's friends doesn't really count)...not that I've hooked up with every girl I've ever been platonic friends with, but I've certainly thought about it and there's some level of attraction...

Two of my three closest friends are guys. One of those friendships got a bit squirrely for a while - cuddling and such - but that was because we were feeling pressure from expectations that you're supposed to fall in love with your best friend. It didn't last long - being romantic was really frikkin weird and uncomfortable for both of us. With the other guy, there's never been any spark of that kind at all. He's a great friend, but he's so far removed from what I want in a love interest and partner that there's been no question about the platonic status of our friendship.

I'd guess sleeping with me has crossed their minds at some point, but there's a difference between briefly wondering about sleeping with someone and thinking about it enough to impact your friendship. I've had to draw boundaries in friendships before - don't touch me like that, don't talk to me like that, don't get pouty about my boyfriend, don't bring up anything sexual. I've found the more a guy tries to make you "one of the guys" by telling penis jokes around you, the more he secretly wants to be in your pants. That doesn't happen with these two guys, so if either of my BFFs have been secretly pining to bang me for the past 8 years, they've done a stellar job of compartmentalizing that and not letting it interfere with the awesomeness we have.

sunburntgalaxy

I broke up with my long-time (20 yeas living together) boyfriend 3 months ago and we are trying to stay friends. We kind of drifted apart romantically so that is pretty much the spot we were at anyway, so maybe that is why it is not as hard for us to do - I think it depends on how things end. It is kind of weird he keeps trying to fix me up though - not really used to that yet (also not read for that yet). So I think it is possible.